The birth of Jasper James

**This is my account of Jasper's birth, and I've tried to remember it with as much detail and accuracy as possible.

I was privileged to have been asked to be a birth support person for Trude and Murray as they welcomed their little boy into the world. To say I was overjoyed to hear they were to be parents and also that I was going to witness that, would be an understatement! I was thrilled for them both, but couldn't even begin to describe to them the amazing experience they were both going to have - starting with pregnancy, birth and then being a parent and feeling the most intense love there is.

Trude had given a few hints out that she might be trying soon, but I was still so surprised when she let me know that she was "with child"! We were going for our usual walk up to the outlook, and about halfway up Armstong way she let it slip that she was actually pregnant! I can't remember my exact reaction, but it did involve jumping, excitement, hugs and lots of congratulations. It wasn't until after my little outburst we noticed one of Trude's work mates walking dangerously close to earshot. As Trude was going to be waiting to announce the fabulous news to work, we were hoping that my screaming and yelling didn't give the secret away.

It took a while for Trude to get the noticeable baby bump. Once it was there, her belly popped though, she looked glorious - a very beautiful pregnant Mumma! She had a few troubles through the pregnancy, mainly with her wrists which got quite inflamed with a condition called Dequerveins Tenosynovitis. She was in a lot of pain and although she tried lots of different treatments, the pain insisted. Trude was worried that it would make it hard with a newborn and not being able to grasp or hold anything, but fortunately it eased up after the birth. She looked wonderful though, and glowed right the way through.

~~Trude at 19 weeks~~

I'd been not so subtle in my praise of the Birth Centre and after lots of nagging on my part, Trude went ahead and booked in. My Midwife at the BC had actually met Trude before, both at one of my antenatal appointments and also at Xav's birth which Trude photographed. I did put a good word into my Midwife Tracey, who found Trude's application and keenly put her on her list of women that she'd be caring for. This was a big thing for Trude, to be preparing for a natural birth, she'd previously toyed with the idea of an elective cesarean. I was hoping that by having her at my birth, she'd see that it could be amazing and intense - but doable.

It was about half way through her pregnancy that I was asked to be at her birth as support person. To say I was honoured and thrilled was an understatement! For someone to ask me to be there as they share that magical journey to parenthood is a sentiment that I'll always hold dear. I'd just been to the birth of Miss Lucie, and I was eager to do it all again with a new little soul entering the world

Trude was due on the 26th July, but all through the pregnancy she was convinced that she'd go over. She was also hoping to avoid the plethora of birthdays at the end of July and early August and had secretly hoped for a birthday of 07/08/09 - 12 days over. I really didn't think she'd make it to this day, but it seemed baby Jasper had other plans.....

The 07/08/2009 came and went with no signs of a baby coming. On the 8th August Trude had a few niggles, accompanied with some old brown blood. Trude wrote the pains off to constipation, but I was sure that something was going to happen. I spent the night tossing and turning, with my mobile right under my pillow expecting the call.

The 9th August was Noah's baptism, and Trude had thought all along that she'd be heading off to the church proudly showing off her newborn baby. Instead she just went along tired and starting to get frustrated that things hadn't started yet, but still doing remarkably well for a heavily pregnant woman. We went to Fasta Pasta for lunch, where Trude mentioned that she was getting a few niggles, but once again nothing eventuated from them. After lunch, we headed to the hospital where Trude was going to have her first stretch and sweep done. After the internal Tracey told us that she was 1cm dilated, however her cervix was still 1cm thick but had started to ripen. After the S & S, she had monitoring for half hour, which just showed that baby Jasper was happy and comfy on the inside.

That night she once again started having contractions, but this time they were consistently 5 minutes apart. They came regularly over 45 minutes, but then fizzled into nothing. Once again, I spent the night expecting a phone call and was shocked to wake up in the morning in my own bed.

On the 10th August (40+15) Trude, Murray and I headed into the hospital for an ultrasound (Biophysical scan) to check out a few things. Dr Justin Nasser, who is the Ob who oversees the BC, was the one doing the scan. The scan showed that everything on the inside was still functioning perfectly. There was still lots of amniotic fluid, baby Jasper was beginning to start his practice breathing and the cord and placenta was functioning brilliantly. The only thing out of the ordinary was a light spot on the bowel, which may indicate that Jasper had pooed inside. Trude's placenta was also showing gritty spots, which is quite normal for the gestation and it just means slight calcification of the placenta. Justin estimated the weight at 8lb 2oz (3.8kg) with a 32cm head. The Ob wasn't worried about anything that he had saw and was happy for Trude to wait until Wednesday (40+17) for induction. After the scan we headed up to the delivery suites for routine monitoring. There was a student Midwife who after palpating declared that bubs was fully engaged, however as we'd seen his little head in the scan we knew this wasn't right. Another midwife double checked and sure enough he was still quite high. The Midwife also performed another stretch and sweep in the hope to get things happening.

Once again it was a boring night, with no signs of a baby. Trude and I spent the evening on msn,

chatting about everything and both hoping that "tonight's the night". Nothing eventful happened though, and Trude was starting to get a bit teary and upset that she hadn't gone into labour yet. She knew by 14 days over she wouldn't be in the birth centre rooms, so the chance of a waterbirth was now out the window. Now she was just praying and hoping that labour started before she had to be induced.

Tuesday the 11th August (40+16) rolled around, and still no positive signs of labour. We headed into the hospital for Trude's daily monitoring and another attempt at getting things rolling with a stretch and sweep. 12.30pm we had the appointment and once again Trude was 1cm dilated with not much change from the previous day. Monitoring once again showed a happy baby who was enjoying the womb a bit too much! We all were hoping for an 11th hour start to labour, thinking that maybe the threat of induction would be enough to nudge things into gear. But, once again it was a quiet night on the birthing front and so it was off to the hospital bright and early for the beginning of induction.

Trude and Murray picked me up at 6.30am on the 12th August. There was an air of excitement as we headed into the hospital, knowing that the next time Trude would be in the car it would be with a brand new baby! Trude was calm and collected on the outside, but I don't doubt that she was a bundle of nerves on the inside. It as a day that we all didn't think would happen, she was 17 days over due! It was only a few months prior that Nicole had gone to 13 days over and we weren't expecting Trude to beat that. We got to the hospital and Trude was put on the bed and had her first lot of prostiglandin gel inserted. The gel is used to soften the cervix and hopefully kick start her into labour. After monitoring (Jasper all happy!) we went for a walk down to the grassed area below the hospital. We spent some time doing crosswords and discussing the merits of correct punctuation and grammar. Trude gave us a lesson on the correct context to use "-", ":" and ';". It was conversation for the sake of it, all of us with our minds on the job ahead and the excitement of a new little one joining us (hopefully) soon. There was a woman who came into the area and lit a smoke, but after 3 lots of glaring faces concentrating on her, she rightly moved on. Trude was pacing around and starting to feel some low period pain that was coming and going. Nothing too painful, but a good sign that the gel was doing something to her cervix.

1.30pm, and the next lot of prostiglandin was put in. After the obligatory monitoring, we headed to do some laps of the stair well. Trude powered along in front, whilst Murray and I struggled bringing up the rear. After a few goes, our legs were all jelly so we retreated back to Trude's room/bed and pigged out on chocolate slice. For the last week of so, Trude had been having a baking frenzy and was making chocolate slice daily. Every day she made one, thinking that it would be something nice to offer visitors when they came to visit the baby and her - but when the days came and went, with no baby - so did the chocolate slice. So we spent the afternoon in her room, eating the celebratory slice and doing crossword puzzles together. Trude was still getting period pain, but she said they were not painful. Yet. We joked that maybe she was a freak who didn't experience any pain with birth, hoping that she was silently dilating.

8.30pm rolled around and it was time for more gel and monitoring. Her cervix was softening and shortening, but hadn't dilated past 1 cm. After the monitoring we headed back up to her room, and as it looked like nothing much had started happened, Murray and I were sent home under the proviso that if ANYTHING happened, we were to be called immediately. It was a teary farewell, Trude was overcome with emotion and started to get upset that we had to go. It had been a overwhelming few weeks, and to get to this point and then it felt like we were abandoning her - it was awful. She was upset and crying, and apart from feeling sorry for her, I actually thought this might be a good sign. She'd held it together for so long, but now everything was coming out and I was hoping that this release of emotion was a sign that things were imminent.

Murray and I left at about 11pm, and on the car ride home I joked that we'd probably just get home to bed and get the call. After being awake since 6am in the morning, we were both exhausted and nearly falling asleep on the way home. Well, just as we were driving up Alexander Drive, I received a text from Trude to say that her waters had broken. We stopped at my house, and Murray called her to find out what was happening. She said that she'd just got into her clean Pj's, when she felt a pop and water trickle down her leg. Considering we were all ready to pass out from exhaustion only minutes ago, adrenaline kicked in and we were wide awake and ready to go!

Wendy was at my house, she'd come up to stay the night so she could be with the kids when Duane went to work in the morning. Murray and I had a drink and something to eat, and then headed back to the hospital. When we got there the cranky night staff on the post-natal ward, wouldn't let us in. We had a quick chat to Trude and she was doing well, starting to get some more painful feelings. Murray stayed with her and I went into the tea room and had a lay on the couch. It was only for 10 minutes or so, when Murray came out and said she getting more contractions. I asked the night midwife if we could get her down to the delivery suite, but she said that they were full and Trude would have to stay up here until a room became available. I found a fit ball for her and she sat beside the bed on it for a bit, but found the pressure really uncomfortable. Trude paced around in the hall for a bit, but was starting to get really agitated and upset.

The cranky midwife suggested she have a shower, so we set up the shower and she spent some time in there. I called Trace to let her know what was happened, and she said to let her know when things were progressing and she'd come in. Trude was in the shower for an hour or so, but then started to get really hot and clammy and just wanted to get down to the delivery suites. Murray helped her get dressed and when they came out (about 1.25am), I told them both to head down to delivery and I'd decoy the cranky midwife. I loitered up there for a bit, and she came out to ask where Trude was. I just played dumb, saying that I thought she was still in the shower. After a few minutes I left and headed downstairs too. Meanwhile, Trude had taken it upon herself to just head into the delivery suites and find an empty room. We found out later that there was actually someone outside waiting to come in, and Trude had taken her room. Worked out good for us though, as we go the BC overflow room which is set out much nicer and also has a double bed, fridge and microwave.

Trude immediately went to the bed and got on her hands and knees. I'd bought along some heat packs, so I started getting them ready in the microwave. Own of the midwives came in and we told her to call Trace, which she wasn't too impressed with - so I did. She also scolded us for using the microwaveable heat packs insisting that we had to use these horrid clay packs only. Apparently, it was a health and safety issue. We nodded, but continued to heat up the ones we had.

This is the part of the labour that I love the most. The lights were dimmed and just the noise of a labouring women. Trude was doing wonderfully, breathing through the contractions and just resting between. She stayed all the time on the bed, on all fours and resting her head on the bed head. She had a bit of a show at this time, which was promising and showed that her cervix was opening and doing it's job.

Trace joined us at about (FIND OUT TIME!), and it was so lovely to have her calm and serene presence. Trude was still doing fantastically, to me as an onlooker, she was handling everything so well and just going with it.

At about 2.45pm, she asked for the gas. Her contractions were coming sporadically: all of them either 4mins, 3mins or 2 mins apart - but lasting for 45-60secs. She was still doing fantastic, but was wanting something to take the edge off as she was starting to stumble through each one. She started the gas, and after a quick lesson from Trace on how to use it effectively, she was in heaven! Trude loved the gas, it seems to give her something to concentrate on and allowed her to really focus on her breathing and making it through each contraction.

Murray was supporting her wonderfully, although sometimes his suggestion that it would over in 5 minutes or so, maybe wasn't appropriate. Apart from that, he was rubbing her back, holding back her hair and offering encouraging words. I was on heat pack duty and was holding one on Trude back and also on the base of her belly, as she was getting lots of pain there. I also massaged her back and was keeping her hydrated with sips of water and ice chips to suck on.

In between contractions, she mentioned that she was getting lots of pressure in her vagina. She was doing beautifully with the contractions, but the feeling of pressure was really frustrating her. At 3.20am, I suggested that she tried the shower as she was starting to find it hard to get comfortable on the bed. She tried on the fit ball in the shower, but the pressure in her vagina made it too uncomfortable, so Trace got some mats to put down. Trude tried these, but hated it. She kept saying that she was scared of slipping, and at one stage did.

She stayed in the shower, on her hands and knees, for a bit longer. Trace came out and mentioned to me that she hadn't weed for over 3 hours, and she was going to try to get her to either do it in the shower or go to the toilet. Trude had some more show in the shower.

The bathroom was quite small, so I stayed out in the room, whilst she was in the shower. She kept saying that the pressure was still there, which made me a little excited that maybe things were progressing faster than we though. She was focusing well, but having moments of doubt and by this stage Trude was starting to get frustrated and exhausted. As I sat in the room, I wrote a few things she was yelling for her the read later:

"I want my baby out NOW"

"I can't do this......"

"I just don't like it"

"He's heads not coming out"

"He could be hours, and I don't have hours"

"I'm exhausted"

I can't remember what time she came out of the shower, but she wasn't in there for long. She didn't find it relieving at all, and much preferred being on her hands and knees on the bed - which is what she went back to.

At 4am she asked for an epidural. She was getting quite dehydrated, even though she'd been keeping the fluid and ice chips up. We started her on the Gatorade and insisted she had something to drink in between every contraction. Trace also mentioned that Bubs was starting to get tired, probably from Trude starting to dehydrate. We questioned her lots of times as to whether she really did want the epidural, and she insisted that yes she did, saying "They all said to go the epidural and now I believe them" Trace said that she'd get it organised, but asked if she could do an internal first just to see how far along she was.

I watched and waited, wishing on everything that Trude would be close to fully dilated and be closer to meeting her baby. Trace told me beforehand that she didn't expect her to be very far along, based on the contractions - although nice and strong, they were still quite sporadic. She said she was guessing maybe 3, but she'd be really happy with 4. Imagine her surprise when she was 5 cms - Wahoo!! Awesome news and Trude was doing so fantastic. Trace said she did feel a huge bag of waters at the front, so what had broken earlier must have been the hind waters. She thought this might have been the cause of all the pressure that Trude was feeling, so grabbed an amnio hook and broke the waters. There was old meconium in the water, which she wasn't worried about but said she'd have to organise a resus trolley for birth just in case.

Trace went out and organised for the anesthetist to come for the epidural, but unfortunately there was going to be a wait. A nurse came in and put a cannula in Trude's arm, ready for the epidural. Trace set her up with 1 bag of Iv fluids, as she was still showing signs of dehydration. Trude really relaxed knowing that the epidural was on it's way. She never complained or asked for it to be hurried, just taking each contraction one at a time and coping wonderfully.

At 5.30am, and still with no epidural, Trude screamed out "I need to push" Now, this got me so excited as I really thought that she was going to be sitting up proud with her new baby, just as the anesthetist arrived in for the epi. Once again, I was hoping that needing to push was a good sign, and not just because bubs was in a posterior position - somewhere he had been for a few weeks now and can cause premature pushing. She joked with me, saying "Anytime you want to swap Kiks, feel free" I would have too, watching her in labour was making me crave it for myself.
At 6.20am, Trace did another internal. Trude was 6-7cm's, which was wonderful progress! Bubs head was right down, but Trace had trouble trying to work out what position he was in. She told us that she could feel lots of hair, which was very exciting as it meant he was so close.

Trude was becoming exhausted and pleading for a rest. She was napping between contractions, but all those days and nights of no rest were starting to catch up. She was buggered and wanted just an hours rest to gain some energy and then go again. The aneathetist (Stuart) finally arrived at 6.30 and the epidural was put in. Trude sat on the side of the bed, trying to remain as still as possible. Murray wasn't very keen on watching, so he sat down and waited, whilst I sat in front holding on to Trude and keeping her steady. Stuart was fantastic though and got it in perfectly the first time. Just after it went in Trude started getting a bit shaky, and there was a slight drop in her blood pressure - but still within normal limits. Bub's was being monitored all the time, and he was cruising along perfectly the whole time - happy little boy!

This is where things got a little weird/strange. The lights were back on and the wonderful mood and labour atmosphere from before was broken. It felt like everything was over, but not. Trude was out of "labour land" and back to reality - but without a baby! It felt very strange to be sitting around and not having anything to do, as Trude was now hooked up to all sorts of machines. The syntocin drip was started at 12 units and then further upped to 24 units, to get the contractions more powerful as the epidural tends to slow down natural contractions. She was also on a blood pressure machine and continuous monitoring for bubs.

We spent the next 3 hours chatting, dozing and doing crosswords. Trude also took the opportunity to ask Murray to go up to her room on the postnatal ward to get her make-up bag. Yep, there she was in labour looking immaculate after doing her full face in the middle of painless contractions!

As Trude now had the epidural and syntocin, she had to have regular 4 hourly internals. At 10 am Trace did another one and said that she was 9cm with a ring of cervix left, but bubs was not in a great position. She was hoping that by noon she'd be fully dilated and ready to start pushing.
Trace was buggered, she herself was 7 months pregnant and needed to go home for a sleep and break. She scoured the delivery suites for another like minded midwife and came back with a lovely woman called Cassie. She was lovely and really sweet, a perfect addition to the team.

Trude was still doing really well. She still had movement in her toes, legs and right knee. Cassie thought it might be a good idea to try a few things to get bubs into a better position, as the Ob's were starting to circle. She knew of a technique which involved tilting the pelvis to hopefully get bubs from posterior to anterior, and therefore easier to birth. Cassie got Trude's bum propped up on a pillow and held her belly from behind and tried to lift it up and back down. She was very gentle doing this, and kept a constant check on bubs heartbeat to make sure that he was doing fine. He never missed a beat, behaving perfectly!

At 12.15pm Cassie did another internal and found not much change. Trude's cervix was still only dilated to 9cm with a ring of cercix still there. More of the amniotic fluid was draining out, still showing signs of meconium. There was some good news though, bubs head had come down and was not only 1/5ths above the pelvis.

The Ob on duty came in to visit at about 12.30, her name was Adriana. She came in to make an assessment about what had been happening. She was really kind and caring, and sat beside Trude on the bed to ask her about what had been happening. She asked if she could do another internal, which she said showed Trude was only 8-9cm, and her cervix was starting to swell. She also believed that the head was 2/5th's above the pelvis and the contractions were not as regular as they should be. She explained to Trude that both her cervix and baby's head were showing signs of swelling and that she could feel the anterior fontanelle, which indicated bubs wasn't in a great position. She did also say that bubs was really happy and apart from the swelling, he was fine.

I was so proud of Trude here. She knew that a C/s was becoming a very real option, but to give herself that best possible chance she told the Ob that she'd like another hour. The ob agreed and said that was not a problem and she'd be back at 1pm to see how she was going.

In the meantime, Cassie had found a lovely Midwife to come and give Trude some more options on how to get bubs into a better position. Chris, is an older homebirth midwife who was now working as the childbirth educater at the hospital. She was a grey-haired, English Granmotherly type and I loved her as soon as she walked in the door. She explained that she was free and if Trude did need to go for a C/s, she would come down to so that she would definitily get skin to skin immediately after birth - something that's not always guaranteed due to staffing. She then asked Trude if she could try a few other maneouvers to try and get things moving along.

She was just such a calming influence, her voice was so serene and relaxing - I even thought I was going to fall asleep at one point! She tried a maneuvre where she sat behind Trude and tried to pick bubs out of the pelvis and back down again. It sounds so bad, but it's something that as a homebirth midwife she'd had up her sleeve for these situations. All the time she was speaking to Trude in a lovely, calm voice, telling her to "Relax your body, bring out baby, let go of the tension, Your body is opening - just the way it was designed" All the time I was rubbing her feet with oils and Murray was beside Trude, whilst Chris prodded and performed all the meneuvers. She was an older lady, but working so hard physically on Trude - she had to have been sore the following day!

Chris was worried that Trudes bladder was too full and blocking the descent of the baby. She could feel a pocket of bladder and thought it was worth a try getting rid of this, so she asked Trude if she could change the catheter as she didn't think the one that was in was working properly. She changed it over, all the time Trudy was sitting on the bed with her eyes closed, doing yoga breathing and Chris was talking her through some visualisatons.

2pm and Adriana (Ob) came back in to check how everything was going. She did another internal, and it wasn't good news. Bubs was still high and Trude's cervix was still swollen and not moving past 9cm. She once again explained to Trude what this meant and she advised that a C/s really was the best option. She's been stuck at 9cm for 4 hours, and the swelling for both her and the baby was increasing. At this stage Chris also noticed that the urine coming into the cathater was blood stained.

A C/s was decided. There was lots of tears: from Trude and me, I'm sure Murray even had a few. After all Trudes hard work, it just felt so dissapointing for her labour to end this way - It felt like she'd done all the hard work of birth and just been ripped off the best bits. I talked to Chris after Trude and Murray left for theatre and asked her what would happen with Trude's situation in a homebirth. She said straight up that exactly the same thing would have happened, and she belieived that the bub was brow presentation. She felt that as the anterior fontanelle could be felt from an internal and the fact that bubs head was still so high - chances were that bubs had a deflexed head which was not going to come through. The way he was presenting meant that his head was coming out at the largest possible diameter (approx. 13.5cm) as oppossed to a normal flexed presentation of about 9.5cm. A big 4 cms difference!

~~Brow presentation~~

Adriana explained the whole process of a c/s to Trude, aknowledging although it wasn't part of the plan, she would make it as good experience as possible. I double checked that once bubs was born, he wouldn't be seperated from Trude and she'd be able to take him into recovery. The Ob confirmed that this is what would happen, and they'd get skin-to-skin immediately and a breastfeed when they were both ready. I rummaged through the bags and found a beanie and blanket that Trude had picked out for bubs, and gave it to Cassie to use instead of the hospital ones.

Murray was told to eat, to avoid fainting, and then was sent down to theatre to get scrubbed up. I gave Trude a hug, in between tears, and congratulated on doing so well. I was so excited for her, that in the next hour or so, she'd be meeting her little baby boy and becoming a Mother.

Orderly's were brought up and Trude was wheeled away to meet her baby. Cassie went with her and Chris and I were left in the room - so quiet and empty. I found out later that once down in theatre, Adriana the Ob had done another internal in the hope that things had changed and they could avoid the cs - but everythign still the same. I packed up everything and took it up to the room and waited. And waited. And waited.

It felt like an eternity as I sat their clutching my phone waiting for Murray to text and let me know the news. I wrote Trude a letter, telling her how amazing her experience had been for me and how proud I was of how she'd endured such an exhausting labour. I paced up and down the hall, loitering around the staff elevator hoping every time that it opened I'd see Trude and her new baby boy.

Murray finally did call and let me know that everything went well and they now had a beautiful baby boy - Jasper James. He told me his weight was 8lb 8oz, but later we realised that it was actually 8lb 13oz - a beautiful chubby boy. Finally the elevator doored opened and Trude came out with her new baby boy smooshed up on her chest. They were still skin-to-skin and Trude was just over the moon. Actually, one of the first things I noticed about her was how brilliantly green her eyes looked - for someone that had just had surgery she looked amazing. A there on her chest was her their beautiful little baby boy "Jasper James" All smooshed up and just perfect. His head was a bit cone shaped from the ordeal of labour, but it only took a day or so for his normal, lovely shaped head to come back.

We headed back to her room and got her all settled in. Over the next few hours all the sisters and Trude's mum came to visit the latest addition. I can't remember if Jasper had wanted to feed in recovery, but that afternoon and the next few days he was very disinterested in feeding. Trude had to express and he was fed colostrum with a syringe. Trude was adament that she was going to feed and determination from her part and willingness from Jasper, finally saw them connect and the beautiful breastfeeding relationship begun.

So that is my story of little Jaspers arrival. He's nearly 1 now, and grown so much over the last year. Trude and Murray are both wonderful, caring and gentle - it's so lovely to see them unfold and grow as parents. Trude, has completely blown me away with how much of an amazing mother she is. There is a softer side to her now, although she has always had this part to her personality, it's now more prominent. And little Jasper has just blossomed into the most delightful and cheekiest little boy.

~~Happy 1st Birthday Jasper~~

People power!

Last Thursday night, the birth centre that I had Xav at was abruptly closed down. The crazy big wigs of the hospital even fell so low as to try to evict a birthing Mum and transfer her from the birth centre into the normal delivery suite. Thankfully, the Midwife stood up for the woman, and she went on to happily birth her baby.

Once the word was out that the BC had been closed, the phone tree sprung into action. Phones and computers went into overdrive as everyone who has ever had anything to do with the BC were notified and a rally was organised for 11am the next day. Facebook played a big part in bringing everyone to the cause, and providing a place for arrangements to be made. I cancelled my day of baking and cake decorating, instead taking the kids to rally against such a stupid decision.

I was blown away by how many people had turned out to fight for the Bc to be re-opened, the official number was about 500! Amazing, considering it was at 11am - just 18 hours after the announcement to close had been made. We rallied and chanted, most in disbelief that it had happened so suddenly and unsure if our voices would be heard. The CEO of the hospital came out to speak at one point, his speech full of politically correct language but no specific reason for the closure. He agreed to a meeting with about 50 - made up on midwives, Academics and women. I was lucky enough to be given a heads up to where it was, so Trude and I headed off with the kids to join in.

The CEO explained that the senior Ob's of the hospital had pulled their support of the BC, and as one of the "rules" to setting up the BC in 2006 was that it had an Ob overseeing it - he said he had no other choice than to close it. It was also revealed that the Ob who is extremely supportive of the BC and is the one that mostly oversees it, was away on holidays. I wasn't sure who's strategic move this was, but I later found out that this Ob was furious that this had been done whilst he was away, and was still supportive of the BC. Seems there must be a little unrest between the Ob team.

Anyway, we left the meeting still not convinced that it would be reopened soon. But later that night I received a message from my Midwife that it has been re-opened and the CEO had called for a review of ALL maternity services in the hospital! He also apologised for the distress the closure had caused, especially to the poor women and families due around now. Gosh, if it happened 3 years ago, it would have really jeopardised my fantastic birth of Xav. I always buy the paper on the kids birthdays to be put away for when they are older, this one will be very memorable with the rally dominating the front page!

It's still not a perfect outcome, there is a anxiousness that if it happened once, it may happen again. So many birth activists are encouraging us all to keep this issue alive and make sure that the powers in charge are aware that we won't just sit back and watch such a wonderful Midwifery care program be closed down.

I also attended the friends of the BC meeting on the Monday following the rally. The original instigator of the BC opening spoke and explained about the review and how they would like a consumer on the panel. Me, being in a post-euphoric, save the world rally haze decided that I'd love to do it.

So now I'm nervous as hell. Our first meeting is on Monday and I'll be one of 6 representing the BC. 2 of the other women are homebirth midwives that are so well known and respected in the birthing community. One is big in the political side of birthing and was responsible for the BC being opened. So, yes a little daunting.

I just feel it's such an important issue (both the BC and birth choices), so I'm playing my little part of making that point.

Some links about the issue:

Rally

Reopens

Article in Weekend Bulletin

Weekend wrap

It's been a wet and drizzly weekend, the weather has been nice and cool - perfect for some crafts and snuggly family time before my busy upcoming week.

Saturday Wendy and I went up to Silkwood to do a craft workshop. We weren't going to, but after seeing the finished demo piece at our weekly Monday craft - I was inspired! I've wanted to learn how to wet-felt for a while now, so this opportunity was too good to pass.

The workshop is to make a fully handmade sewing case, big enough to hold all of our sewing tools. I rummaged through my sewing bags, and dragged out everything that I like handy when I'm getting crafty. I've worked out that I can fit way more than I thought in, so it's going to be exciting having a customised place for everything. I'm cramming in my dressmaking scissors, embroidery scissors, paper scissors, felting needle and spares, little note-pad, pencil roll, eraser, quick unpick, needle book, chopsticks (for stuffing things) and a few random pockets for extras. It's HUGE, but so awesome.

First up we cut out all the patterns of things we wanted to fit in, and working out what size felt we would have to make. Next was on to the felting. WOW, this is so much fun, but so much work. I've really developed an appreciation for pieces I have seen at craft markets now, realising just how much effort goes into each piece. You start with a blank piece of white batting, and then delicately layer it up with wispy bits of coloured fleece. I didn't realise the work involved, so of course jumped right in the deep end and envisaging mine to end up as a garden scene. Most of the others where smart, sticking to simple colours and random patterns. You keep layering up the fleece, which by now is getting quite high and I was starting to wonder how the heck it was going to squash down and look like felt. After the 2 layers of fleece, it was time to work on the detail. I made mine into a meadow scene, with a tree in the centre and a rainbow off to the side. I was a little rushed in the end, and would of preferred to put more detail into the flowers etc, but had to get on to the next step. Wetting down the fleece and rolling it all out. I really thought this step wouldn't take too long. WRONG. We were there for the next 3 hours, pain stakingly rolling and rubbing, trying desperately to get the fleece to felt onto itself. After, what felt like forever, it finally started to come together. To finish off the process we were told to throw it in the washing machine when we got home. Now, that was stressful. Lucky I had Wendy's piece as a practice piece and after that coming out fine, put mine in. It was exhausting and hard work, but I'm so pleased with how it's worked out.

I've heard that making felt involves breaking down mental and physical barriers, which I believe now. This might sound bizarre, but the process seems to take on a life of it's own. As each piece opens up, it evolves, develops and transforms. What I started with, was completely different to the end piece. Apparently that's the journey of felt. Amazing.

The workshop is on again next Saturday, where we will start sewing on the pockets for all the tools.

Saturday night I headed by myself to a screening of a birth movie at the Uni. It was a documentary on a woman that was wanting to deliver her baby vaginally, even though he was presenting breech. It showed her journey with trying to find her peace with the decision to vaginally birth, rather than opting for a c/s & her fight for this to happen. It was interesting to watch and then to see the birth of a baby coming feet first was awesome. Although the movie was great, it was the panel and all the other women speakers that inspired me the most. All the local and Brisbane women that are active in the birthing community were there. Fabulous midwives, those working politically for birth choices and many, many women that are passionate about preserving birth. It was inspiring and wonderful to be in a room full of so many like minded women (and a few men!) who all trust birth and have so much faith in our bodies to do what we were made to do. The wonderful Sarah J Buckley, was supposed to attend, but had to cancel. Instead she pre-recorded a talk for us all, telling us all about her breech birth and explaining why Breech vaginal birth is mostly un-heard of any more. She herself had an undiagnosed breech birth, at home!

Apart from breech birth talk, there was also a discussion on the ramifications of traumatic births, and the devastating effects that a dis-empowering birth can have. How the ripples of that flow further out and through society than we could ever imagine. And to realise that an empowering birth doesn't necessarily mean a text-book perfect vaginal birth, that also has the ability to be dis-empowering if there is a power in balance. It's mostly about giving women clear information and then supporting them in making an informed decision, and of course the long standing need for good midwife-led continuity care programs -not just for those deemed "low risk", but those that really require the extra care ie, vbacs.

There were a bunch of very passionate and motivated woman who are doing their absolute best to keep making people are that birth matters and there needs to be change in the system, and I'm hopeful that these changes can happen, soon.

An exciting week

I have had the most exhausting and exciting week all rolled into one!

Trudy finally has her little baby boy in her arms, after a roller coaster ride to the end of her pregnancy. Little Jasper was given until 16 days over his due date to make his appearance, but in the end he needed a little nudge. Induction started on Wednesday morning at 7am, and he finally decided to grace us with his presence at 3.41pm on the Thursday afternoon. Now I'm not even going to complain about the exhaustion of being up for 36 hours straight, cause its nothing compared to the way Trude must have been feeling - tired beyond belief. Of course she got a second wind when she got to meet her perfect little boy and those lovely birthing hormones flowed right through the both of them as their love affair began.

Oh, just amazing to witness new parents meet and fall deeply in love with the little person that they have grown over the previous 9 months. Its such a precious moment to be involved in and something that I hope to never take for granted.

I'm still writing up little Jasper's beautiful birth story, but the gorgeous little boy was born at 3.41pm on Thursday the 13th August. He weighed a sturdy 4004gms (8lb 13oz), 57cm long and with a 36 cm head. He is such a handsome little boy, with lots of strawberry blonde hair and beautiful deep blue eyes. He is so tiny and gorgeous and just the epitome of newborn perfection. He's a cruisy settled little boy, who after not having any interest for the first few days, has taken to breastfeeding like a champ now. He's doing everything just perfectly and has got being ridiculously cute and cuddly down pat.

Trude is doing fantastically. I always knew that she would be great at the physical side of mothering, but her emotional maternal side has surprised me. Her heart has been stolen by this little boy and her maternal side is out and proud. I love seeing her soft side, watching her tenderly stroke and kiss her newborn son as she inspects every part of him. She's just so calm and content, very relaxed and just enjoying this beautiful newborn period.

Ok, well I'm off to write out my lines as directed by my husband:

No more babies for a few years
No more babies for a few years

No more babies for a few years
No more babies for a few years
And so on, and on, and on.

Quick update

I started this post a few days ago and for some strange reason whenever I save it as a draft it publishes. It's just a lazy update on whats happening in the Penney household at the moment.

Me - I joined up to Weight Watchers last night and I am determined to loose at least 7 kgs, hopefully 10! I've always hovered around 67kgs, but after having Xav its slowly crept up to around 74 (even though my scales say 72kg), so I thought it was about time to stop calling the extra kg's "baby weight", (especially since my baby is now 2! ) and do something about it. So my mil and I joined up and Nicole is going to come along next week too. It'll help having each other to stay on track and keep motivated. Plus, I'm going to pay a month in advance at a time, so having already paid will keep me going back as I'd hate not to get the value out of it. I'm hoping to loose 1/2kg a week, and hopefully by Christmas I'll be under 67. I don't find following weight watchers all that hard, I did it just before I was married and lost 10kgs quite easily, getting down to about 57kgs. I just have to remember to drink lots of water, watch my portions sizes and make an effort to exercise more. Sounds easy hey? My weigh ins are on a Thursday, so in an effort to keep myself accountable I'll put my stats on every Friday. Crap, now I have to stick it out!

I am also getting very excited about the upcoming birth of Bubba Dew. Trude been one of my best friends for over 10 years and I feel so honoured and privileged that she has asked me as a support person to her birth. She is looking & feeling fantastic, especially considering she is 41 weeks tomorrow. I set up a "guess the stats" game, and every ones birthday guess has been and gone - except for Trude. The crazy girl is wanting to go over, she's even hoping to make it to 7/8/09, which takes her to 11 days over her due date. She has been desperate to avoid family birthdays, but after midnight tonight it's a clear run, so really she can go any time. My psychic abilities are crap, every night for the last week I have thought "tonight's the night", and every night nothing happens.

I feel like a lovesick teenager, obsessively checking my phone for the call out, even calling it from my home phone just making sure it works. Just thinking about her & Murray becoming parents makes my eyes spring leaks. Seeing them meet their little boy for the first time and witnessing the moment where they go from a couple to a family is going to be so precious. I have tried to describe to them how amazing birth & parenthood is, and I'm sure they think they know. But it truly is something that you just don't get until you've done it. nobody can explain to you the immense feeling of love as you've never known it before. I also can't wait to meet their precious little boy - he has chosen a very special family to join. Gosh, I know this little fella is going to send my hormones spinning - but I must stay strong and keep repeating, "In a few years, In a few years".

Grace - She's being a typical 3 1/2 y/o and perfecting which buttons of mine to press. Man, she drives me batty sometimes, mainly with the whinging and constant chatter. Shes asleep beside me now and looking like an absolute angel who could do no wrong. She is lovely, caring and thoughtful most of the time, it's just a few times in the day that she has me hollering like a mad women and ready to ship her off to boarding school. I know that at the moment my patience is thin with her, not really sure why. I think it has a lot to do with being together so much. I love spending time with her, but really the only break we have from each other is on a Tuesday and snippets during the week. I'm going to have a chat with Duane and arrange for 1 afternoon that he takes the kids out every week. he normally does, it's just these last few weeks we have been doing things around the house of an afternoon, but I'm finding I want some time home by myself.

She has been very sweet lately and learning lots of wonderful things at pre-school and her new playgroup. Duane and I both been going along with her to the playgroup, which she absolutely loves. It's at the Steiner school and runs from 1pm-3pm on a Thursday. It's lots of singing, storytelling, craft as well as inside and outside play. The kids also make their own bread rolls which are baked during the session and ready for them to eat on the way home. Whilst the kids are playing the parents do craft. Duane took her last time by himself and got stuck sewing a felt whale, which I thought was hilarious (he didn't!). This week I started finger knitting a flower garland that Grace will wear at the Spring Festival.

Grace is also loving pre-school and is really starting to feel comfortable there. She is still only going one day a week, but from next year it will be 2 days. The teachers are always telling me how great she is and how much she loves doing all the outside things. She's always wanting to visit the worms, play in the veggie patch and potter around in the garden. Apparently she is always polite, friendly and willing to help with anything. The kids are encouraged to help clean, cook and prepare the food - which Grace really enjoys doing. Last Tuesday she told me that she spent most of the indoor time polishing the bookcases - sounds thrilling. Maybe I should save the fees and just have her do my housework!

The Dogs - The dogs nearly got the boot the other day. I woke early before the kids and thought I'd head out for a cup of tea in the peace and quiet. All was happy in my world, until I noticed random bits of green and yellow plastic all around the dining area. On closer inspection I realised it was my LIMITED EDITION Silicone cupcake moulds, damn dogs had dragged them of the bench where I had left them last night after making individual apple pies. Out of the 6, 5 were now laced with canine teeth marks - and even though Tupperware has a fantastic guarantee, I really don't think that being used as a dog chew toy comes under normal wear and tear. Those bloody dogs better hope that research keeps getting released sprouting the benefits of pet ownership, or their time at the Penney residence could be nearly up. Man, why don't' Labradors ever grow up. I mean they are 7 & 8, surely they should be out of the stage of chewing things up? Lucky they are cute most of the time.

The chooks - Well turns out 2 of the babies that we hatched were roosters. Kinda gave it away when the both started wanting "special" cuddles with the other chooks, well actually it was their Mum they harassed the most. Sounds a little incestuous, but I guess technically she was just the incubator as it wasn't any of her eggs so really they weren't related. Either way, chicken sex & crowing was not a good combo to have happening in the front yard. I didn't mind the crowing, but I'm sure the neighbours weren't too impressed with the 4.30am wake up calls. So Frizzle and Da were shipped of to Duane's friends farm and apparently have fitted in well. Also was goof to know that the guy doesn't eat chicken - not that he would get much of their skinny frames. They have the run of a huge area and lots of hens to hit on, so perfect for them. I do miss having them around though. Although they weren't tame enough that we could pick them up, they were both friendly and also beautiful looking roosters. Frizzle is a "frizzle" breed, with beautiful soft brindle coloured feathers that actually grow backwards. Named by the children of course because of the breed, original hey!

~~Frizzle with Da in the background~~

Da is the other chicken, who had a name change after the humping and crowing incidents. Grace had called him Trudy, but after turning into a rooster we change the name to Da. Why Da? Well Xav likes to mess around with people, and insists on only saying "Da" when he is around Trudy, even though he can say a gazillion other things. Da is a small brindle bantam that in the sunlight is a green/black colour. He was the gentleman of the hen house, always waiting outside on dusk to make sure all the other chooks were tucked up in bed. Only once everyone else was in did he head off to bed.

~~Da, Frizzle and their incubater Silkie~~

The other chooks are all happy. Why wouldn't they be though really. They get to wander around out the front from the crack of dawn, eating the kids breakfast leftovers and any other food scraps that they choose. All we ask from them is an egg a day and to stay out of the veggie patch - otherwise everything else is free reign. They really are fantastic animals to have though. I initially was hesitant, thinking that chooks would need a larger area but they are fine on our little 800sq suburban block. Sending the kids out to collect the 3 eggs a day is a big bonus, and then cracking them open and seeing clear egg white and a big orange yolk. Nothing beats it.

I often catch Henny & Bertha nestled in a dust whole, looking like a couple of old bitties having a gossip:

~~"You don't say Bertha!~~

Every Woman, Every Choice

In light of the proposed legislation regarding Homebirth, Maternity Coalition are holding a National day of action on the 4th July. I was originally going to go to the rally in Byron Bay, until we decided to hold our own on the Gold Coast. A few girls from the Friends of the Birth Centre & I are organising a rally to be held in Broadbeach tomorrow at 10am.

We've sent out invitations to as many people as we could (good 'ol facebook!), alerted the media and also our local politicians. I wrote to my local MP, who also happens to be one of my good friends husbands - so slightly awkward. I was tossing up whether to go with the casual "friendly" approach, or keep it formal. Astra did suggest I just wrote, "This is crap, oppose it", but I thought I should be a little nicer than that!

I'm a bit nervous about how everything is going to go tomorrow. We spent yesterday making up some banners and signs, then today I decided to quickly make up some bandanna's with "Our Birth, Our Choice" embroidered on them. They turned out well, so I'll had them out to a few people tomorrow. We wanted to do a walk, but as it was a last minute decision to hold the rally, we wouldn't have been able to get council approval in time. So we are just going to set up an area, with some banners, our signs, some information and just hope and pray that people turn up. I'll be happy if we get more than 20 people.

I'm taking the kids, and Grace must have been taking notice when we were making signs yesterday, she's been yelling out "My Birth, My Choice" and "Have a Homebirth". Very Cute. Duane's playing golf in the morning, but has asked how much bail money he thinks he will need to get us all out of jail!

I just think it's a really important cause. If the legislation goes through, it will be a very sad day for women's rights in Australia. I still can't believe that the Government is wanting to make it Illegal for Homebirth with a midwife to happen, for it to be a criminal act. It is so wrong that the choice of where to birth is taken out of our hands and being decided by a bunch of suits in Canberra.

So I'm channelling my inner 70's protester, and doing my bit to put a stop to this outrageous proposal.

Here's the letter I have sent to my local MP, Nicola Roxon (Health Minister) and K-Rudd.


Dear *****,

I am writing to you in regards to the proposed legislation that is going to make homebirth with a qualified Midwife in Australia Illegal.

Recently, draft legislation has been released that affects the ability of women in Australia to birth at home with a registered midwife in attendance. The title of the draft is “Health Practitioner Regulation National Law 2009” and can be found on the website: http://www.nhwt.gov.au/natreg.asp.

The legislation states that from July 2010, health practitioners will need to be registered, and have insurance in order to do so. Unfortunately, no insurance has been made available to Independent Midwives, so they will not be able to register.
The legislation also includes a proposed fine of $30,000 for people who “incite or direct” unprofessional conduct. I can only assume, not being a lawyer, that this would include a woman who offers money to a midwife to attend her birth at home.

I am outraged that Homebirth will be a crime, and that those participating will be treated as criminals. I have had 2 hospital births and was planning on homebirths for any future children; my choice may soon be illegal. I am also planning on studying a Bachelor of Midwifery next year, with the hope of one day becoming an Independent Midwife. If this legislation is passed, I will have to rethink my career choice.

I wonder, if the choice to homebirth is taken away, will women still birth at home, but without a Midwife? Surely this is not a situation that the Government would like to encourage, considering Homebirth with an Independent Midwife has been proven to be a safe option.

This legislation is anti-women, anti-choice, indeed, anti-human rights. Please help prevent this backward step.

I also wanted to let you know that Maternity Coalition is conducting a “Day of Action” to send a message to Canberra that we do not accept being told where we can birth our babies. These rallies will be happening all over Australia, including one in your Electorate.

The details are as follows:
Day: Saturday 4th July
When: 10am
Where: Pratten Park

I urge you to oppose this legislation. Homebirth is not a crime.

Yours Sincerely

Kirsten Penney

Home

Well the kids and I are all home, after a great holiday to Tas. Everything went brilliantly, and this was the first trip that I wasn't crying on the phone to Duane and wanting to come home early. I could easily have stayed another week and still not have had a scrap of homesickness.


The kids were perfect angels the whole time, I only wanted to donate the big one to charity for about 5 minutes. Peak time in Sydney airport with 2 energetic kids and lots of energetic is a recipe for disaster!

We got home to an immaculately clean house at about 10pm Sunday night. Only stayed clean enough for us all to dump our luggage and spread out the paraphernalia that comes with having kids. Soon enough the house had that "lived in" look again and poor Duane looked slightly peeved that all his hard work was being trashed. It was a quick change into Pj's and straight to bed for a very exhausted Mummy & 2 kiddies.

It's been a busy few days. I had a dentist appointment on Wednesday and am now the proud owner of a gigantic whole where my molar once was. I'd been having trouble with the gum getting infected all the time, but at my last trip to the dentist she thought that it was just an infection in the tooth and if that cleared up the molar could be saved. Well she did a temporary filling, but still the gum kept getting infected so there was no use even attempting the permanent filling, so out it came yesterday.

I was all brave going by myself, practicing my calm breathing as he approached with a gigantic needle. The needle stung a little, but it was the 10 minutes of dragging on the tooth to extract it that caused the most pain. He had the tooth by the pliers and was pulling it from side to side to loosen it, but the problem was the metal from the pliers was causing friction on my lips and burning them. Not a pleasant feeling, but one I just had to put up with until the tooth gave way and came out.

Finally after what seemed like forever, the huge molar came free. It was enormous, with such deep, long roots. The anaesthetic was kind to me for an hour or so, but then the aching started. I just came home, shoved my mouth full of gauze and went to sleep. The adrenaline in the needles leaves me shaky and exhausted and not capable of doing anything but lay around feeling sorry for myself. It ached all night and all the next day, not to mention the disgusting feeling of swallowing blood and having a gross infection taste permanently in my mouth. It was pulled on Wednesday, it's now Friday and still aching all day. The gaping big hole is just revolting, everything I eat gets stuck in it and I am constantly having to flush it out.

Another big thing happened this week that was very exciting. I got to listen to Sarah J Buckley speak at a Friends of The Birth Centre meeting. She came down to talk to us about birth, focusing mainly on the important roles that hormones play. She's amazing and so knowledgeable on birth, breastfeeding and babies, it was awesome listening to her. I was slightly tragic and got her to sign my copy of her book (Big W $18.43, BARGAIN!).

Oh, and I almost forgot THE MOST exciting thing that happened this week. My friend Trudy has asked me to be a support person at her birth at the end of July! Trude was at Xav's birth being my very own paparazzi and capturing every moment perfectly. She's also having her little boy at the BC, and with the same midwife that I had. I am just so thrilled that I get to share in the journey of birth again, the experience of welcoming a new baby is just the best.

I have 2 posts that I am frantically trying to finish - Lucienne's birth & our trip to Tas, so I best get back to them!

Busy week

I have had the most exciting, thrilling, nervous, anxious and emotional week.

It's been fantastic and such a learning experience for me, but I am now absolutely exhausted and relieved that the intensity has subsided.

It's been such a roller coaster of events, but all went well and there is a beautiful little baby girl at the end. Also a Mother who is feeling fantastic, confidant, fulfilled and courageous.

I'm still yet to write up the huge story, but Nicole did end up going into labour and trying for her vbac. Unfortunately she did end up having an Emergency Cesarean, but she is so thrilled that she got to experience labour and the power within her body. There are so many reasons why this was important for her, but noticeably the biggest one now is that she has a story. Not just a retelling of a scheduled event like her first birth, she actually has a birth story full of pain, courage, strength and power. She has come away with the control, never once submitting for something she didn't want. She directed the journey from start to finish, and what a ride it was!

Now on to the cute part of all this - The gorgeous little baby girl.

Lucienne Bijou Lily - 9pd 12 oz's of squishy newborn goodness. She is absolutely adorable, and such a sweet alert little girl. If I was the baby stealing type - this is one I could easily take home and love. She is just perfect.

I was also lucky enough to spend last night with Lucie and Nicole at the hospital. Loic had to pick his Dad up from Brisbane airport and little Logie was needing some Daddy time. Of course I was overjoyed at getting to spend the night not only with a snuggly newborn baby, but also getting to chat to the Midwives when they got a chance. Little Lucie was a perfect slumber party companion, only waking every 2 hours to get drunk on Nicole's milk which was on it's way in.


I really wasn't prepared for the intensity of supporting someone mentally and physically through labour. The week up to Lucie's arrival was such an emotional roller coaster, and I have doubted whether I gave Nicole my absolute best. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it can also play havoc on or minds. I have been playing everything over and over in my head and I keep thinking of a million things that I could have done to help her more. I did think at the time that she was coping beautifully with the contractions and I was just supporting her as she found her own way to the end of each one. Maybe I should have ramped it up a bit then?, then maybe she wouldn't have lost focus or let fear creep in. Who knows, as I said hindsight is a crazy thing! I do know that I have learnt so much from this experience, and I'm sure this will be only of benefit to the next birth I am lucky enough to be involved in.

It was the very first birth that I had witnessed though, well other than my own. During labour communication seems to halt and instinct and intuition kicks in. It's really hard to judge if you are doing the right thing or not, or if there is something else that would be more beneficial.

It was an amazing experience though, one I would never want to give up. It's also cemented my passion, and confirmed that Midwifery is the life path that I want to take.

Waiting patiently....

I'm so excited!

One of my best friends is 40 weeks pregnant today and anytime now she is going to meet her baby girl. Her first birth was a caeserian for a low lying placenta, but this one will be a much longed for VBAC and I"M GOING TO BE THERE!!!!!!!

I can't explain how privileged, honoured and excited I am about seeing my very first birth (apart from my own and virtually the whole library on u-tube!)

She is looking gloriously radiant and feeling fantastic, ready for the exhilarating journey of birth and meeting her baby. A vbac is a struggle, but she has fought hard for what she believes is best for her and her baby and I know that she can achieve it. She has changed care providers, from one Ob/hospital who would not "let" (cause yeah, its his body to decide) her even attempt a vbac, to a hospital that does them all the time and is fully supportive. One hospital does what is best for the ob's (convenience, more $$ etc) and the other wants what is best for the Mum and Bub, using evidence based practice not scare mongering.

The anticipation of labour commencing must be strange for her though, her first child was born at 38 weeks with not one hint of labour. She is eagerly waiting for her first sign that the birth dance has started, and I am permanently attached to my mobile waiting for the call! My bags are packed and the MIL is on high alert to come when called to look after the kids.

I'm wishing for her a beautiful, empowering birth, where hopefully the baby comes out the natural exit. A vbac does have a risk of repeat c/s, but the hospital has a great c/s policy. I know that Nicole desperately wants a Vbac, and the thought of another c/s motivates that more, but if it was necessary and she has control in how it was handled she will be ok.

I'll be making sure that if there is a choice to how things are done, they are done for the better of Nicole - not to make any one else's job easier. I'll do everything I can to make keep her birth space protected and making sure that everything that happens is done out of informed consent.

What everyone should have hey!

Best piece of advice I could ever give to anyone to gain correct information:

BRAN - remember it.

B - What are the benefits?
R - What are the risks?
A - What are the alternatives?
N - What if we do nothing?

By using the above you are given the whole picture. It's your right to make an informed choice, but sometimes all the options aren't given. By keeping the above in mind, it's easier to remember what to ask and to make a choice based on everything.

Choice

Where a family chooses to birth their baby should be their choice, but it's all become very political. Having an Independant Midwife and a planned homebirth is a safe choice for many healthy pregnant women. Soon though, this choice may be made illegal.

At the moment you can pay for your own homebirth, but come July 2010 there is a good chance that having a homebirth with a qualified midwife will be illegal. A review into maternity services has been conducted and included in the recommendations are that all maternity practitioners will need insurance to be able to register. Fine, that makes sense. EXCEPT there is NO insurance product available for Private Midwives. So if an Independant Midwife can not get insurance she can not practice and if she does practice it will mean jail time. This doesn't just rule out midwives at homebirth, it also rules out Independant midwives helping Mum's in the antenatal period and also postnatal. At the moment Independatn Midwives are registered but are not required to have insurance. They have a contractual agreement with their clients stating that they do not have indemnity insurance.

Homebirths will still be available in some states that offer funded midwifery programs, but whilst these programs are a great step in the right direction, the selection criteria is very strict and not enough spots to fill the demand.

Such a life changing and important event such as child birth has been medicalised to the point that the thought of performing the most natural human function at home is going to be illegal. You can choose a fully elective C/s, but you WILL NOT be able to choose to have one-on-one midwifery care at home.

I understand that homebirth is not for everyone, just the same that an Elective C/s is not for everyone, but at least those that choose to have a c/s can have one. It will not be an option after July 2010, unless the recommendations aren't followed through. Homebirth is not for everyone but it should still be a valid choice that is supported and respected, heck it should even be funded. Maternity takes up one of the largest proportion of beds at hospitals, surely if homebirth was available and funded these beds could be freed up for truely sick people. Homebirth is still such a minority, but maybe with more positive births talked about and the fear of birth worked through, it may become an option for more people. Too often women are labeled "patients" when for the majority, they are not sick, just pregnant.

Trust of birth is lost in the need to induce, intervene and perform surgery. So many women are falling victim to the cascade of interventions, and made to make uninformed decisions based sometimes on manipulation and fear. It starts with all talk of being overdue. Normal gestation is 38-42 weeks, only 3 % of babies are actually born on their magic due date. It's an average. So many women are offered inductions just after passing the 40 week mark, because they are so overdue. I wonder if many women are told about the higher risk of other intervention that goes along with being induced? How often are they told about the importance of keeping waters intact until they break by themselves? Your waters are there to cushion the baby, allowing them to move into the best position for birth. If they are artificially broken, the baby is dropped into the pelvis suddenly and sometimes not in the optimum position, making for a harder second stage. Of course this still happens if waters break naturally, but why break the waters unnecessarily just to speed things up?

Homebirth is not all about long-haired hippy women birthing their babies with whale music and incense burning in the background. Those that choose to homebirth do so because they have faith in the process and understand that birth is a physiological process. They want what is best for their baby and that is to be in a safe, protected environment, surrounded by positive people who are all emotionally involved in the intimate act of their birth. The midwife is there for the one women, not rushing ragged between a few rooms, trying to give optimal care and support to many. The midwife and the family have built up a relationship throughout the pregnancy, which gives them a better chance of picking up problems should they occur. Most homebirthers are well researched and informed with their decisions, they understand that birth is safe most of the time, and are willing to take full responsibility for their choices. If during the pregnancy or labour a medical problem presents, then of course you go to the hospital and seek medical advice.

Once again, I understand that homebirth is not a choice that a lot of people want for them self. However, if we start taking choice away from women in regards to birth, what else can be taken? Do we really want to go back to the days of being dropped of at the front door of the hospital by our husbands, shunted up to the "delivery" ward, strapped to a bed until the Dr comes into to declare it's time to push?

Birth should be an empowering time of our life, whichever way the baby comes out. If you want your experience to be with an elective C/s, and you have been given all the information in order to make an informed decision, that's fantastic. It's your choice, and It's great that you have the option. Then why does the family that choose homebirth not afford the same choice? They should also be able to assess their situation and make an informed decision as to where to birth their baby. Isn't it shocking that one could be made illegal! Wrong for so many reasons.

I am writing to my local MP about this, it's something that I feel strongly about. My dream is to one day become a midwife and after getting experience I want to become an Independant Midwife. This dream could very well be shattered. I also will be homebirthing my next baby, and I wasn't planning on getting in before the July 2010 deadline, so I hope that this whole issue can be resolved.

I know that homebirth will never stop happening, but if it is made illegal it will happen without proper care. Those that do not want to birth under strict guidlines of hospitals, will only have a choice to freebirth and they will. I'm not sure how I personally feel about an intentional freebirth, I like the attention and care of a qualified midwife.

Anyway, enough ranting and time for action:

Here's a petition to sign:
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/australianhomebirth/

And of course a Facebook group to join:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=55667514020

Tag debut

Yipeee......I've got my very first tag!

Thanks to Ave for tagging me - hopefully this will break me out of my blogging funk at the moment.

The rules:

1. Go to the section of your computer where you store all of your photos.

2. Select the 6th folder.

3. Select the 6th photo from that folder.

4. Post and explain about that picture.

5. Tag 6 other people.

My photo:

I am just thankful that it was the 6th photo I needed to put up, otherwise it would have been a very unflattering and graphic picture of me bringing my little boy into the world!

Anyway about this pic. It was taken on 3.59am on the 17th/07/2007, easily one of the best days in my life. Xav was actually born 8 minutes later at 4.07am.

I had been in the bath for about 10 minutes, after going into transition in the shower. I had planned all along on having a water birth, so as soon as it was full I was in. Oh, to be weightless and surrounded by warm, comforting water - Perfect.

Not long after getting in the water a familiar grunt escaped from my mouth. I knew exactly what that was, but didn't possible think that it was that time yet. Moments later it happened again and there was now no denying it - I was pushing. The anicipation was mounting, it would be soon that we would meet our brand new baby. My waters had just broken in the water, I was slightly disapointed as I was hoping for him to be born in the caul.

Duane was in the water with me, splashing my exposed skin with the soothing warm water. Mum was there rubbing my back and offering sips of water in between contractions. Tracey, my gorgeous midwife, was just watching, completely hands of and just encouraging me to do what ever I wanted to. Trude was being my official papparazzi, capturing everything whilst also offering motivation from the sidelines.. I was surrounded by people that I completely trusted. My mind and body was at it's most vulnerable, yet I was comfortable and calm.

It looks really bright in the pic but the lights were off and the only lights on were coming from the spa and the flash from the camera. Everyone was calm and relaxed as we waited for the pushing contractions to intensify, and for his little head to be visible. It wasn't much longer, another 8 minutes and he was completely out. Just magic.

This photo takes me straight back there. I was strong, powerful and fully in control of birthing my boy. I was superwoman for the day!

Now, I don't have 6 people to tag so I'll have to make do with 3.

Konnie

Charli

Beck

Good night my sweet 2 y/o.....

Where is the time going?

It seems only yesterday that I was meeting my beautiful daughter for the very first time, and yet it's been 3 years. 3 beautiful, magical years of watching her grow from a tiny, tiny newborn who fitted perfectly in my arms to a confidant, enthusiastic toddler.

It was 3 years ago today that I realised that I was in the early stages of labour. I had woken in the morning to realise that I had my "show". I spent the day eagerly awaiting any other sign that my baby was coming. I cleaned and cleaned, not really sure what was happening, just that something was. By the end of the day nothing had started. Duane & I settled in to watch Tv for the night when around 7pm I noticed that I was getting pains, nothing regular but still pains. We sat there giddy with excitement, eating my pregnancy craving of ice cream, walnuts and ice magic. I went to bed, not knowing what to expect. Duane went to bed thinking that my waters were going to explode everywhere.

I slept all night, occasionally waking up with a slight period pain. All the next day I was getting the pains, not a lot of regularity to them and not causing too much discomfort. About 4pm I had to start standing when they were coming, but in between contractions I felt great. Things started heating up at about 7pm.

I went to hospital around 8pm, and after 2 hours of hard work I met my sweet girl and feel deeply and instantly in love. It was, and it still is one of the most magical moments of my life.

So good night my sweet little girl, tomorrow you will be a big 3 year old. You are the absolute light of my life, my shining star who brightens my every single day. I love you.

As a special treat, I went today and got some ice cream, walnuts and ice magic, which I am going to enjoy now whilst I reminisce about that beautiful day. All whilst watching Duane fumble about trying to put together the doll house our birthday girl is waking up to tomorrow.

5am thoughts

It's 5am and I can't sleep.

I've been awake since 4am tossing and turning, willing my mind to shut down so that my weary eyes could close and take me to slumber land.

Not happening.

So I thought I might purge all my thoughts here in the hope that clearing my head will be my answer. Of course once I am ready to head back to bed, the kids will wake! I'd be right if Duane was here, but he is off cleaning until 9am, so no chance of a sleep in. Oh well, I have our weekly Sunday Siesta to look forward to.

So what's running around my head?

Firstly my stupid wisdom tooth has flared up again, not yet unbearably painful, but still offering glimpses of it's potential. I've been taking panadol which does take the edge off it, however I really think that I will need another dose of A/b's to get me through it. I'll call the oral surgeon on Monday and see how far up (or how far down!) the wait list I am for getting them removed once and for all. I'm hoping they will take pity on the fact that I am still breastfeeding my "baby" and unable to take too strong a pain killer. Yes, I am avoiding telling them how old my baby is, they don't need to know that he is 15mths and only feeds maybe once a day!

The other thing that is consuming my thoughts is so, so exciting. I have been asked by my best friend to be with her and her husband through their journey of pregnancy and birth. I am thrilled and honoured that they have asked me. This birth is her 2nd, first was a mediaclly necessary c/s. She desperately wants a VBAC (vaginal birth after C/s), not just because it is mostly best for bub and Mum, but to also heal the hurt and feelings of being let down in her previous birth.

Sure, she came away with a healthy baby, and ultimately that's what it comes down to, but treating Mum's with respect and emotional support after a major operation should just be what happens and your absolute right.

Can you believe that after a C/s her baby was whisked past her and not returned for over an hour and a half? She was just told that it was too cold in the theatre for babies (umm...derrr what about warm blankets??), then her husband was sent out into the hallway with a brand new baby with absolutely no support or idea what was happening. Meanwhile Mum was in the theatre for 1/2 hour getting stitched up, no doubt hormones going through the roof AND no baby. THEN another 45 minuted in recovery ALONE, and to find out later that was because the hospital doesn't want to put on extra staff which would allow Mum and Baby precious first moments together in recovery. That is so, so wrong.

It would be Ok (well not ok, but forgivable) if there was a medical problem, but this was for an elective (aarhhhh, I hate that term used for C/s's when there is no other choice) C/s. Maybe for an emergency they might not be able to put their crap together, but surely for an elective where they have ample of warning, things could have been done more respectfully.

It's just so obstetric led, with no respect or emotional support at all giving to the birthing women. The OB walks away with the memory of a happy family as they first meet, and no doubt patting himself on the back for a job well done, with total disregard for all the other factors. It's the woman that carries the burden of the experience for the rest of her life. It's her that plays it over and over again, feeling the powerlessness every time and that loss of control. The only person that had control was the OB (KNob), and mostly just for his own convenience, to make his job easier.

Birth does matter.

On the upside we have found a hospital that is Baby/Mother friendly and their policies are so much better. IF a C/s was to happen and everyone is well, bubs goes straight to Mum. I think then it's a quick check and wipe over from the Pead and then back to Mum. Mum gets stitched up, all with Bub on her chest or being held by Dad. The it's ALL 3 into recovery together, bubs and Mum are skin-to-skin and if bub is interested, they can have their first breasfeed.

No separation, no anxious Dad pacing the floor with bub, no confused baby looking for a nipple, no Mum spending the most surreal time of her life all alone. How it should be.

Phew, glad to get that out. I am so pissed of that women are treated like crap at what should be one of the most beautiful moments of their life. It's irrelevant which way the baby comes out, both ways should be handled respectively. When at a time that you are being your most powerful, you are powerless.

So now she is on the journey to Vbac. I am confidant that she can do it, as long as she is given the right support and guidance. First step is getting into one of the Vbac supportive Ob's.

We went and did a tour of the maternity ward yesterday and chatted to a few of the midwives. As long as everything is going well in the pregnancy, they are very supportive of vbac's. They talked about the monitoring, explaining that it is both wireless and water proof which means that it can be worn into the shower and also means water birth in an option. Totally different attitude compared to when she asked them at the other hospital. Wrong stat's where thrown at her, eyebrows were raised and no other options were given.

Virtually their way or the highway, thank you very much.

I can't wait to see the elation on both their faces when they get to meet their new baby, and have my own little piece of "birthing" high. I keep picturing her given birth in water, she's a Pieces like me so I am sure that she will find comfort there.

Wow, the kids still have not risen. They are both in my bed, Xav came in at about 2am and Grace came at about 4am.

Here they are both enjoying a lazy Sunday morning in the parental (who am I kidding! I meant family) bed.

WANTED: 1 time machine, ability to stop time preferred!

Ok, I have searched Ebay but can't find one. I know I have left it a little late, considering the big day is tomorrow but I am still in hope that it can happen.

There just has to be a way to either re-live the last year OR just freeze time? I have done a quick audit in my head and I really don't think that I have been allocated the proper hours. There is 525600 hours in a year, have I really had that many with Xavi? Doubt it....I really think I have been ripped of.

So on those grounds I am asking for an extension of the first year.

Please don't make me go to bed tonight knowing I have a baby, then only have me wake with a toddler.

Oh dear, it's all a bit much for this sentimental Mummy.

It was 1 year ago today that Mum & I searched every Naturopath on the coast trying to get the labour potion.

It was 1 year ago today that I nervously drank it, hoping that I would be meeting my little baby soon

It was 1 year ago today that Duane massaged my feet, desperately searching for the 'induction' trigger that is supposed to be on your sole.

It was 1 year ago today that I went to bed just "knowing" that I would wake later in labour.

And so it is 1 year tomorrow that I gave birth to my precious baby Xavier.

Oh the memories!

That is a day of my life that I will always be able to remember with clarity.

It was such a magical experience, it was the journey to meeting my sweet baby boy.

Being that tomorrow is "The Day", I have been busy preparing a cake for Xavier to share with his playgroup mates.

It's a trial run for his party on the weekend, but I am happy with how it has turned out.

I really thought that I was ok.....

I really thought that I was OK with maybe never having anymore babies.

It's only been in the last 2 months that I have been contented and felt that I would be fine never having another child.

Now I am not so sure. I know that it is bought on by a few things, the main one being that my baby is toddling AND about to turn one. I just cant bear the thought of not going through the baby stage again. I am so not ready to pack up that part of my life and move on. Was I fooling myself to think that I was? I actually really thought I was fine with it, but maybe not.

The other thing that has just come up is the longing for a homebirth. I know you don't just have the baby for the birth, but it is on my list of things that I would love to do. I wouldn't just get pregnant just so that I could experience a home birth, but it is something that I know I will do if I am blessed with another child.

So the above has been prompted by the fact that my good friend has just had a homebirth, although unplanned. I am just so excited and relieved for her. Her first birth was traumatic and she was so nervous about this one. I only saw her yesterday, she was 41 weeks and due to be induced on Monday. I gave her all my labour induction potions in the hope that she didn't' have to transfer from the birth centre and have a medical induction. The excitement of her homebirth is for me (she is still in shock from it) but I am so proud of her that she gave birth to her baby boy herself, with none of the trauma of her first birth. She knew what went wrong in her first birth and was courageous enough to look into the alternatives and had a positively beautiful (albeit quick!) birth. I was so relieved to hear the news, but it also has shaken those feelings again of wanting another.

My husband doesn't really get it. He thinks, "Oh great, the kids are getting older we can do this and that with them now", which is great because he is getting on with it. Me on the other hand is being waaaayyyyy too emotional about it all. I find myself just reliving the last few years and wishing get that they could last longer.

I don't think he really understood what I was trying to out today. I tryed to explain it to him in between tears and flipping pancakes for breakfast. He thinks that I am blaming him for not wanting another child yet. It's not even that I want it now, I think i just want to know that there is an option of another child. Oh dear, maybe I don't even know what I want? His only solution was of course practical, "So do you want to go make a baby now?" Stupid fool suggesting that to me in this state of mind!

Damn people having sweet little babies. And I am surrounded by pregnant people, I really should learn to deal with this all now cause it's going to be like fireworks going off with all the babies due around September.

So a big congratulations to Jen and her her beautbiful family. Cass is going to make the best big sister ever & I can't wait to meet your brand new son. Such a special time in your life, enjoy.