5am thoughts

It's 5am and I can't sleep.

I've been awake since 4am tossing and turning, willing my mind to shut down so that my weary eyes could close and take me to slumber land.

Not happening.

So I thought I might purge all my thoughts here in the hope that clearing my head will be my answer. Of course once I am ready to head back to bed, the kids will wake! I'd be right if Duane was here, but he is off cleaning until 9am, so no chance of a sleep in. Oh well, I have our weekly Sunday Siesta to look forward to.

So what's running around my head?

Firstly my stupid wisdom tooth has flared up again, not yet unbearably painful, but still offering glimpses of it's potential. I've been taking panadol which does take the edge off it, however I really think that I will need another dose of A/b's to get me through it. I'll call the oral surgeon on Monday and see how far up (or how far down!) the wait list I am for getting them removed once and for all. I'm hoping they will take pity on the fact that I am still breastfeeding my "baby" and unable to take too strong a pain killer. Yes, I am avoiding telling them how old my baby is, they don't need to know that he is 15mths and only feeds maybe once a day!

The other thing that is consuming my thoughts is so, so exciting. I have been asked by my best friend to be with her and her husband through their journey of pregnancy and birth. I am thrilled and honoured that they have asked me. This birth is her 2nd, first was a mediaclly necessary c/s. She desperately wants a VBAC (vaginal birth after C/s), not just because it is mostly best for bub and Mum, but to also heal the hurt and feelings of being let down in her previous birth.

Sure, she came away with a healthy baby, and ultimately that's what it comes down to, but treating Mum's with respect and emotional support after a major operation should just be what happens and your absolute right.

Can you believe that after a C/s her baby was whisked past her and not returned for over an hour and a half? She was just told that it was too cold in the theatre for babies (umm...derrr what about warm blankets??), then her husband was sent out into the hallway with a brand new baby with absolutely no support or idea what was happening. Meanwhile Mum was in the theatre for 1/2 hour getting stitched up, no doubt hormones going through the roof AND no baby. THEN another 45 minuted in recovery ALONE, and to find out later that was because the hospital doesn't want to put on extra staff which would allow Mum and Baby precious first moments together in recovery. That is so, so wrong.

It would be Ok (well not ok, but forgivable) if there was a medical problem, but this was for an elective (aarhhhh, I hate that term used for C/s's when there is no other choice) C/s. Maybe for an emergency they might not be able to put their crap together, but surely for an elective where they have ample of warning, things could have been done more respectfully.

It's just so obstetric led, with no respect or emotional support at all giving to the birthing women. The OB walks away with the memory of a happy family as they first meet, and no doubt patting himself on the back for a job well done, with total disregard for all the other factors. It's the woman that carries the burden of the experience for the rest of her life. It's her that plays it over and over again, feeling the powerlessness every time and that loss of control. The only person that had control was the OB (KNob), and mostly just for his own convenience, to make his job easier.

Birth does matter.

On the upside we have found a hospital that is Baby/Mother friendly and their policies are so much better. IF a C/s was to happen and everyone is well, bubs goes straight to Mum. I think then it's a quick check and wipe over from the Pead and then back to Mum. Mum gets stitched up, all with Bub on her chest or being held by Dad. The it's ALL 3 into recovery together, bubs and Mum are skin-to-skin and if bub is interested, they can have their first breasfeed.

No separation, no anxious Dad pacing the floor with bub, no confused baby looking for a nipple, no Mum spending the most surreal time of her life all alone. How it should be.

Phew, glad to get that out. I am so pissed of that women are treated like crap at what should be one of the most beautiful moments of their life. It's irrelevant which way the baby comes out, both ways should be handled respectively. When at a time that you are being your most powerful, you are powerless.

So now she is on the journey to Vbac. I am confidant that she can do it, as long as she is given the right support and guidance. First step is getting into one of the Vbac supportive Ob's.

We went and did a tour of the maternity ward yesterday and chatted to a few of the midwives. As long as everything is going well in the pregnancy, they are very supportive of vbac's. They talked about the monitoring, explaining that it is both wireless and water proof which means that it can be worn into the shower and also means water birth in an option. Totally different attitude compared to when she asked them at the other hospital. Wrong stat's where thrown at her, eyebrows were raised and no other options were given.

Virtually their way or the highway, thank you very much.

I can't wait to see the elation on both their faces when they get to meet their new baby, and have my own little piece of "birthing" high. I keep picturing her given birth in water, she's a Pieces like me so I am sure that she will find comfort there.

Wow, the kids still have not risen. They are both in my bed, Xav came in at about 2am and Grace came at about 4am.

Here they are both enjoying a lazy Sunday morning in the parental (who am I kidding! I meant family) bed.