Grace 4.10

She loves raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.  She loves cradling, loving and caring for her dolls, followed by smashing up matchbox cars with her little brother. She adores being an older sister and plays the part perfectly. She is loving, gentle and fiercely protective of her younger brother. She looks up to her Daddy, wanting him when she is upset or sad, often barricading the door so he can't leave. She is funny and cheeky, with a wicked sense of humour.  She loves drawing and her most perfect day would be spent creating artwork out of crayons and crisp white paper.  She loves cardboard boxes and empty toilet rolls, turning them into masterpieces scattered around the house.  She can be timid and shy, but blooms like a beautiful flower once you get to know her.  Her greatest wish is to see a real fairy.  She believes in them.  She is stunningly beautiful from the inside out.  Her favourite colour is pink, followed closely by purple.  She loves stuffed toys and believes they come to life when she is asleep.  She is adamant trackpants are only to be worn at home, and is therefore often embarrassed by her mother.  Clothing is one of her greatest loves.  She is mesmerized by nature and has a beautiful way with animals.  She has a gentle heart and gives wonderful cuddles.  She's determined to do a perfect cartwheel.

She is practically perfect in every way.

I love you Grace xx

Travel

Duane won a carton of Corona through some sort of boy bet.  I'm not sure of specifics, but it had something to do with "my football team being better than your", a typical pissing contest between men/boys.

I've had my  years days of beer drinking and haven't had one for a long time, but decided it might be a nice complement to the seafood marinara pasta that I'd made for dinner.  Duane served it up with the obligatory wedge of lime shoved in the neck.  I took a sip........and that's when it hit me.

I NEED TO TRAVEL

One taste of that sweet cerveza and I was immediately reminiscent of my travelling days.  Sipping corona's on the beach of Mexico, walking through a late night summer thunderstorm after a night out at the nightclubs of Cabo San Lucas, jumping out of a plane in Canada, standing at the top of the Canadian Rockies, visiting a million temples in Japan, walking down the cobblestone street of Old Montreal, dancing in the street as I enjoyed my very first snow fall in Banff.  The world is such a wondrous and amazing place and I want to discover as much of it as I can.

I want to spend chunks of time really exploring a country/place, not just quick little touristy visits.  I'm also toying with the idea of spending a year in another country.  Once I'm a fully registered Midwife (OMG, I can't believe that I'm on the way to that!!!), there are many countries that I can work in.  Canada being one.  Duane and I have talked about spending a year there.  I spent a year back in my youth (gosh, now I feel old - I have youth), and have a wonderful friend living there.  It would be a great base for lots of travel, and would give the kids a taste of another country without the daunting task of learning another language. 

I love my life right now.  I just know that once the kids are older, I can't wait to take them around the world and open there eyes to the amazing planet we live on.  Money is the only thing that will stop us, but even for that we have a plan.  Duane and I have worked out that we can pay our home loan off in 5 years.   So, by the time Grace is 10, which we agree is a perfect age to travel, we should be mortgage free!  It means we have to somehow come up with an extra $300 per week to do it, which sounds doable - I think.  I know that we wont be able to start immediately, but I'm hoping that next year I can maybe get an assistant nursing position and maybe fit in a few shifts every week.  I'm also thinking maybe over the holidays I can pick up some work, then just dump all that on the mortgage. 

So, next year we have decided to start the project.  It will probably take longer, but that's our plan for now.  We want to be paying the last payment on our mortgage by the end of 2016.  I can't imagine how that will feel.  Imagine not having to pay a mortgage EVER AGAIN!!!  Being able to save all that money instead and use it on much better things than just interest!   The hardest bit in all this will be refraining from wanting to get a bigger and better house.  Duane and I often talk about our "dream" home, complete with acreage and ensuite.  However, we both have agreed that to be in our house and mortgage free would make us happier than extra land and a bigger/newer house.

One thing that may have to be sacrificed though is another baby.  Having a 3rd would mean me out of the workforce longer and not being able to pay the house off as fast as we want to.  I may be ok with it too.  Unless I think of tiny little wondersuits - then I'm a mess.  But right now, I'm thinking about making the best life for the family I have here.  If I am blessed with another, we'll work around it and everything will be fine too.

A stuffed up prick

On Wednesday I got a letter from the Family Assistance office letting me know that according to their records Xav's immunisations weren't up to date. Being that the only one he was missing was the chicken pox one, I called up to let then know that he had already had the chickenpox and wouldn't be needing the injection. After explaining this to the lovely lady on the phone, she then said "Well, apart from the chickenpox one, he is also missing his last Hep B" I knew this wasn't right as right in front of me, written in his little red baby book was the 12th April 2010, Hep B and the serial number. She then went on to say "No, on that day your son had the flu shot, not the Hep B" I'm just thinking now that it's a computer error and after checking with my Dr's surgery it'll be all sorted out. The lovely lady says she'll give the surgery a call to find out and she'd call me back.

I thought nothing much of it, still disbelieving that a mistake like that could actually be made. An hour or so later, she called me back. "Mrs Penney, I'm really sorry to tell you this, but your son was actually given a flu injection NOT a hep-b as you and the Dr had requested" As you can imagine, I was FURIOUS. I could not believe that my son had been injected with something that I did not request and I was only finding about it now.  It happened 5 months ago.

I wanted to march straight down there and give them the full wrath of my fury, but Duane was out getting the kids and his haircut, so I thought it best to wait for him.  However, by the time he got home the surgery had shut. 

The next day I called up to make an appointment, explaining what it was for.  The receptionist was very apologetic and suggested that I talked to the RN in charge.  The Rn apologised profusely, in between my ranting and raving about how angry I was this happened and wanting to know how they were going to guarantee it didn't happen again.  She thought I might be better off talking to the Manager of the clinic, so she put me through.  Once again, more apologies and more ranting.  The Manager did tell me straight out "I'm not going to lie to you, I've been put in the position for the last 6 weeks to clean up this clinic as there have been a few issues"  She also went on to say that the Rn who was responsible for Xav's injection had been fired only a week after starting, because of a few issues - including one similar to ours.  She is apparently suspended from working as an RN, and is in the process of being reviewed by the medical board.  I said that I also wanted to add a formal complaint and she agreed that a incident report will be completed and will be accompanying the review.

I remember that when I got Xav's injection, I'd forgotten his red book, so I took it down a few days later to be filled in.  I can't remember who filled it in, but whoever did wrote "Hep B - 12th April 2010" followed by a serial number.  I queried the manager about the number and she confirmed to be that it was a FAKE number, and she can only assume that it was the same RN and she has done that to cover herself.  SO not only did she stuff up and give the wrong immunisation, she's falsified documents too.  Wrong on so many levels.

I've been playing the "What If" game over and over in my head.  What if he did have a reaction and we took him to hospital and he was treated as if it was from the Hep b injection?  Considering the flu vaccine was withdrawn for children under 5, just a few days after Xav received it - certainly would have been nice to be aware and alert for symptoms.  It's just inexcusable that such an error and cover up were made.

I put a lot of effort and consideration into how and what immunisations we give the kids.  To have our decisions on what we give our child taken out of our hands angers me so much.  I know that the flu shot is not likely to harm him, but it's still NOT an immunisation that Duane or I would have agreed to for our children.   Also now we have the added inconvenience of taking Xav back for the RIGHT injection - Hep b. 

I have asked the medical centre for a written apology, explaining what injection we went in for and what he actually got.  I am going to be chasing the complaint up too, making sure that it gets done.  I know mistakes happen, but I'm not going to just let this one slide. 

Complacency and lack of attention to the small things, creates a slippery slope to big mistakes.

The curse of Studying

I feel we've been cursed since I started studying Anatomy and Physiology.

Every time we start studying something, it seems something related to what we are studying pops up in my life.

It started way back when I'd just taken Grace for her first hearing test. I rushed to my lecture afterwards, with my head racing about everything I'd just been told (hearing loss, severe etc) and guess what the lecture was on? The ear and hearing. I sat their listening to the lecturer talk about how important it was to pick up hearing loss early. She spoke about a study she did in children's detention centres and said that most of the children their had a significant hearing loss. Right, so of course I had visions in my head of my "late to be diagnosed" daughter turning into a misfit. Luckily a few months later she was given the all clear, and future visits behind glass panels was taken out of my mind.

Next was the heart. Guess what I was studying the week the Dr picked up Xav's heart murmur/valve regurgitation? Yep - the ticker. It did make me remember all the anatomy of the heart properly though and I certainly knew the difference between the atrioventricular valves and semi-lunar valves which paid dividends in last weekends exam.

Blood vessels were next on the list. I went along to a funeral for an old school friend just a few days after studying about arteries and veins, and hearing about how clots were such a problem post-operation. The poor girl had died of a pulmonary embolism, which is a clot that had travelled to the lungs and burst. She'd been tired and went to have a rest and then couldn't be woken by her husband. One of the saddest deaths I've ever heard. It was a terrible sad funeral, made particularly horrific by her husband up the front cradling their 2 week old baby whilst their 2 y/o ran around totally oblivious to what was happening. Although I didn't know her that well, she was a beautiful girl - both inside and out. The guys loved her and the girls loved her even more. She was the picture perfect student and friend and so amazingly lovely and I bet she made the most fantastic Mother. It's just so sad to think about her 2 beautiful boys not having their mother anymore and her husband not having his beloved wife. It's the hardest thing to imagine, but must be a million times worth to actually experience.

Back to study and last week was respiratory. We've had a week of colds and coughs, with everyone but me getting over it fairly quickly. However, a few days ago mine seemed to freshen up again and the coughing intensified. I coughed all weekend, then on Tuesday started having excruciatingly sharp chest pain accompanying every cough or deep breath. It got continuously worse over the day, until at lunch time I could barely move without the feeling of being stabbed in my right lung. I called Duane and although he was supposed to be working late, he negotiated to start earlier the next morning so he could come home sooner. I couldn't move my arm or even walk without being bent over and bracing my chest, so there was no way I was able to drive to pick Grace up.

Xav was home with me all day and was an absolute angel. He amused himself all day, alternating between playing with his cars and lego and putting on episodes of playschool. Food was a bit hit and miss, he could only really eat what he could reach. He did make himself a peanut butter sandwhich for lunch which was impressive - but spent the rest of the day snacking on crackers, biscuits and sultanas. He also played lovely nurse for me, and kept on filling up my drink bottle as I needed it. All that encouragement of self sufficiency definitely pays off at times like this!

I tried making appointment at my Dr's, but they weren't taking any more patients for the day. I then tried a few other Dr surgeries around, but they all were full. Duane ended up calling Medcall (our after hours Dr) and they arranged for someone to come out about 7pm. After checking me over and listening to my lungs, he said that I had pleurisy with maybe a touch of pneumonia. He gave me another script for antibiotics to take alongside the ones I already had and wrote out a referral for an xray the following day. He also said that if I got any worse over night to go straight to hospital.

Getting in to bed that night was tough. It actually took me 10 mins of inching down slowly and waiting for everything to adjust, before I was laying down. After about half hour of laying down the constant pain had gone, just coming back when I was coughing or had to take a deeper breath in. I slept well that night, with the pain bearable. However, it was back as soon as I stood up the next morning. I wasn't in any state to be driving, so my wonderful mother in law came up bright and early to take Grace to school for me. Xav should have been going, but he was only 4 days post getting chicken pox so had to stay home. All his spots had scabbed over by then, but the actual policy is 5 days after first spots come out.

The electricity was going to be off all day at my house (Yes, I'd paid my bill!), so after getting the x-ray Xav and I spent the day at Grandmas. I got to lay on the couch feeling sorry for myself, whilst Xav was fed, watered and amused by his doting Grandmother. I tried once again to get into my normal Dr, but she was full up. Medcall called later that afternoon and asked if they could come around that night to discuss the results of the X-ray. Turns out I don't have pneumonia, but do have the pleurisy and an infection running the length of my trachea.

I'm on some mega-antibiotics and just under instructions to rest, rest and rest. I went back to Uni on Thursday, and it completely exhausted me. I got home at 3.30pm and went straight to bed, woke at 6pm and went back at 7pm and slept all night. My darling husband knew I wasn't feeling fantastic, so took the kids out late night shopping to tire them out. Today was pretty much the same. I went to uni from 9-11am, then came home and slept from 12-2pm. I'm just so tired, which is both a result of constant shallow breathing with the pleurisy and also a side effect of the antibiotic that I'm on. I'm just so thankful that I'm on 3 weeks break now and can slow down and recoup after this little ordeal. The pain is waning, but certain movements still are a bit tender and I'm still not able to take deep breaths. My cough is going though, which will definitely help me heal better.

Meeting Miss Pam

A few weeks ago, Grace had her home visit from the woman that is stealing her from me lovely teacher that she'll have next year in Prep. Miss Pam was spending a week visiting all of her next years Prep students and of course the families. It's a chance for the child to meet their teacher on their own turf, and for the teacher to get to know a little bit more about them in a one on one situation. I was a bit nervous, thinking I was the one being assessed, but I was reassured by other parents that it's fine and mainly the teacher will be chatting to the child.

The visit went wonderful, and it didn't take long for Grace to warm up and talk to her. Xav, didn't need any encouragement and spent the whole time trying to steal Miss Pam's attention or asking her a multitude of questions like "Where does the lightening come from Miss Pam?". She took the time to chat to him and answer all his question, actually she was very impressed with his inquisitiveness. She'll find out all about it in 2.5 years, as siblings go to the same teachers! He kept on dragging out all his favourite things and spent the whole hour saying "Miss Pam, look at me, look what I'm doing Miss Pam" I had to laugh when we were outside and he was still insisting on it being all about him, he was digging in the sand pit and called out "Hey, Miss Pam. Look at me. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm DIGGING A HOLE" He said it like it was the most amazing thing that anyone had ever done in the world and he fully expected praise to rain down on him!

It was kinda good though having her pushy brother around, as it meant Grace had to step up and be a bit more assertive to get noticed. She showed Miss Pam all her favourite things, including the fairy garden and all her outside toys. Grace then asked her if she'd like go visit her bedroom and they spent a good 15 minutes up there together playing dolls on the floor. Miss Pam told Grace all about how she lived on a yacht and about all the fun things she was going to be doing next year.

Grace opened right up to her and I felt an instant ease about handing my daughter over next year. Miss Pam is lovely, kind, open and so perfectly suited to teaching the prep age group. She has a beautiful soft & patient voice, but my guess is she isn't a push over either!

Just before she left, she gave Grace her special symbol that she'll use in her early school years. It's a crescent moon, which is perfectly fitting considering her prep class is called "Moonlight". Miss Pam also gave her a crisp, white face washer that Grace will be using next year for washing her hands and face with the special lavender face wash they use after lunch, and she asked us to embroider a moon onto it.

I'm actually really thankful that we made the decision to send our kids to this school. I've met some wonderful families and I can see some beautiful friendships being made - both for the kids and for us adults. I actually went along last Sunday to one of Grace's friends Mum's blessingway, which was an amazingly, intense experience. It was my first blessingway and I left feeling so uplifted and connected. Connected - both in a spiritual sense and also sporting a lovely wool bracelet that is to be kept on until I get the text she is in labour. It was just so much more than a baby shower, and something that I'll definitely want for myself or any of my close friends.

So, although I'm saddened that the time is nearly here for my daughter to be off to full-time school, I also have a feeling of contentment as I know she is going somewhere very special.

The sick house

It's seems the last few weeks we've been invaded by a variety of bugs that, although aren't too bad, have still managed to upset the applecart. Add to that I've been a bundle of pre-exam nerves and in full "must study every second of the day or feel tremendous guilt" mode - and it's all come to a head.

Grace battled through chickenpox with barely a problem. The first time she wanted to scratch we told her that it would just make them worse and also make them scar- so she didn't. Now, I doubt it was just her strong willpower and immense vanity that allowed her to refrain from the itching, so I'm only guessing that she had a mild strain. Everyone kept saying that it was only mild as she already had the vaccine, which was proven wrong about 15 days later.

Xav hadn't had the chickenpox vaccine yet, and it was actually one that I was still deciding to give or not. I'd read lots about the vaccine wearing off and catching chickenpox in the "wild" was much better for longer immunity. So, once Grace was struck down I figured it was as good as time as any to cross contaminate. There was lots of saliva swapping, vesicle touching and bathing in germy water. For 14 days Xav showed absolutely NO signs of being infected. It usually starts with headaches, fevers and cold symptoms and just feeling all over crappy. Xav had a slight clear runny nose, but did not slow down from his usual go-go-go attitude, so I was starting to think somehow he'd avoided it.

Last Thursday night however, we noticed a few spots on Xav's back - although he insisted that they were just mosquito bites and therefore had a free pass to scratch them. I was expecting Friday morning to come and my little boys perfect complexion to be a mass of pussy spots - but only a few extras popped up overnight. All up he has probably got about 20-30 spots, mostly on his back, in his hair, on his cute little dimpled bottom and on his legs. He has a few random ones on his face and chin, but most of his are able to be covered with clothes. He's scratched a few times, but stops once we remind him. It hasn't slowed him down either, whereas Grace was tired with hers and just wanted to rest, Xav hasn't stopped. He has been having a nightly bath with rolled outs, which apparently helps and also Nurse Grace and I have been lathering him up with calamine before he goes to bed. The spots already look like they are drying out, so hopefully only a few more days and our encounter with the pox will all be over.

Last night, as Duane was drying Xavier off after a bath, he noticed a little black dot near his nipple. I'd noticed it in the morning but just thought it was where he's scratched and it had crusted over, but it was actually a tick! It was tiny, and looked like only it's head had started burying in so I ripped it out with some tweezers. Xav's having all the fun at the moment!

Apart from the chicken pox, we've all had a head cold that has turned into a nasty cough. I was feeling a bit rundown, after a week of intense studying for yesterdays exam, which I'm sure didn't help me. I finished the exam yesterday, picked the kids up and just came home and crashed. My chest has felt so tight and constricted, even breathing has been hurting. Also, for the last 2 nights, Grace has woken up screaming in the night saying her ears are hurting, so today we got Medcall (love them!) to come out and check us all over. Grace has a slight middle ear infection and red throat and Duane and I both have red throats and a lower respiratory infection. Although Xav's been fine, we got him checked out too and it turns he is the worst of all of us! Poor little Xav has a "severe" middle ear infection with a crackly chest. Normally I can pick in an instant when Xav has an ear infection, and usually so can the neighbours as he SCREAMS, but he hasn't been out of sorts at all! I think we are all on the mend though and hopefully a few days of rest at home will do the job.

It's Fathers Day today and we'd planned for a beautiful spring picnic down the beach, but that was all squashed by a combination of the drizzly, rainy day it is and how crappy we all feel. Instead, Wendy and Trevor came up and we had a picnic here instead. The kids had been given money to pick out a card and present each for Duane for Fathers Day. They each chose a different mug for him, which he was thrilled about - they are so much better than the 500 that he already has! We also gave him an Oz-trail pop up gazebo that he's been coveting for ages. I've been keeping an eye out, seeing if any came on special and I was lucky enough to get one for $179, down from $359. It's perfect for camping, picnic or even just parties in the backyard.

The kids had also made a special picture at pre-school, with a picture, footprint and poem on it - which they both proudly presented to him this morning.

Now, I'm off to drown my cough in some tea with ginger, honey and lemon!