27th February 2007

Well Gracie has officially weaned herself off the night feed! She hasn’t had it for 4 nights now and doesn’t seem to miss it! She has a cup of milk before she goes to bed and her excitement about milk has passed over to that! She is still enjoying her morning slurp though! It’s so cute when she has finished she looks up at me with the cheekiest grin. I always ask her if it was yummy and she nods her head in agreement!! I wonder how long that feed will last now??? Also I wonder if I will be lopsided?? Ever since she cut down to only 2 feeds she has had lefty for breakfast and righty for tea! She is still only having lefty for breaky…but it all seems fine though!

Grace is really starting to gain her own independence now! We went to get the fruit and veg yesterday and she was very insistent about picking out EVERYTHING! I only got to hold the bag and scrutinize her choices from afar! She just loves helping with everything that we do! Sometimes it is a good help but most of the time it just means more work for me!!

I really don’t mind though…I love her exploring and working out things for herself! One form of her exploring that is becoming quite embarrassing is that with her mouth!! She loves the feel of all different things in her mouth…very unusual things!! For example we were at pathology today waiting for Duane to have his blood test. Gracie was touching a wall that was very textured…all bumpy! Now it would have been fine just feeling it with her hands but no she wanted to feel it with her tongue! She started licking the wall! Every time I pulled her away and tried to distract her she went straight back to it and started licking again! It must have looked strange to everyone lese waiting!!

Oh another thing she did this morning as we were waiting! I was standing up (everyone else seated) ready to pounce on Grace if she went somewhere she wasn’t allowed! I called out to her and she came running at me full pelt and grabbed my legs in a big hug! That would have been nice also but she then decided to pull down on my skirt…nearly revealing everything to the “audience”! Nothing was revealed…but I must remember to be aware for this next time I am in a skirt (all the time!!)

Now back to the mouth thing! I also caught her the other day lying on the floor trying to get the door stop in her mouth! She often goes up to the dog’s wide mouth trying to get them to lick the inside of her mouth, and then she laughs her head off!

The dreaded heartburn started with a vengeance yesterday! It’s still not too bad but it has made me remember how bad it can be! You feel the burning flame coming up your throat, sometime into your mouth and the worst is when acids come up all the way! Yuck! Off to the shops for quick-eze for me I think!

Baby has been kicking a lot more now. I am still mainly feeling them on the left side…I think I even felt a bit of rolling the other day! I can feel a little it at the front but it is a lot duller! I am feeling fine, more energy now. I can’t believe that I am just over half way now! I really want to enjoy this pregnancy…It could potentially be my last which is sad! Nicole is still having trouble with M/s…maybe she is having twins???

I taught myself to knit a few weeks ago! I really enjoy it and have knitted Grace 2 woolen soakers to wear over her nappies at night! They actually didn’t turn out too bad for a first attempt…and they work which is a bonus!

Duane is still not feeling well. He went back to the Dr yesterday and had blood tests done today! I hope that the can work out what is wrong with him because he has no energy and has already lost 8 kgs! I am thinking that he is just slower to get over the tummy bug…I hope that’s what it is anyway!

23rd February 2007

Well it has been weird weather here lately. It has rained everyday which is nice and refreshing but as the day progresses it gets muggy again! The backyard is so wet and sodden! All the weeds seem to be growing at such a fast rate…too fast for us to keep up!

Duane mowed the lawn yesterday…it was getting to be about a foot long! Gracie and I swept up the lawn clippings from the concrete. She had the little broom and I had the big one! She loves getting involved in what we are doing and trying to help. This morning I swept the front yard and she remembered and grabbed her broom and started picking the piles and trying to put them into the bin. It was so cute!

For the last few months Gracie has been an absolute angel going to bed. At about 8.30 in the morning I ask her if she is tired and wants to go to sleep and if she does she heads up to the bedroom and waits for me to put her in the cot. Gee it makes life easier! She also does this for her sleep at about 1.30pm! I usually peek in on her and she is just happily laying there playing with her dummies (she has about 6 in the cot with her!!) She very rarely wakes up crying…usually I don’t even hear her through he monitor! I just check on her from about 1 hour onwards!

For her nighttime routine she has a bath (if we are organized!!) then has a nuddy run out in the lounge! After we have a struggle getting her pj’s on (she loves being a nudie!!) she starts getting all excited because it is milk time! She looks for her pillow and then does this cute little half laugh half cry thing! She then runs up to me all excited! I feed her (in between her laughing at me and pulling on and off!) then Daddy takes her to bed after a kiss and cuddle! She goes into bed and we usually don’t hear a peep out of her for the next 11-12hrs! Absolute bliss! And now everything with Gracie sleep is perfect we are going to turn our world upside down again and start again with the new bub!

I always have a peek on her just before I go to bed…I love seeing what sort of position she has chosen to sleep in!

I am now about 21 weeks pregnant and starting to definitely feel preggars! My tummy is quite definite and I am starting to fell a lot more movement. By this time with Gracie I was feeling movement all the time but it seems that this time the placenta is at the front (anterior) and cushioning the babies kicks! I seem to be able to feel them from the side or faintly from the front. My back is also starting to hurt and every now and then I have trouble with my sciatica on the left side. Apart from all that I feel great…I have to keep up with Gracie!

I am still feeding Gracie! We had a lovely moment the other night when I was feeding her bubs was kicking! I don’t think that it would have been strong enough for Gracie is realize but it was nice for me!

Well it’s still the 23rd but later in the evening! Gracie had her usual bedtime routine however something different happened! She came up to get her milk had 1 suck and came off laughing! This happened quite a few times! I kept on offering it to her and she would take a sip and then come off and laugh at me! I know that there was milk because every time that she came off I was leaking. She started doing this last night so I guess that she is weaning of this night feed! I’ll see how she goes tomorrow night and keep you updated!

17th February 2007

Duane has been sick for the last week. Constant Diarrhea and dehydrated! That has made life interesting looking after him and Gracie!

Gracie is being incredibly cute at the moment. She is learning so many new and exciting things! She loves to copy and tries her hardest to do the same things as us!

She follows me out to the clothesline and hands me up the washing to hang out. Only problem is she must think that I am super fast because she hands them up to me at lightening speed! After all the clothes are up she hunts around for all the old broken pegs, insisting that they should be put into the washing basket! She collects as many as she can…sometimes a few rocks are thrown in as well!

She adores being outside. She loves going in and out of her cubby house…and gets super excited if any of the dogs pay her a visit! She giggles and squeals with delight…even if they are just checking out her home through the window.

She also has a sand pit but only likes to enjoy it from the outside. She hates putting her feet or god forbid sit in sand. She barely likes getting her hands in it! We mainly just build sandcastles for her to destroy with her shovel or spade! She takes great pleasure in bashing down our masterpieces! With all the fun and exciting things that she has to do outside her all time favourite is the dog water bowl! She loves nothing more than to conquer the barriers that we have erected to keep her away from it. First she goes around the sandpit cover, crawls under the chairs and over to the enticing water! She loves just playing in the water and splashing it about everywhere. Sometimes we are lucky and she forgets its there…but as soon as she hears one of the dogs taking a big sip…..her eye’s light up and she is on a mission to get to it!

Gracie also loves giving herself dizzy whizzes! She goes round and round holding her arms out like a plane. She keeps going until she is obviously struggling to stay upright then she usually veers off or falls over. However she still has some control when she falls over…usually she goes into a headstand…kinda like “dog-pose” in yoga! It’s actually been one of her favourite things to do for a while now. Sometime she gets into her pose and waves at you with both hands…balancing on her head! She loves being upside down! Crazy kid!!

Grace's Birth

~Grace Lily~

27th November 2005

10.08pm

2904gms (6lb 6oz) 49cm

For some reason I never really felt nervous about giving birth. I had read and been told all of the horrific stories….it’s a shame nobody really shares the good ones!! I had a dream earlier on in my pregnancy that my labour and birth would be a really great experience, and I guess I clung to this the whole time. I hadn’t organized a birth plan we just wanted Duane to be there and cut the cord. I had also asked my mum and Duane’s mum to be there too.

Based on my last period I had worked out my due dates to be the 28th November, however after my first scan this was revised to 4th December. This was changed again after my 20week scan to the 6th December. I always had a feeling that Grace would come early….before the end of November. I had arranged Mum’s flight from Tassie for the 28th November….fairly sure that this would be a safe date!!

I had a very uneventful pregnancy. I actually really enjoyed it and never got to a point that I was over it. I loved the feelings of movement and this is something that I miss even now. I was just amazed through the whole process how your body copes and the changes that it makes to grow the little baby! It is such a beautiful time! At 35weeks I went for my usual weekly check up and was told that my blood pressure was up and there was protein in my urine. I was sent home and put on complete bed rest for 3 days. Trudy and I had organized to go shopping at the new Westfield…..I was very disappointed that I couldn’t go! Once I realized that if my blood pressure didn’t go down there was a chance that I would have to go to hospital and could be induced or even have a Caesar I was very scared. I called Mum when I left the doctor’s and I was crying, mainly because I really didn’t want to have a Caesar.

I went home and rested and when I went back for my next appointment my blood pressure had come down again. My blood pressure stayed up slightly until my 38 week appt, when it was up high again. I was told to go rest in the surgery for 10mins and have it taken again. If it hadn’t gone down I was going to hospital. It was also at this appt that the Dr told me that she was concerned that her head hadn’t started to engage yet. She told me that it should have happened at about 36weeks and because it hadn’t could indicate that my pelvis was too small for the babies head. This would mean that they would trial me in labour, but there was another chance that I would have to have a caeser. My blood pressure had gone down a little bit, but she did say that I could go to hospital and be induced if I want! She said “don’t you want to meet your baby now”…I wasn’t quite ready and plus my mum wasn’t going to be here until next Monday. That was when my next appointment would be and it was nearly definite that I would be induced then. I called mum and asked her if she wanted to come up on the Saturday, just in case. She said she would if I really wanted to but Stephen (my little brother) was starting a new job and she needed to help him out.

I spent the week just pottering at home and on the Friday went out to lunch with the girls from Jalpak. I felt really good, but the pressure from standing up was starting to hurt. On the Saturday morning I got up with Duane and did my usual morning toilet run. It was then that I noticed dried blood in my pajamas. I didn’t really know what this was so I quickly grabbed my pregnancy book and had a read. I wasn’t sure if it was my plug or not. I read that if it was it didn’t mean Labour would start straight away so I just told Duane to go to work and I would call if anything was happening. I did actually call the hospital and they said that it can be anything up to a week away…so just relax! I was really calm…but a bit giggly to think that it had all started! Duane seemed really calm, but as soon as he left for work he called his mum to come up and stay with me!

Wendy came up at about 7.30am….but nothing seemed to be happening. I spent the day cleaning out the study for Mum to stay in.

Saturday night at about 6.45pm I asked Duane to get me some icecream with walnuts and ice magic. When he bought it over to me I yelled at him for not having enough ice magic on it! He told me off for speaking to him like that. I told him that I was sorry but not very comfortable at the moment I was starting to get little pains!!

We went to bed at about 9.30…I was waking about every 20-30mins with little period cramps. They were nothing too bad….I think that I even slept through a few. The next morning when I woke up I was still having the pains but I felt really calm and relaxed. Duane went and got fruit loaf and the papers and we sat out the back having a nice relaxing breakfast. I had some panadol, thinking this might just take the edge off. Duane called his mum and she came straight over. I just made Duane promise that I could stay at home as long as I wanted to. When Wendy got here my pains were still only really slight, but she was a little worried as they were about 5-6 mins apart. She thought that at this stage I should be at the hospital. I didn’t want to go; I really believed that when I need to go my body would let me know. I did call the hospital at 9.30am and the midwife that I spoke to said to stay at home until the pain was unbearable. When I told her that they were about 5 mins apart, she said “so have you had one since talking to me” and I said “just finished one actually” She said I wouldn’t be in labour if I could still hold a conversation. I told the midwife that my mother in law was worried that I wouldn’t make it to the hospital and she told me that she must watch too much ER and I probably had another 24hours to go.

I called Trudy, and her and Murray came over to visit. I was still having pains! (I was in denial and didn’t want to call them contractions) I felt fine though. I did have to start standing up and breathing through them though. I hadn’t done any classes but I had read if you tense up and hold your breath it makes them worse. Nicole came over and helped me finish setting up Gracie’s room. We put the pictures and light up. I was still having contractions but as long as I stopped and stood up all was fine! At about 4pm they were starting to get a little painful, Wendy and Duane suggested that we go to the hospital. I really didn’t want to but went anyway. When we got to the delivery suites, Duane picked up the phone and told the midwife that his wife was expecting a baby. This just cracked me up, and when the midwife opened the door I said” I’ve some to pick up my baby!” As soon as I said this she said that I wasn’t in labor as I was laughing and joking! She hooked me up to the monitor to check the contractions and the baby’s heartbeat. My contractions were a little irregular and still only about 5 mins apart. Grace’s heartbeat was fine….but she had fallen asleep so it didn’t look like anything was going to happen. She gave me an internal and I was only ½ cm dilated. She sent me home with some sleeping tablets and panadol and said that nothing would probably happen for another day or so!

We got home at about 6pm. When I got home the pain was starting to get stronger. Not unbearable but enough for me to not do anything in between but relax. I wanted to hold off taking the sleeping tablets for as long as I could. I wasn’t sure how long they would last for, but I guessed about 6-8 hours. I wanted to take them as late as I could so that I could sleep the whole night. I spent about ½ hour in my bedroom trying different positions to get comfortable…at one stage I was laying on the floor squeezing Daisy’s paws! She didn’t seem to mind though. Duane ran me a bath. it was really nice to feel the water but because our bath was so small I couldn’t fit my whole body in so my belly poked out! I just poured water over it which helped. My pains were starting to spread to my back. It was like a tightening of my lower stomach and lower back. I just concentrated and breathed through them. Wendy left whilst I was in the bath. I got out of the bath at about 6.30 and decided that I wanted to take the sleeping tablets. I was unsure how soon they would kick in so I kept walking from our bedroom to the pool table, which was at the far end of the house. I just wanted to keep upright; I found I dealt with it better this way. I wasn’t timing my contractions but I was having 2 every return trip. I would lean over the dining chairs and just breathe. By about 7.15 the sleeping tablets didn’t seem to have kicked in but the pain had! I got Duane to call the hospital and ask when the tablets would kick in…I needed to know! He must have said on the phone that it didn’t sound like I was getting any relief and so they suggested that I go in for a shot of pethadine to let me sleep.

We got back in the car and headed back to the hospital. As I was getting into the car 2 women walked past our house. One of them said that they hoped I felt better soon…I mustn’t have looked too good with the hot water bottle over my stomach. I just told them that I thought I was in labor and I was on the way to the hospital!

We didn’t have time to park the car…we just left it in the turning circle! I really thought that I was just going to get my shot of pethadine and then head home! We got up to the birthing suite a little after 8. I wasn’t feeling too bad…but I kept a sad face on so that they didn’t think I wasn’t in labour! It was the same midwife and she took me to a suite and got me up on the table to do another internal. I was 3cms (8.20pm) by this time & my contractions were about 3 mins apart! The midwife said then that I would probably have another 7 hours to dilate and then up to an hour of pushing as this was my first baby. My contractions started to become quite painful and I couldn’t believe that I was going to be in even more pain for the next 8 hours. I really didn’t think that I could cope for that long. The midwife could see that the contractions were starting to get painful and offered me the gas.

At this stage I was happy to take drugs. I hadn’t really thought about pain relief before, I just knew that I didn’t really want an epidural. I was a little scared about the needle going into my back. I started on the gas…not really sure if I was sucking it right but it gave me something to concentrate on. This bit is a bit of a blur but I remember just leaning over the bed with Duane rubbing my back. I think that the midwife went and got a heat pack to put on my back. I think that it helped but I remember asking Duane “Why is something so natural so painful??” It was 8.45pm and I was leaning over the side of the bed when I felt a weird sensation and then a pop. I looked down and saw a puddle of water tinged with pink. I turned to Duane and said “I guess that’s my waters breaking!” I remember calling out to the Midwife to tell her that they had broken and for some reason feeling very excited. The midwife grabbed a towel and wiped up the water and I then she looked at me a little weird. Looking back now I think that she then realized that things might be going a little quicker than expected.

As soon as my waters broke the pain intensified. I can’t remember there being a break between my contractions, I think that they were on top of each other. I couldn’t comprehend that the pain could get any worse so I asked for an epidural. The Dr was notified but I was told that the operating theatre was busy and there was a 40 minute wait. I couldn’t believe that I was going to have to put up with this pain for another 40mins!!! It must have been the gas talking because I was starting to get very paranoid. I thought that it was a conspiracy to keep the epidural away from me. The Dr came in to put the canular in for the epidural. He looked vaguely familiar and I thought that he was the trainee sonographer that had done my last scan. I kept on asking if he was a trainee and pleading for my epidural. I know that I didn’t really want the epidural but once I decided to have it I wanted it NOW. I still was a little paranoid that they were just telling me it was coming. I remember telling the Dr He was lying and “bullshit” it was coming. As it turned out they were telling the truth! I was standing at the end of the bed sucking the gas for dear life. Duane was on the right hand side of me whist the Dr had my left hand trying to get the canular in. I can’t even remember the pain of the needles going in, but I vaguely remember that he had trouble getting a vein. He had 2 goes at the top of my hand and blood was going everywhere. I just remember sucking on the gas and I don’t think that I was too cooperative in keeping still for him. At one stage I was just sucking on the mouth piece of the gas, it wasn’t even hooked up! I felt that the gas wasn’t working so I kept trying to turn the machine up. I think that the midwife turned it down a few time and I was hitting the machine to turn it back up. I also told the hospital to “pay there gas bill” because I kept thinking that the gas had run out. Even though it felt at the time that the gas wasn’t working I think it gave me something to concentrate on. I probably would have been fine with just the mouth piece!

I was still wondering where my epidural had gone. The Dr was still having trouble getting the canular in and blood was going everywhere. I asked if there was a problem and he kept saying no problem but please keep still. I looked over and Duane was slumped in the chair in the corner. I though he looked really relaxed (he was actually nearly passing out because of the blood) and asked if they had given him my epidural. I remember thinking “bastards” that was mine! I also offered him my gas but he declined! Once the canular was in I went in to the shower, it was now 9pm. It was now that I had to give up the gas…the cord wouldn’t reach to the shower!!

The shower felt beautiful. I was on the fit ball with 1 hose on my tummy and Duane with another on my back. It felt so nice with the warm water. I was just rocking and moaning. I was moaning and making weird noises through a contraction. When it had finished I looked up and Kerry the midwife was standing above me with a puzzled look on her face. She said that if I needed to go to the toilet to let her know. I thought “as if I am going to be able to go to the toilet!!!” Even though the toilet was right behind me there was no way I could even have been bothered to move to there!!! I didn’t understand that she thought I was nearing to push.

I was only in the shower for 30 mins, but had managed to flood the bathroom. I had somehow got the fitball over the drain and no way were they going to tell me to move it!! I must have started to make some weird noises again and also mentioned that I wanted to do a poo. Kerry was back and asked me to go to the bed to get checked again. She did an internal and I was fully dilated. Wow I had gone from 3cms at 8.20pm to 10cms at 9.30pm!! Once I was on the bed a new nurse came in for something & I asked if she was going to give me my epidural!! I was way too gone for one but I still had it in my head that I was getting one. Kerry & the Dr just laughed! I had the uncontrollable urge to push. It was such a primal and overwhelming urge…there was no way that I could stop it. I didn’t understand that you didn’t push from your vagina. Nobody had told me that’s not how you did it. For the first few pushes I was getting it all wrong. Kerry put her finger on my perineum and told me to push there. It sure made things a lot easier! I was pushing about 3 times with every contraction. With each push it felt like my head was going to blow off. It felt like I was pushing for ages and I was starting to get a little disheartened. I put my hand down and felt the baby’s head…I could feel hair. The Dr, Kerry & Duane kept telling me how well I was doing. They got a mirror and I could see only about the size of a 20 cent piece of her head. I couldn’t believe it I had been pushing for ages and that was all so far!! How was I going to get the rest out?

I watched with the mirror for a little bit but then decided to just concentrate on pushing. After a few more pushes her head started to crown and I got the “ring of fire” It fells like somebody is stabbing you with a red hot poker. I told Kerry that it was burning and they got a warm face washer and supported my perineum. This was instant relief. With the next push her head was out. I felt so in control with the next few pushes. My midwife didn’t guide me at all I really felt when I had to push and I had so much control over how much to push. Kerry and the Dr commented on how much control I had. I really believe that listening to my body prevented me from any tearing! It is such a weird feeling lying on the bed with a head hanging between your legs. I felt like I couldn’t lay flat, I just wanted to raise my lower back and bum of the bed. I really thought that I would squash her! After a little rest and then 1 more contraction the rest of her little body slivered out and delivered straight to my chest. That was the best feeling!! I loved that feeling of instant relief and emptiness. It felt like so much pressure inside me and then after she was born just instant emptiness and relief. She came on to my tummy…my little purple, gooey, gorgeous girl! Grace Lily Penney, born at 10.08pm. Just 2 hours after arriving at the hospital! My instant thoughts were that she was a boy because of her swollen “bits” but they reassured me that she was a girl.

~Relieved and exhausted Mummy~