~~A drop of milk on Xavs chin~~
Why am I not happy to just trust my instincts and do what I know is right and Ok?
Ever since Xavier turned 1 I have been chopping and changing about what to do about his night feeds and co-sleeping. He still wakes once a night for a feed. I bring him into bed with me, feed him and he peacefully goes off to sleep.
I am ok with that. Well most of the time I am. I know that I shouldn't let it, but it is what others think that has me wondering if I should be stricter on him. Stupid hey!
It's just gets drummed into your brain that co-sleeping is wrong. Everyone has something to say about it when it's mentioned and usually it's negative. "Creating bad habits", "What about your husband" blah, blah, blah. The fact that I am still (shock, horror!) feeding him at all let alone during the night is just too much for some. Even the MCHN said that they don't need feeding of a night after 6 months. Breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition though, its comfort as well.
So after hearing & reading about that for so long it's really hard to tune it all out and stick to what I think is right. I am so confused sometimes that I am not even sure what I think is right.
So this week I have tuned it all out and worked out what is right for our family.
I am going to keep feeding Xav if he wakes of a night. I will try to give him the dummy, but if he gets upset I'll feed him. I could never leave any of my children to just cry, whether they are little or older. That to me feels so wrong. I would never leave an adult alone of a night if they were upset, why would I do that to my sweet babies?
Ever since Xavier turned 1 I have been chopping and changing about what to do about his night feeds and co-sleeping. He still wakes once a night for a feed. I bring him into bed with me, feed him and he peacefully goes off to sleep.
I am ok with that. Well most of the time I am. I know that I shouldn't let it, but it is what others think that has me wondering if I should be stricter on him. Stupid hey!
It's just gets drummed into your brain that co-sleeping is wrong. Everyone has something to say about it when it's mentioned and usually it's negative. "Creating bad habits", "What about your husband" blah, blah, blah. The fact that I am still (shock, horror!) feeding him at all let alone during the night is just too much for some. Even the MCHN said that they don't need feeding of a night after 6 months. Breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition though, its comfort as well.
So after hearing & reading about that for so long it's really hard to tune it all out and stick to what I think is right. I am so confused sometimes that I am not even sure what I think is right.
So this week I have tuned it all out and worked out what is right for our family.
I am going to keep feeding Xav if he wakes of a night. I will try to give him the dummy, but if he gets upset I'll feed him. I could never leave any of my children to just cry, whether they are little or older. That to me feels so wrong. I would never leave an adult alone of a night if they were upset, why would I do that to my sweet babies?
The co-sleeping thing I will just go nightly on. If I can be bothered getting back out of bed after the feed, I'll put him back. Otherwise he can stay in with us. Duane and I are both of agreeance that this is ok. He is not bothered at all if either kid sleeps with us, I love this about him. I love that he is gentle and intuitive with them, and certainly not fussed what others think.
2 nights ago I went to bed thinking if Xav woke I would feed him and then put him back to his bed. Well he had his feed, came off and fished around for his dummy. I thought, "Get-up Kirsten, put him back into the cot". But I couldn't do it. His soft, warm body was curled into mine, his sweet milky breath tickling my cheek. The reassuring sigh as he exhaled was enough to lull me back to sleep, content and happy that he was beside me.
2 nights ago I went to bed thinking if Xav woke I would feed him and then put him back to his bed. Well he had his feed, came off and fished around for his dummy. I thought, "Get-up Kirsten, put him back into the cot". But I couldn't do it. His soft, warm body was curled into mine, his sweet milky breath tickling my cheek. The reassuring sigh as he exhaled was enough to lull me back to sleep, content and happy that he was beside me.
I am confidant with my parenting choices, knowing that everything I am doing is best for our family. I am not going to worry about what others may think, the internal conflict that I have been having can be hushed.
For now I want to parent with my heart, my babies are only little for such a short time. I want to do what feels right, and not to feel guilty for that.
For now I want to parent with my heart, my babies are only little for such a short time. I want to do what feels right, and not to feel guilty for that.
1 comments:
Don't us mama's have a tough time proving ourselves!
Becoming a mum at just 18, ensured I became somewhat of an expert on hearing other people's opinions. lol!
You sound like you are doing a wonderful job ignoring them all, and God knows that's not easy! I believe that the best way to raise your children, is to do exactly what works for you and your children, after all, no-one else knows them like you do!
You go girl!
Charli xox
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