Grace at 4 years 3 months

My beautiful Grace is 4 years 3 months and just the loveliest little girl. She is sweet, caring and just an absolute delight to be around. I'm not sure what they put in her Iv in hospital, but from the day she came out, she has been obsessed with learning how to write, I've got a few books that have been stashed away, ones that use a white board marker and she can just rub off and use again - they are a HUGE hit! She loves them, the only problem is, she never wants to do anything else. From the time she wakes up of a morning, until it's time for bed, she just wants to practice her writing. She is improving so much too and can write all her letter, most of them quite neatly too. She can copy words, and I'm constantly being asked to write a list of words for her to practice. I am so pleased that she is starting to really enjoy learning, prior to this she just wasn't interested in anything, just wanting to play and even then she would flitter between things. It's wonderful to see her so engrossed and the leaps and bounds she is taking - all on her own steam!

She is also loving drawing and doing the most amazing and imaginative pictures. She loves drawing garden scenes, complete with flowers, fairies and rainbows. She also has perfected her helicopter drawing, which always have to have a pilot - usually her with long, flowing hair!

She is loving her 2 days a week at pre-school. Next Tuesday Wendy will be taking her, as I start uni too early to stay for the goodbye song. She's not really keen on just being left, without me staying until 9.30am, so I'm sending the Mil in my place. I'll still be able to stay with her on a Wednesday, so hopefully she'll be fine with that.

A funny thing happened this week. Normally Duane picks her up from pre-school, but I did on Tuesday as a rare event. I was so excited to do it and bounded in expecting a big cheerful reunion. Imagine my plunging heart, when Grace saw me and her little face dropped as she asked Where is Daddy? I'd planned a big shopping trip with her, and promised a special juice at the end. She just kept asking for Daddy and then asked if we'd still be able to go for ice-cream. Hmmmm, What do you mean Ice-cream Grace? She then answered so coyly that Daddy ALWAYS takes her for ice-cream after he picks her up from school, one in a cone. After a little more drilling, it was ascertained that this has been there little thing for quite a long time. Sweet and naughty all rolled into one! I love it though, love that they have a special ritual together even if it does involve crap food just before dinner. I didn't take her, they can keep that as their bonding thing. She did insist as I left her on Wednesday that I was not to pick her up, Daddy would thank you very much. And he did and they had ice-cream.

She is such an independent little girl and so willing to help me around the house. She has her jobs to do each day. Making her bed, feeding the dogs, helping unpack the dishwasher and setting the table each night for dinner. She also loves doing her own washing, and can do it all by herself from start to finish. It's so sweet watching her stuff it all in, put the machine on the right settings, put in the powder and then keep checking for it to finish. She then hangs it on the clothes horse, and brings it all in when it's dry.

I love spending time with her, as she is just so easy to be around. She is an enchanting little girl, with such a beautiful nature.

Over the last few months she has taken on an edge of maturity, and now I can see her thirst for learning developing. I had doubts at the end of last year if she would be ready for school in 2011, but now I know that she is most definitely ready and is going to thrive!

False start

Yesterday was the day I was booked in to start my root canal. I got to the dentist, they did an x-ray and had a poke around and realised that they needed a specific solvent to make it easier for the cap to come off. So I was rescheduled to come in today.

So, today I work up the courage again, and head in for my 10.30am appointment. I was put straight in, x-rayed again and then numbed up with that damn long needle. This needle felt HUGE and I swear it took about 2 minutes from first jab until she took it back out again. I hate that feeling of having the needle being swivelled around, as the dentist pushed it deeper, avoiding bone on the way. Yuck. She was lovely though, talking to me the whole time, reminding me to breathe and relax - it was strangely soothing!

It numbed up after a few more minutes and then the drilling started. I was coping fine, the anaesthetic has worked wonderfully and I wasn't feeling a thing. I was even starting to completely relax and just layed back, enjoying the rest time. After about 20 minutes of drilling, picking and poking, the dentist told me that she has gotten to a bit in the tooth that she was unsure of, so she wanted to do another x-ray. I had a root canal on this tooth when I was about 10, and the dentist was hoping that the "canal" they had created then, would be all the way to the cavity entrance point. However, it wasn't, it was only half way through the tooth and the rest of the way to the canal was full of something not too much different for cement. That meant that she had to navigate through that rather blindly, in the hope that she'd hit a space which would indicate that she was at the beginning of the canal. It's normally not that hard, because on an original root canal, the nerve is there to show the way - but as I'd had the nerve out there was nothing. She x-rayed again and could see that she was on the way, but was worried about continuing to drill and accidental heading in the wrong direction. She got her Superior in to have a go, and after drilling for a bit, she wasn't confident in going any further either. The problem is if the root canal gets stuffed up and isn't successful, it will mean that I'll need a post and screw-on fake tooth, which is not covered by the public dentist and it is very, very expensive. Like in the vicinity of $5000. So they are trying very hard to save my tooth.

Anyway, after 3 of the dentists chatted, they decided that the best thing to do would be close up the tooth and have me come back to see the head dentist, who is apparently fantastic at root canal work. Having it open for too much longer was exposing it to too much bacteria, which was too risky. So after getting the horrific needle and all the drilling (2 hours all up!) I was patched back up and don't go back until next Friday. The anaesthetic was starting to wear off as she was putting in the filling, which she explained was because of the infection.

On a positive note, if the root canal is successful, I may be getting a new false front on my tooth too! One of the 5th year students needs to do do some crowns in her last year, and I'm apparently a perfect candidate! I'll just have to pay the lab cost of about $300, but way better than a few thousand! Finally I'll have a normal looking tooth, not a discoloured ragged looking one - like it is now! It's currently got a very bad veneer on it, which doesn't go right to the top, so you can see part of the black tooth underneath. I've become quite attached to my dodgy, discoloured tooth though, but I'm sure I'll get over that once I'm all crowned up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've got orientation for Uni tomorrow. I was going to spend this week getting all the study organised and all the information about each subject printed off - but so many other things seemed to have come up. I'll find out more tomorrow about what I need to do before next week, then it'll be a busy weekend getting organised and no doubt nervous....

Score!!!

I haven't been op-shopping for a while, but the last few times, I've managed to score some fantastic bargains!!!

When Mum was up I scored a set of camping bunks for the kids, a gorgeous wicker chair and a new bed for Xav. Then last week, as I was heading to the dentist, I pulled into an op-shop in the suburb over and couldn't believe my eyes when I stumbled upon these:

I couldn't grab them quick enough, desperate to get them off the shelf before the other (non-existant!) customers snavelled them up. I didn't care how much they were, they were coming home with me regardless. It wasn't until I got to the lovely old man at the counter that I realised they each had stickers on the front with price tags ranging from 40 cents to 50 cents - Can anyone say BARGAIN!!!!! So I paid all up $4.00 for the above books.

They have taken pride of place on my bookshelf, waiting the perfect time to introduce them to the children. Grace has already chosen The Book of Fairies as the first one to read and I am just as eager to introduce her to Ms Blyton.

Busy weekend

We have had a great weekend, well except for the INTENSE pain I have been in since last night.

Friday afternoon we had a family photo shoot with the lovely Caroline from Mihaja Photography. The afternoon wasn't the best, we were hoping for some beautiful sunset shots, but the photos I have seen so far are just beautiful - I love them all! The kids loved it, Xav was hard to capture, but my little aspiring model was perfect. She loves the camera, loves being in front of it and poses perfectly. She's actually doing another photo shoot for Caroline next month, it'll involve lots of afternoon light, a white horse and a field up on Mt Tamborine. She can't wait, especially since finding out that a horse will be involved! She's announced to me last week that when she gets older and has a job, she wants to be a yoga teacher AND a midwife. Well, since the photo shoot, she has decided to add model to her career aspirations too.

After the shoot, I headed up to one of our favourite fish and chip shops in Palm Beach to get dinner and then we sat by the beach eating and swatting pesky mosquito's.

Saturday started bright and early, we headed up to Brisbane to visit the Mathilda markets and also to go to a 2nd Birthday Party. I've been wanting to visit these markets for ages, I love looking at all the beautiful one-off designs. This market was going to be extra special though, because I was going to meet one of my favourite Bloggers - the lovely Penny!

The markets are brilliant, and if I hadn't of left my damn wallet at home I would of spent lots of dollars. I did have free range on Duane's card though, so managed to pick up a few presents. One was from Frankie Rose, Penny's gorgeous clothing line. It was fantastic to meet her after following her blog for the last 2 years or so. I stumbled upon it through another blog I love (Hi Ave!) and once I realised that her oldest boy's name is Xavier Thomas too - I have been hooked! I love reading about her life with 3 gorgeous children, which although at times looks hard - still hasn't turned me off a 3rd! Penny is just gorgeous in real life, it's a shame we only got to have a quick chat as I could have easily spent the afternoon with her talking over a few glasses of wine. Next time!

After the markets we headed over to Hazel's 2nd birthday party. Hazel is one of the most beautiful little girls that I have even seen. She is so cherubic, with big brown eyes surrounded by the most stunning eyelashes, all topped of with a mop of curly brown hair. She is divine. Anyway, we were there to celebrate her 2nd birthday and also to meet her brand new little brother Felix! Renae and Anton certainly have the making cute babies thing down pat, Felix is just as adorable as his big sister.

It was a great morning of catching up, eating yummy food and cuddling a very sleepy newborn.

We headed home about 1.30pm and all crashed for a well deserved afternoon sleep. I made yummy san boy choi for dinner and we ate it outside, grateful for the cool breeze to break up the muggy afternoon. Just after I'd taken my last mouthful, my front tooth started spasming in excruciating pain. It was instantly unbearable, the pain was shooting and constant all at the same time. I was petrified that it was going to get worse, as it seemed to be more painful when I moved. I went straight to bed and sobbed to Duane to get me whatever painkillers we had, which turned out to be 2 panadeines. They made me spacey and gave me that crazy feeling of being outside my body, a normal reaction for me to codeine, but only dulled the pain - it was still there and throbbing. I went to bed, hoping that if I slept I wouldn't feel it, but every time I woke it was still sore and then I'd struggle to get back to sleep.

When I woke in the morning, my mouth felt tight and swollen and I was still in pain. I checked in the mirror and realised what all the pain had been last night, there was an abscess the size of a pea on my front gum - just above the tooth. I'm still not sure what happened, but I can only assume that the abscess has worked it's way out. It was huge, hot and painful and I was tempted to lance it myself to get some relief. I was nervous that it would hurt more though, so just kept my self drugged up for the day and if it wasn't better by Monday I'd head to the dentist. Well it burst last night, and I can't even begin to describe the revolting taste that was in my mouth when I woke. On a positive note, the pain was now more manageable.

As much as I am not looking forward to starting the root canal, surely the pain of that can't be any worse than the pain of an abscess? And then hopefully there will be NO more abscesses EVER.

Yesterday afternoon we went along to the Nursing students and families information session. I could barely talk or wanted to, considering I had a fat lip and a mouth issue that made me lisp and talk weird, but it was great to meet the lecturers and get a bit of a feel for the campus. We got to visit the lecture theatre, the tutorial rooms and the clinical rooms. Wow, the clinical rooms look like lots of fun! They are set up like a mini hospital, with plastic working dummies on each bed. Grace cracked up laughing each time she saw one, poking and prodding them at every opportunity. It was reassuring to realise that most people are in the same boat as me, not having studied for a long time, and were all just as anxious. We got to meet some 2nd year nursing students who did their best to make us realise that they too were once nervous and scared 1st year students, but managed to make it into 2nd year. I'm sure I'll fumble through, it just won't be without many stress outs. I'm also not sure how I'm supposed to fit the recommended 38 hours of study in each week, but apparently it's doable.

This is my last week before I'm a full-time student. I'm nervous, excited and anxious. I can't believe that after all this time out of school, I'm about to thrust myself back into rough drafts, all night exam revision and nervously waiting for results. Still doesn't feel real, so although I want this week to last forever, I'm looking forward to getting my first school week over with - preferably with me still relatively sane at the end!

Teeth and Tickers

Both kids are fully recovered from their sicknesses of last week. Thank Goodness....

Xav is no longer choking on his own cough and Grace is back to constantly eating, trying to regain the 2 kgs that she lost. She has not stopped eating since she rediscovered her appetite, filling up on 2-3 breakfasts and 2 servings of lunch and still wanting more! She's back to about 20kgs, so all that food is building back up her stores and filling her out nicely.

I took both kids along to the Dr yesterday, the hospital had requested that I take Grace as a follow-up and I wanted to re-confirm what to do when Xav gets asthma again. The lovely Dr Drew read over Grace's discharge notes and gave her a thorough check over. All was good, and the heart murmur that the paediatrician had detected had disappeared - where too I wondered?? Seems it was just stressed induced and not something that we need to worry about.

Next on to Mr Xav. He sat on the bed, following the lead of his big sister and raising his top for the chest checks, then taking big deep exaggerated breathes - very cute! Dr Drew asked how long Xav had his heart murmur for, to which Duane and I looked at each other surprised and answered in unison "Never!!"

Are heart murmurs contagious? How the hell does one of my children have one last week and then the other this week? They have both had their hearts checked before, so you'd think it would have been picked up before now. Anyway, Xav's is apparently quite loud and something that we should be following up. She's suggested we make an appointment for him in a month, then if it's still there she'll refer us on for ultrasounds and cardiograms. Let's hope his magically disappears within the month like Grace's did.

After the Dr's I then headed over to the Dentists. Yes, apparently we are destined to see the whole scope of medical professionals over this month. I've had some pain in my front tooth, mainly in the gum. It's not been unbearable like the last tooth pain I had - but enough to cause annoyance and the need for more creative ways to eat. It's tricky trying to bite into things without use of your front teeth, so it's been pre-cut food only for the last few weeks! I'd kinda written it off as just a gum problem, you see I've had a root canal on this tooth so figured that nothing else could be too wrong with it. Seems I know nothing at all about dentistry. After x-rays and a consultation, it appears that the pain I've been feeling is actually another bloody abscess and I'll be requiring another bloody root canal. Fun. What a fantastic way to spend my ever-increasingly precious time. I've been feeling pretty crappy lately, so no doubt it's the horrible infection running through my system.

Starting next Wednesday, after a course of antibiotics to rid the infection, I'll be fronting up for stage one of the root canal. It's done over 3-5 stages, over a few weeks. What a crappy clash of times, considering I am starting Uni in a little over a week.

The only bright side to all of this, is that once again I am taking full advantage of our wonderful public health system. Thanks to Duane's crappy Greenkeeper wage, we are lucky enough to have a health care card which gives free public dental. Normally there are long waiting lists but after going on a waiting list I was lucky enough to get a cancellation spot.

So, once my tooth is fixed up, that'll be our last medical visit for A LONG TIME 'ok?

Who compromises the most?

What happens if 1 partner is happy and content with 2 children, has absolutely no desire to have a 3rd, is ready to move on from nappies and nights of lost sleep BUT the other partner looks around and knows that there is a baby missing from the family pictures?

Who 'wins' this showdown?

Yep, we had the chat. No, it didn't go well. Yep, he is happy to not have anymore children. No, I am not happy to end my baby making days.

I see his point, I really do. I know that we are better of financially with only 2 children, but money is never going to fill that tiny place in my heart that I have reserved for my 3rd baby. I know that our house is small, it's an averaged sized 3 bedroom house with only the one bathroom. It's fine now, but as the kids get older I'm sure it'll get a little cramped - especially lining up for the toilet or waiting for Grace (or Xav!) to finish blow drying their hair. That also doesn't stop that lump at the back of my throat when I dare to think of never having another baby.

My heart rules my head on this one. No amount of practical thinking is going to override my overwhelming desire for a 3rd baby. But what do we do if Duane is so adamant that the baby making days are behind us? He's excited to move onto the next stages with the kids, they are both at great ages now and life is really easy.

I know that sooner or later all these things are going to have to be the very last, I can't keep having babies. Well, the Duggars did - but I highly doubt that if I can't convince Duane for 1 more, I'll never get another 16!

But right now, I can't imagine never feeling those first flutters, never tickling a little foot wedged under my ribs, never again waiting anxiously for the first signs of labour, never having my slippery and slick newborn put on my chest, never having milky night cuddles together, never watching my baby learn to toddle and never again celebrating a 1st b'day for one of my babies.

Of course, it's not just the lose of baby things that upsets me, It's just that these are bits that I would haven't have again from now. If I'm still aching for another child in 10 years time, I would be missing all the previous stages too. It's just right now, I know what it is like to have a newborn or toddler or preschooler so I'll miss that.

Maybe I just got him at a bad time? Maybe him actually saying Nope, all done no more was actually just a side effect from the lack of sleep?

My timing was all off, that's the problem! I shouldn't have approached the conversation as he tried to rest in the afternoon after a restless week of night wakings, what with Grace vomiting in the first half of the week and Xav coughing and wheezing the other - the poor guy is barely lucid! Oh, and next time I start nagging bring up the subject, I'll be sure that there aren't any kids around AT all - especially not a 2.5 y/o in the corner that has perfected the art of the most annoying tantrum.

It's not like I want the baby right now. I just need to know that within the next few years, there is a chance that another baby is coming our way.

Normally with Duane, I get my way most of the time. However, this is one thing I don't want to force. If he remains 100% comfortable with never having more kids, I think I'll have to give up my dream. Will that create resentment? I'm not sure. Will he resent me if he we do go ahead and have a 3rd, when he's already said he wants no more? I'm not sure.

Foster care is something else that I am considering. There is a serious lack of foster carer's and unfortunately way to many children need the services. I would love to be able to help in that way, even if it meant heartbreak in handing children back. The help we as a famiy could give to a child, would over ride any sadness we could ever feel. Anyway, something that I'll look into after I've settled into uni.

"You'll never regret the child you have" How much faith do we put in that reasoning?

If all else fails, I'll just have to resort to withdrawing all marital relations as ransom. Fair deal?

Mourning the midday sleep

Xav was a shocker of a sleeper as a baby.

His very first night on earth he screamed ALL.DAMN.NIGHT. I'm talking, loud screaming, from about 9pm until about 4am, I was exhausted from the birth and trying to settle him with lots of feeds and cuddles. In the end, Mum got him to sleep with her and I fell in a heap on the lounge room floor.

From about 1 y/o onwards though, he loved his sleep. Finally sleeping through the night at 16 months, when he stopped waking for a feed and has barely given us a bad night since. Well, except for the gazillion ear infections that he had - then it was more nights of screaming!

His day sleeps (since about 1 y/o) have been great. He is a little boy that understands his sleep needs, and would trudge off to his room and put himself to bed. All he'd need was his blankie and dummy and he'd settle in for a nice 2-3 hour nap. Bliss.

Well, that's what he used to do.


Last week I was getting him ready for his afternoon nap, but he was protesting saying that he didn't want to sleep. "Oh, don't be silly Xav, your body still needs a rest - C'mon lets go get blankie" I asked him as I nervously shuffled him up to his room.

That is when my little boy made a statement that very nearly sent me to the corner rocking - right then and there.

I'm not going to sleep in the daytime anymore. I'm only going to sleep at nighttime - when it is dark. He declared to me, quite matter of factly.

And he hasn't. Nope, seems this kid is a boy true to his word. He has had the occasional car sleep, but won't even transfer anymore.

NO, NO, NO, NO. This is not in my plan. The middle of the day is for ME, to do whatever I want. Grace has finally fine tuned quiet time, and potters around by herself - leaving me to do my own thing. Throw Xav into the mix and quiet time DOES NOT exist, more like fight, scream, yell and generally cause havoc time. See, not relaxing for ME at all.

*Sigh*

So, it seems there will be less of this:




And more of this:

Great, just great.

Second man down.....

We have spent the last few days recovering and resting. Grace is still tired and weak from her little ordeal, but mostly fine and it's still had to believe that it all happened.

Xav was a bit out of sorts yesterday morning, just a bit warm and grizzly. He just wanted to lay around and whinge about life in general, getting frustrated at the big things in life like the correct ratio of honey to weetbix for his breakfast - important stuff.

I was starting to think that maybe we were going to have another gastro patient, but nothing really came of it. His voice was getting raspy, and by the end of the day he was speaking with a crackled voice. It sounded cute, and we just figured he was getting a slight cold. Duane had been fighting off one for the last few days, so it wouldn't have surprised me if he did too.

Come night time, Xav started coughing. By 2am, his cough was hard and suffocating and he was gasping for air. Duane got his Ventolin and gave him 2 puffs, but it didn't seem to be relieving him as instantly as it has before. He calmed down after a few minutes and finally went back to sleep. He woke again at around 6am, once again with a horribly suffocating cough. He was distressed and gasping for air, in between coughs his breaths were short and quick and he was wheezing. We tried again with his Ventolin, and once again it wasn't given him instant relief. I called Medcall, and they sent a Dr out who was her within the half hour.

He checked him out and found that he had an upper chest infection and confirmed that the cough was most likely asthma. He gave him a script for redipred, which is a medicine for asthmatics that is supposed to be very effective in clearing up the cough quickly and also a dose of antibiotics to clear the infection. Poor little fella was mostly fine during the day, but tonight
he is back to struggling and wheezing again. He's in out bed tonight, just so we can keep an eye on him.

So, It'll be a double Dr's appointment next week. Grace has to have a follow up with the initial Dr we saw and Xav needs to go to get a management plan for his Asthma.

Geez, whatever happened about natural birth and extended breastfeeding being good for the gut and reducing asthma?

My kids are broken and falling apart!

Changing minds...

I have something that I have to admit. It's kinda hit me a bit from left field, and I'm still processing it myself.

If somebody had said I'd be thinking this, even as close as 2 weeks ago, I'd say they were nuts and must know absolutely nothing about me to come to that conclusion.

But. Things change, life happens and our experiences taint our future.

I'm thinking about doing the whole Bach of Nursing, and then doing Midwifery as Post grad. EEEEeeeeeeKKKKKK! !!!!!!

See, totally not expected right?

After being in hospital with Grace this week, I watched the nurses and pondered whether I could do their job. I'm not sure I'd want to work in emergency, but I can definitely see myself in paediatrics.

I've been thinking, that maybe not getting into Midwifery is actually a good thing? Crikey, did I just say that?????????????

Is this what they mean by everything happens for a reason? The Midwifery course was 2 weeks full time from the 1st Feb, and after everything that happened last week, I would of had to take it off anyway. Seems things really do work out for the best.

This doesn't mean that my absolute first passion isn't Midwifery, it still is. It's just that I'm thinking it might not be a bad idea to have a back up, something to turn too if the politics of birthing get all too much and I need somewhere else to go. I know that nursing, especially with babies/children will be stressful and sad, but I honestly think that it is something that I would enjoy.

So, at the moment, I've decided to do the 3 year Bach of Nursing and then do a post grad position to become a midwife. That would mean that I'll be paid for the Mid training and would end up being a registered Nurse and Midwife, and would allow me to then go on to study to be a Child health Nurse - another career I have considered.

I'd also be able to take on paid work as an assistant nurse from 2nd year onwards, which would help us financially. It would also fit well into my plans for another baby, as the nursing degree would be much more flexible in studying part-time and fitting in extra subjects over summer school. Duane and I need to have the him trying to convince me 2 is enough and me begging for a 3rd conversation, to work out when best a new little bubba will fit into our family.

So there it is. I've made the decision, and unless I start study and absolutely hate the nursing side of things - this is what I'll do. It also takes the pressure off having to study full-time this year in order to get a good enough score to get into Mid. I'm still going to attempt full-time, but if in the first few weeks I find it way too much, I'll pull out of 1 or 2 subjects before census date.


Of course this decision has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the crazy amount of ridiculously good looking and endearing Dr's we met on our travels. No way, not at all - I'm way to deep and non-superficial for such thoughs. If that was the case, Duane would be signing up for study - he was the one in the end rating the hotness of Mc Sweet, Mc Steamy and Mc Charming.......

Grace's trip to Hospital

As I sit here at quiet time, watching Grace snipping off strands of curling ribbon and taping them on to everything, I can't believe that less than 24 hours ago, she was the sickest either of my children had ever been and I got given a lesson on how helpless you really are when this happens.

Wednesday came around and I was starting to think that she was on the mend from the continual vomiting and lethargy that had plagued her for the previous 2 days. She tends to get over vomiting bugs by the morning of day 3, so if she wasn't better by then I was going to take her to the Dr. I made her appointment for 2.20pm, so that Duane would be home from work and I wouldn't be stuck carrying Grace and dragging along Xav.

She still spent the morning laying on the couch, but by about 1pm had seemed to perk up a little, and so I asked her if she wanted something to eat. She said yes, so I rummaged through the pantry and found a milk arrowroot biscuit for her to munch on. She gobbled it straight up, which at the time seemed like a good sign. She'd also spent the morning drinking water, eating ice-chips and attempting to eat the hydralyte icy poles - but mostly refusing them.

Duane came home, we woke Xav and then headed down to the Dr surgery. My normal Dr wasn't on that day, so we got to see another that I hadn't met before. He had a good look over her: checking her eyes, ears, mouth, temp and having a feel of her tummy. He told me that she was starting to dehydrate, and although I had been doing everything right, she may need to get extra fluids as she was obviously loosing them faster that she could keep them down. I started to feel terrible that I hadn't brought her in earlier, but he reassured both Duane and I that we hadn't come too early or too late - just at the right time. He hurriedly wrote a referral to the hospital, which he later explained was because the surgery was about to have all the power switched off due to trouble with the electricals caused by the excessive rain from the previous week.

Literally moments after the referral left the printer, all the lights went off and the surgery had to close for the day.

After the examination, Duane picked Grace up again,where she promptly vomited up milk arrowroot biscuit over him, the floor, herself and the bed.

So after being given strict instructions by the Dr to head straight to Robina hospital, we quickly dropped home for a change of clothes for Duane and Grace and to grab Xav's things for an afternoon at Trude's house. I also threw in a playschool Dvd to keep him happy and his Pj's and blanket in case everything took a little longer than we thought.

Grace was still looking ok, not fantastic, but luckily she didn't vomit the whole trip. I was a little worried, but didn't really understand the enormity (to us who have never had to take the kids to hospital before) of what was happening.

I remember looking over at Grace in the back, and saying to Duane that she looks a lot better and maybe she wouldn't even need the drip. Wrong.

We parked the car, Duane put a towel on his shoulder in readiness for another vomit. She did vomit, but managed to contain it to the towel on her lap and all through her hair and on her nightie. After a quick clean up and change, we headed in to emergency. I was expecting to have to wait for ages, but by that stage she was starting to look very ill, and they put us straight into the nurse.

The nurse asked us to pop her on the scales, where she weighed in at 18.9 kgs - 2 kgs less than her normal weight. I know that she was this too, after weighing her just the other day. Duane then layed her on the bed whilst the nurse did all her checks. Grace was not responding to anything, just laying there completely still and looking absolutely shattered. The nurse tried getting her to talk, asking her what food she would really like to eat - chocolate cake maybe? Nope, she wasn't interested in anything. The nurse agreed that she was severely dehydrated, so took us through to a bed on the emergency ward.

This is when things got a little scary. We had just put her on the bed, when she started vomiting uncontrollably. This vomit was completely different from anything she had done before, and a passing Dr came straight over to look. It was a murky, green colour and smelt and looked like poo. I found out later that this was a very worrying colour as its the end of the stomach lining and the contents is part of the bowels coming up, and it can also be a sign that the bowel is obstructed.

We had a lovely Dr assigned to us, who had a quick check over Grace and then started his sentence with "You have a very sick little girl......" He then explained that they would need to get a cannula straight into her with fluids and an anti-nausea medication put in to stop the vomiting. He did her blood sugar level, which was normal (4.5) and said that when they were putting in the cannula they would take some blood to be tested.

All this time Grace was floppy and just laying on the bed, unable to even move her head. She was looking sicker and sicker, and I was desperate for them to get fluids in and hopeful that the fluid would do it's job to hydrate her. Duane and I held her hand whilst 3 Dr's and a nurse stood on the other side of her trying to get a vein. I wasn't watching, but I could tell from their faces and words that they were having a lot of trouble getting the cannula in. She was so dehydrated that her veins were not cooperating, just collapsing under the stress. It was also made harder as they had to put a larger cannula in, to be able to put high amounts of fluid through. The next day I checked her arms, and realised that they had tried on the inside of her elbow and 3 times on the top of her hand, finally getting one in on her hand.

When they tried the first time, she screamed. It was the first sound she had made for ages, and so heartbreaking to hear. She had a moniter on, and as they were trying to get it in, her pulse starting going crazy. Her eyes starting rolling around and she was going in and out of consciousness. The dr's couldn't see as she was facing away from them, so I asked if she was ok. They then realised that she had gone into shock and had to take the cannula immediately out whilst they tried to bring her back. That was scary. Watching her, as she layed there looking so sick and yet so peaceful as she passed out. The Dr's explained that she had gone into shock from the pain and they tried frantically to get her to come back around. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she opened her eyes.

They they quickly tried to get the cannula in again, eventually getting it in. She was then hooked up to the Iv and started on 200ml per hour of fluid, this was to go for 4 hours. I stayed with her for 2 hours, whilst she slept. During this time she was woken as she had to go for an x-ray, she was still lethargic and not caring what was done to her. The radiologist suggested we try to get the x-ray by herself, but if she was upset, one of us could hold her, but she was so out of it that she just layed there in the room by herself whilst the x-ray was done and Duane and I watched from behind the glass.

One of the lovely Dr had explained to us that the fluids would hopefully pick her up and then they could get a better idea of what was causing the vomiting and stomach cramps. There was talk of either appendix or bowel obstruction/telescoping. We had a million questions asked as they tried to work out what was wrong. Student Dr's came and visited and did the questions again, trying to rule out everything. The x-ray didn't show anything abnormal, except a fully loaded bowel.

We were told that we would be staying until she had been given 800 mls of fluid and was showing great improvement, and to be prepared to be staying overnight. Whilst she was sleeping, I left her with Duane and headed home. The hospital was absolutely freezing, so I wanted to get some warm clothes for all of us and also some comforts for Grace: dolly, her blanket and pillow. I also wanted to be close to Trudy's house in case Xav wouldn't settle for the night, I was also worried about how he would go considering it was his very first time staying at someone else's house and his first night away from me. I needn't have bothered worrying though, he had Trude wrapped around his finger and was having a great time at his sleepover. He was fine, going to bed easily and sleeping in his own bed all night until 7am the next morning.

Anyway, I headed to subway to get dinner for Duane and I - and cookies for stress relief. I'd just got the message from Trude to say that Xav was settled and happy, and was heading back to the Robina hospital. I got a call from Duane, but the reception from the hospital is not great, and he kept breaking up. The only part of the conversation that I heard was going by ambulance to other hospital, meet us there...... and then the phone went dead. I desperately tried to call him back, but it continually went to message bank. I started crying, not sure what the hell was happening. I'd just left her and she was fine, but I was automatically thinking the worst. I knew that Robina doesn't have facilities for children, but they did have an area that children could stay overnight if nothing was serious.

I drove straight to the hospital, trying to hold back the bad thoughts. I got a park out the front (by this time it was close to 9pm) and raced up to the children's ward on the 5th floor. It was all quiet, and none of the staff knew anything about Grace coming over. One of the lovely nurses could see me, loaded up with stuff for an overnight stay and looking upset, and said she'd take me down to emergency as that is where they would be. I finally got hold of Duane and he said there was a line up of ambulances and they were waiting on the ramp for the line to clear. I was put into the waiting room, to wait for her to come in. I Still wasn't sure what was going on. Finally, she was brought into emergency and I was allowed in. Duane quickly told me that the pead over at Robina had felt a lump in her abdomen and wanted her to have an urgent ultrasound to see if it was a bowel problem. Grace was starting to look better, which was fantastic.

A sonographer was called in and we went in for her ultrasound. Everything was checked over, and nothing showed up, so the lump was put down to a large amount of poo that was stuck.

Because she was so dehydrated, her body had been searching for water and extracted it from her poo which in turn had made her constipated. She was asking for food at this stage and reaching out to Duane and I as we munched on our soggy subway, which was a fantastic sign - but unfortunately she wasn't allowed to have anything yet. She still hadn't weed since midday (10 hours later) and 800ml of Iv fluids, so we took her into the toilet to wee and get a sample. Her aim was a little off and she sprayed all over my trackies and foot, but she laughed which was worth it to hear. I swapped the bright yellow wee with the pead who had a some bright yellow jelly for Grace, fair exchange!

We had another fantastic pead, who explained to us that although they couldn't find anything wrong, he was reluctant to just say it was gastro, because of the absence of diarrhea and the amount/colour of bile in her vomit. He said that he wanted to admit her for the night and recommended that she had an enema to clear the bowels. By this stage, she was asleep so I asked if we could wait until she woke to do the enema. I knew that this would traumatise her, even more than everything that had happened previously. She didn't remember anything else, she was way too out of it. However, she was lucid now and would have definitely resisted. He agreed to that and then we were taken up to our room on the children's ward. He also picked up a heart murmur, which he said could have just been brought on by the stress or something that she has always had. Duane and I both had ones as children, so nothing really to worry about, but he advised we get it checked out anyway. He also noted that her iron stores are excellent, way above they need to be - great considering she doesn't eat red meat!

It was midnight by now and as only one parent was allowed to stay the night, Duane was sent home. He looked exhausted and as there is no way that I was leaving my little girl - he was the one nominated to go. I settled Grace in for the night, with dolly tucked in beside her and made up the sofa bed for myself. We both slept relatively well, only stirring when the nurse came in to do her obs. Grace woke about 6am, and I hopped in bed with her and we cuddled and talked about what had been happening. She was 1000 times better - talking, laughing and begging for something to eat.

I got her some custard and juice, which she eagerly gobbled up and requested more food. The pressure was on now to get her bowels working so that an enema could be avoided. I explained to her, without trying to frighten, that she needed to poo or the Dr's were going to put some medicine up her bottom to get her to go. I slipped out to the tea room to make her a weak, milky cup of tea, in the hope that the warmness of it would be the encouragement she needed. By the time I had gotten back, there was a visitor - Pop had overcome his fear of hospitals and was in to visit bright and early at 7am!

The nurse asked once again if she could go ahead with the enema, but I was still very hopeful that food, drink and movement would get things going, so asked for another half hour. She was fine with this and said that the Dr's would be doing their rounds at about 8.00 anyway, and it could be done then.


After eating the rest of her breakfast, we decided to get her up and walking. Poppy and I each had an arm, as she was still quite wobbly. She was still very weak and went clammy a few times, but managed to walk around the corner into the play room, dragging her iv behind her. We had a little shuffle around the room and then set up at the window, waiting to see Daddy and Xav coming up the entrance. Duane had headed round to The Dews to pick Xav up, who was happily munching on porridge with sultanas and honey. Actually I should note here that Trudy spoilt him with yoghurt as dessert, which although is not an unusual after dinner treat - there were marshmallows! So now Xav is insisting that we buy marshmallows from the shop for our yoghurt!

After a while, we saw Daddy and Xav trudging up the driveway. Grace lit up as soon as she saw her little brother, she had definitely missed being away from him and was excited to tell him all about her ambulance ride. Xav was equally thrilled, although I'm sure his excitement was more directed at all the machines and buttons in the room.




Xav was getting a bit rowdy and had too much energy to be stuck in the confines of a hospital room, so Poppy took him out to the park until we knew what was happening with Grace. This was also a milestone for Xav AND Poppy, it's the first ever time that he has taken one of the children. Hopefully something that can happen again soon!

We were still on "project poop" with Grace, hoping to avoid the alternative. Finally, after much coaxing she decided that she could give it a go. She sat, and sat, and sat and sat, and sat AND then finally I heard plonk! Gosh I have never been so excited to peer into a toilet!

Just as I was wiping the remnants from her bum, there was a knock at the door and 10 Dr's all walked in. She had performed, just in the nick of time!!

So, another gorgeous (they were all HOT!) Dr went over her file and tried to work out what was wrong. He was happy with how she looked, although still a little yellow, but was still worried about the bile she was vomiting. All her tests were ok, she had some low white cells - but nothing else too worrying. The ultrasound didn't show anything bad, neither did the x-ray. She was responding well to the fluids, so the only thing they could put it down to was viral gastro, that she had become dehydrated from causing compaction of the bowel and constipation. We were told that if she stopped eating or drinking or sick again, she was to come straight back in.

The student Dr's that were doing a rotation in Pead's, came over from the Robina hospital to visit and see how she was. Both of them were amazed at how quickly she recovered and how well she looked compared to when they saw her yesterday.

We packed up our stuff and headed home, then spent the rest of the afternoon lazing around inside. After getting a bit sick of being stuck inside, we set up a bed outside on the grass and Grace and I layed there reading books whilst the boys mowed the lawn. She perked up a lot that night, and has been eating & drinking fine since.


Although in the end it was just gastro, it was still a traumatic experience for all of is. Having your child look so ill is absolutely terrifying. Seeing them lay there, all energy gone and just a shadow of the exuberant child that you know is heartbreaking. Watching them in obvious pain and being stuck with needles, and only being able to offer hugs and kisses, makes you feel so, so helpless. It sure gives you a huge dose of sympathy for parents of children that are really ill, and the poor children themself. I am just so grateful for our wonderful public health services, I could not fault anything or anyone. They were all amazing and just as eager as us to get Grace all better again.

Through all of this my Mummy radar is still beeping. I'm still wary that there is something else. It just doesn't seem right to me that the same thing has happened here and here, and it's supposedly a gastro bug that only seems to affect Grace. We've had gastro before, and usually it gets shared around, but these 3 times Grace has been the only one to be sick. Also, she only vomits - never having diarohea. The 2 peads we spoke to both agreed that this was strange, normally with gastro there is some amount of diarohea. I know that she definitely doens't eiither, she alsways calls me to wipe her bum when she poos and even if she didn't we'd see the remnants as she always forgets to flush the toilet. All the tests are clear though, so nothing else can be done. But, if it happens again - and even more so if it's soon - I'll be pushing for more answers. Maybe she is just a kid that will be prone to picking up all the bugs, maybe everyone else's immune systems are better and hers is a little low? I'm going to take her to a naturopath and see what would be good at helping avoid them as much as possible.

Sick Grace

My poor little Grace is sick.

It started yesterday morning as we were rushing around getting ready to take Nanny to the airport. Grace wasn't her usual perky self when she woke and just wanted to lay on the couch. She wasn't talking and kept saying that her head was sore.

I knew that something was up as she is normally so happy and chatty, butwe still had to get Nanny to the airport so I bundled her up in the car with a bucket and towel and off we headed.

She slept on and off in the car trip, then once we arrived at the airport she started crying. Nanny got to her in time, just as she vomited everywhere. She perked up a little after that, and still insisted on going in to see Nanny off. We popped her in the pram and headed in to the airport. We only stayed a bit, just to have a cuddle and say goodbye and then we headed home again.

All day yesterday Grace layed on the couch, moaning and vomiting. She slept in our bed last night, and thankfully had a good night with no spewing. She still isn't well today though and has spent the whole day on the couch moaning and vomiting. She cries if I move away from her and has asked that I keep one hand on her at all time, so I'm stuck on the couch too unless she falls asleep.

I'm worried about her dehydrating, but she will only have a suck on the hydralytle icy-pole and then doesn't want it. She is crunching on ice-chips and having sips of water, but most of this is coming back up again. Her only demands are whimpering for a constantly cold washer to hold on her head and her ice chips refilled. She's running a slight temp, but it's staying constant and hopefully the temp is doing it's job of burning out the nasty bacteria. She's stopped complaining of stomach cramps, and apart from the vomiting and listlessness, seems relatively comfortable.

I'm not really sure why she always gets the bugs that make her vomit. She's had this a few times now, where she gets sick but no-one else does, so I'm doubtful that it's gastro. I'll see how she goes over the rest of today, and if she doesn't seem to be getting any better I'll take her to the Dr. It's times like this where I'd love to be able to express a few cups of breast milk and feed it to her, it's magical stuff and wonderful to line empty sore bellies.

Xav is being awesome through all this. Probably due to the back to back episodes of playschool that he is enjoying! He is proving how self sufficient he really is; going off to the toilet by himself (only calling out for bum wipes!), helping himself to the fridge and pantry (he did find the stash of tiny teddies Nanny left though), selecting and changing over the playschool Dvd's and generally entertaining himself. It's bucketing down outside, so a lovely day to be relaxing at home watching movies and cuddling on the couch. I'm planning on watching Pride and Prejudice when Xav retires for his nap after lunch. Apart from that I'm spending lots of time on the couch, one hand on Grace and the other browsing the internet, trying to get everything organised for the 1st March...Eeeeekkkkk!

Back to school

I have been so slack with blogging lately. There's plenty to write about, but I've been busy and just haven't had the time or motivation to sit down and write.

Anyway, first things first. I'm officially enrolled as a Student Nurse. I'm still disappointed that it's not midwifery, but I'm just going to have to suck it up and move forward from that. I'm slowly getting excited about actually starting this journey, whilst quietly crapping my dacks about how I am going to manage. I'm kinda in denial about the enormous school load that I will have and the huge learning curve as I embark on tertiary study. I haven't studied for 10 years and that was a nice cruisy Tafe Diploma of Tourism. I can't even remember how to write an essay, let alone all the other formats for assignments and exams. To make it even worse, when you enrol in your classes you also have to enrol in your exams, so sitting nice and prominent on my Uni timetable is the days already blocked for exams. That's what really scares me. I remember the intense lead up to Exam time, full of late nights and junk food. I remember that being stressful without kids and no other responsibilities, throwing kids and a house into the mix is surely going to be C.R.A.Z.Y!

Also because I've only just enrolled, I was left with all the scrappy times for tutes/labs. It means I'm back and forth from the uni a bit, but it should work out ok with the kids. I go from 8-9 of a Monday morning and then again in the afternoon from 1pm-2pm. Although that sounds so spaced out and crappy, it's not too bad. I really wanted to keep going to the craft mornings up at the school, so having those hours means Wendy can come up of a morning and watch the kids, then I can come home and we can head up about 9.30am. After craft we will come home for lunch, put Xav to bed and then I'll head back out. Duane's home at 2pm, so he'll take over the kids and Wendy can head home. Tuesday I'll be at school from 1-4, and as Grace will also be at school I only have to work out Xav. I'm hoping that I can drop Xav at the Il's for a few hours which will give me some study time before uni and then once again Duane can pick up the kids after he finishes work. There are lectures on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday which are only for a few hours each day. I'm in the process of finding out if I can just watch them online, which would be awesome as I could be flexible when I watched them.

I've still got a fair bit to sort out between now and the start date of 1st March. Blue card, police check, needles and CPR. I also have to organise books and stationary and might even treat myself to a special stethoscope! All nurses need one right?

~~Beautiful sunrise at Lennox~~

Apart from spending the last few weeks bitterly disappointed with missing out on Mid, We've been having a great time with Mum visiting. We spent 4 nights camping down at Lennox Heads which was fantastic. There were lots of lazy, hot days spent floating around in the tannin stained lake.

Our camp site this time was in a nice little corner, between plenty of kids around for Grace and Xav to play with. They spent most of their time scootering around the park, doing chalk drawings on the concrete and generally running amok during the day and crashing in exhausted heaps of a night.


They made friends with the kids in the caravan beside us and spent most of the time playing in their caravan and annex. Good choice of friends too, they were in luxury in a massive air-conditioned Van with all the mod-cons. A bit of a novelty and step-up from out modest little tent set-up.


We spent one day up at Balngalow visiting the awesome markets and the beautiful park by the river. It was a stinking hot day though, so only enough time for a quick look through before buying a homemade icy-pole and heading over to the cool, shady park.



The weather was beautiful, but hot on some days so we set up on the lake and spent the hottest part of the day down there. It's a lovely shaded spot, perfect for the kids to paddle in the water whilst the adults took turns watching and reading books. The kids also had their sleeps down there, on little made up beds inside the shade tent. Gave the adults time for a snooze and time to read or tackle crosswords.

We had a delicious and decadent breakfast one morning over at the surf club. Duane had a big hot breakfast, whilst the rest of us had a feast of banana pancakes with ice-cream and maple syrup. YUMMO!

On the way home, we stopped at Brunkswick Heads for THE best calamari and chips in the world, serious. It is just divine and Duane and I have even considered taking a day trip down just for lunch.

~~Yummy calamari and hand made chips~~

Mum's heading home tomorrow morning, so no doubt it will take a while for me and the kids to get back to just us again. It's been great having an extra pair of hands to wrangle the munchkins. on a daily basis. Duane and I have also made good use of the in-house nanny service, managing to go out for dinner one night and the movies another. I'm not sure it's been much of a break for Mum though, she's been dragged around to all our daily activities, which usually incolve more noisy children! She'll no doubt need some kid-free time when she goes home to recover!

The kids are going to miss her though. I've been able to get back to Tassie at least once a year for the last 4, but I'm really not sure when I'll next be able to get down. Time wise it's hard, but it's also getting hard financially considering we have to pay for both kids now. It's an expensive trip for all of us to travel down, much cheaper for me to just pay for Mum to come up. I'm not sure when she'll come up next though, hopefully with not too big a gap!