My little boy is 10 weeks

Where is the time going?????

My little boy is so grown up at 10 weeks old! He is so strong and seems to be like a 6 month old baby! He rolls easily from his tummy to back and tries to go from back to front but can’t yet! He is so ticklesh and is always smiling and giggling! He loves being tickled on his sides and also on his thighs! He breaks out in the cutest little giggle that is very similar to Grace’s laugh! He is still sleeping very well.

He goes to bed between 4.30pm and 5pm and then wakes between 1am and 2am and then back down till nearly 6am. He just has a quick feed of a night and then goes back to sleep easily! I actually really enjoy the night cuddles with him when I am feeding. He is such a contented little fellow! He’s not too keen on sleeping in the pram…he would much rather his bed! I have managed to get out a bit with the 2 and it hasn’t gone too bad! Grace loves being in the toddler seat…grabbing at everything!

Xavier loves being in the bouncer. He loves kicking and grabbing the toys and laughing at them. He likes being on his tummy but a lot of the time he just rolls onto his back!

Grace is doing really well…except we had a bot of a shocker on Monday! She seemed to be doing everything to annoy me. I know that she wasn’t but that’s just how it felt at the time. She is great most of the time and is fantastic if I have to do anything for Xavier. She is happy to just let me put him into bed and she plays by herself. She has 1 puzzle that she loves doing over and over again. She is actually really good at it and knows where all the pieces go! I am going to get her some for her birthday. She is picking up new words all the time and copies everything that we say. She saw me the other day expressing some milk from my nipple and now she tried to squeeze hers to get something out! She was even trying to suck on her own boob! So funny!

We are attempting to toilet train but not much luck yet! I am finding it hard to get the time to concentrate on it. I am always getting interrupted and having to rush to Xavier. She knows when she needs to go but she hasn’t actually done a full wee or poo on the toilet...just finishes them!!

Logan is here!

Today my best friend Nicole gave birth to her much wanted and longed for baby boy. Logan was born at 1.28pm weighing in at 7lb 7oz.

Trudy and I went to visit him last night and he is sooo cute! He has lots of really dark hair and is absolutely gorgeous! Nicole wasn’t so good. She was in a lot of pain from the caesarean and had been vomiting a lot. She was so excited to meet her little boy and they are both head over heals for him already! They are both going to be fantastic parents, Logan has chosen a very special family to join.

Xavier also became an instant best friend today. No iffs or butts, the boys are going to be best friends for ever! Well in Mummy & Aunty Cole's dreamland they are anyway!

They'll probably grow up and have plenty of fights and squabbles but we hope that they do remain friends.

Nicole and I have been friends for about 11 years now. We went to the same high school together but never really got to know each other there. She was one of the popular girls and I just had my close group of "not so popular" friends. Konnie was one of them, who funnily enough is now my cousin. I'll get to that story another time!

So I got to know Nicole a little bit in year 10. We stayed over at Sarah's house together a few times. It wasn't until year 11 that I really got to know her better.

What a fun year that was! The year of 1994.

I can't remember the details but we started hanging around with 2 of the Canadian exchange students. Ben & Heather. There was also Mandy & Marcus. We had so much fun together, we were the "Sexy Six".

We spent the whole year getting up to innocent mischief. Pooling all our money together to buy cheap casks of wine, camping out at Mandy's house drinking, cruising around Devonport in my little corrola & spending all our spare time at the beach.

We all became such great friends, all sharing the same sense of humour.

When the 2 Canadians headed back home we all promised that we would meet up again. Nicole and Mandy had planned to go to Canada after year 12. I really wanted to go to Uni so I thought that I would wait until after I had finished my degree.

Nicole & stayed close during year 12, but we both had boyfriends to keep us busy. I was in my first true relationship & I was lovestruck.

However it all came crashing down towards the end of the year. I remember being in the school library crying over goodness knows what and Nicole came in and saw me. She said "Well why dont you come to Canada with me?" And it was then that I decided to defer Uni and just go.

We spent the rest of the year frantically trying to save our money. We were both working ridiculous hours for crappy money, she was at Woolworths and I was at Chickenfeed. We tried to work out ways to make money, I vaguely remember a lamington drive being mentioned!! We had 2 garage sales, selling anything that we thought would help us get the cash together! I think we made a couple hundred dollars between us.

We finally got to leave on our big adventure on the 10th March 1996. Just 3 days after I turned 18 and a week since Nicole had.

Our travelling stories need a whole Blog to themselves! We have had so much fun together. I'll try and write them up another time!

So back to Nicole and I. We have shared so much together. Our lives actually run quite parallel. Our Mum's were even in the same hospital at the same time when we were born. Her birthday is the 3rd March and mines the 7th March. We both met our future husbands within months of each other, and as it turned out they were both budding golfers who get on fantastically!

It was bound to happen then we would have children around the same age. Our boys are 8 weeks apart.

~Our baby bumps, me on the left @ 37 weeks & Nicole on the right @ 25 weeks~

I am so blessed to have Nicole in my life. It's not just her that I have as a friend she also shares her 3 wonderful sisters with me. I always wanted a sister, but as hard as Mum tried all she could manage was 4 stinky brothers!!

One of Nicole's sisters has also turned into one of my bestest friends. I also hold the privelege of introducing her to her now husband, Murray. That's a whole other story too.

Actually now that I think about it, I don't want our boys to grow up as best friends. I want them to grow up as family that are also friends. That's kinda how I look at Nicole's family now. I have adopted them as my own family, whether they like it or not!!

Anyway....little off track!

Welcome to the world baby Logan. We all love you very much.

Loving Two

I found this poem the other day and it really sums up how I am feeling! I know that it will all work out in the end but I can’t help but feel that I wont be able to love another child as I love Grace! I already love my little unborn boy but it still doesn’t seem as much as I love Grace. It will be fine I know.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me.‿ And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t,‿ knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him—as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you—only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.I love you—-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life. —Author Unknown

8th April 2007

Well it’s Easter Sunday and poor Gracie didn’t even get to eat any chocolate today! We are being mean parents and have decided not to give her any for a while yet! I really wanted to get some yoghurt frogs for her but couldn’t find them anywhere! Duane and I each got a small present. I got a box of tiny humpty dumpty’s and Duane got a Guerlein egg with 2 choc bars!

We had breakfast here this morning with Duane’s parents. Yummy omelets! Then just spent the rest of the day laying around playing with Gracie…in between trips to the spa!

Gracie has also gone down to 1 sleep each day! She was having 2 up until about a week ago but then she was finding it hard to go to sleep at her normal time! Some night she wasn’t going to bed until about 8.30….and that is just way toooooo late for us considering I go to bed just after that! So we have been on project “keep Gracie awake until at least 10.30’! She has only been sleeping for about 1 ½ hours but by about 6pm she is exhausted and goes to bed without a fuss. However she has been waking at about 5.30….I am hoping that she will start to stretch this out!! It’s not too bad I guess…she lets me sleep longer and just plays and dozes in our bed!

Also for a while now she has been having conversations on her play mobile! It’s so cute to watch. She says hello and then talks in her a little jibber…goes silent for a bit as if she is listening to what the other person is saying. She then jibbers again and sometimes acts like she is laughing at what they are saying. It is so cute...I really should try and video it! I guess she must copy us on the phone…she is such a little mimicker!! Also yesterday she came out with lipstick all around her mouth! She had got into the top drawer in the bathroom and had found my (probably only!!) lipstick! She even let me take a photo of her with a trampy look on her face!!

Blobby #2 is kicking a lot lately. Also I am feeling lots of tightness and also lots of rolling! I couldn’t find the heartbeat the other day but it seems he had moved to the other side! Duane also said that I am starting to snore a lot…especially when I am lying on my back! I know that I shouldn’t do this but somehow I end up on my back overnight and then wake up really sore the next day!

5th April 2007

Well tomorrow starts the 4 day long weekend for Easter! It will be nice to spend the time with my little family of Gracie, Duane & I! We are going to go for a picnic tomorrow and then maybe a BBQ at Lisa’s house! Saturday Duane will be playing golf in the afternoon whilst Gracie and I go Easter egg shopping! We are not going to get any chocolate for Gracie….maybe just some yoghurt frogs! That doesn’t mean that we miss out though…Duane wants Guirlein and I want Lindt….Yummo!

Gracie seems to have a reaction every time she eats a lot of citrus fruit. She has a urine scold and it burns her bum! She had it awhile ago after a big feed of Pineapple and then again the other day after an orange. The other night she was up for about 2 hours crying and not wanting to put her bum down. She was trying to sleep on her head…kinda in the dog yoga pose!! I thought that maybe she had done a poo so I checked her nappy and there was nothing It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized that she had a really bad scald! Poor little poppet! It seems to be getting better now with lots of Nappy off time and cream.

She is being incredibly cute though. She loves feeding her dolly her water cup. And then tonight she dragged over the pink tri pillow (the one I always breast fed her on), she layed it on her lap and then fed her dolly the milk from her cup! She still seems fascinated by my boobs when she sees them but hasn’t tried to feed again!

We went to 2 different playgroups this week. The first one was in Nerang on Tuesday and the second was at Mermaid Waters. I don’t’ think that we will be going to the Nerang one again….a few to many ferals! It’s a shame because it is fairly small and organized quite well but I didn’t really like how a few of the mothers treated there kids. The spoke quite nastily to them and I really don’t want Gracie around that. The other one was good but very big. I think we might try the other one at the PCYC in Nerang and then if that’s no good I’ll go with Jenni (a mothers group Mum) on Thursday to the one in Mudgeeraba. Gracie really enjoys playing with all the other kids. She usually runs off and joins in with whatever they are doing. She especially loves playing with the older kids!

I had a few tummy pains the other night. I think that they might have been stretching pains because they were on both sides of my stomach. Some days I feel really big and heavy and then others I don’t feel big at all!

29th March 2007

We had our midwife visit with Tracey at the birth centre today. Gracie and Duane came along too. Gracie had so much fun running around the room, and wanting to jump in the bath!

Everything is going well with Blobby#2. There dates are about 24 weeks….but I am thinking it’s more like 26 weeks! I guess we will see at the end who is right!! Tracey asked if I was interested in getting the birth photographed by a professional photographer for free. The lady wants to use birth centre photos for a seminar that she is attending! I am definitely interested. I think that it would be so special to have those moments on camera!! I hope that we can! We talked about Gracie birth and what I liked about that and what I would like to have changed. I told her that I will probably beg for an epidural but I don’t really want it! Just to talk me out of it! Also that I don’t want the baby bathed and I want Gracie to come in after we have had a feed! My blood pressure was good (100/60) and all my urine tests were fine. I am starting to get a lot more kicks now but still mainly on the outsides. Lots of rolling movements too which makes me feel a little sick sometimes! Duane is feeling the baby a lot more now too!

I weigh about 70kgs now but I am starting to fell quite heavy. I think that I definitely look preggars now but a few people have told me not really! My belly is a similar shape compared to Gracie. I tend to carry from the sides not all out in front.

Grace's last feed

Well we got home at about 1am this morning but Duane still managed to go to work at 6am.

Gracie woke at about 6am so I bought her in bed with me to get a little extra sleep! I was wearing a singlet top that always slides and exposes my boobs! Well Gracie must have had a flashback to a week ago and latched on!

I couldn’t believe it!

I didn’t want to say no to her so I just let her go! She fed for about 10mins and seemed to be enjoying it! It didn’t hurt which I was quite surprised about!

When she tried to feed of the other side, but after having a break it hurt me a lot! I guess it was dry sucking! She hasn’t asked again so I really think that now she has fully weaned! I am a bit sad but I am also grateful that we got to feed for so long!

Our last feed was very enjoyable for us both! I spent the whole time gazing at her and thinking how much my little newborn baby had grown up! When she had finished she pulled off and gave me her cheesiest smile! I thought then that this was our last! I have decided to do a collage of all our feeding photos and have it made into a black and white canvas! It will be something that she can keep! I am sure that at times it will be embarrassing to her but when she gets older she might appreciate how beautiful this time was for us together!

If this is our last time, I want to remember a few things.

I am so proud that we both stuck it out for this long!
The early days were tough.
We battled through 3 days of not attaching and syringe feeding.
Hundreds of different nurses banging your head and my boobs together like a pair of symbols,
The horrendous crack on my right nipple when my milk came in,
Your delicate little mouth trying desperately to attach to my engorged boobs, but just slipping everywhere,
The constant recurring bouts of thrush, the shocking pain,
Poor Mummy crying every time you were due for a feed, curling my toes as you attached and praying that you stayed there,
But then things got better,
You started getting stronger and less sleepy,
Feeds got shorter and weren’t painful,
It was now quite easy,
I really enjoyed our special feeding times,
Seeing in your eyes just how much you loved it,
That cute little half cry, half giggle just before feed time,
The little dribble of milk coming out of your smiling mouth,
I will always have the fondest memories of feeding you, my beautiful Grace.

We made it to 16 months! Hip Hip Hooray for us!!

~Feeding Grace @ 2 weeks old~