Second time round

I was a relaxed and easy going Mum when Grace was little, but I think I am even more so with Xavier.

I just feel like I have ditched all the unnecessary crap and just gone more with the flow. With Grace I was eager for a "sleep through", cause that indicated that I was doing everything right. Lucky for me she was a great sleeper and we never really had any night time dramas with her. She used to come into our bed at about 4am every morning, but never before. I tried co-sleeping one night with her, but found that neither of us got any sleep.

It's all so different with X. Although I would love a full nights sleep, Its not the be all and end all to get it. I still feed him overnight, which was a no-no with Grace. I remember the Mchn telling me that after 6 months they don't need feeding overnight, so I just used to re-settle Grace if she woke. She'd go straight back to sleep, which was more to do with her placid nature than me having some magic sleep cure. It just doesn't bother me having to feed X. I just find it so much easier to bring him into our bed when he wakes, he feeds & I sleep. Perfect! Night time is our special time. It's just the 2 of us, alone and together.

We had a beautiful moment last night. He was curled into my side, quietly feeding and drifting off to sleep. Duane was on the other side of him, already asleep and snoring. Xavier was stroking my arm as he fed, his warm body tucked into mine. I just layed there watching him and trying to etch the image of him in my memory. His sucking started to slow and he eased himself from my embrace and rolled over to his tummy. One arm reached out to his touch his Daddy's arm, the other reaching back to me. So, so sweet. Why wouldn't I want him sleeping beside me?

On a side note.......My damn period is back and it seems back to normal. I guess last months light one was just a one-off. This time I am so moody and my whole body is aching. I feel constantly nauseous, with a heavy drag in my stomach.

What can I do to make it stop again??????????