New Eyes

Just over the last few weeks my eyes have been giving me terrible grief. If I spend any large amount of time on the computer or reading, my eyes start straining to keep focus and my head usually steps up from an ache to a pounding thump. Not great for me considering I spend a lot of time on my laptop and always read a book for about half hour before bed. I don't watch much tv anymore, nothing on really interests me, so I spend most of the evening facebooking, blogging and just wandering around cyberspace. Oh, I am watching my very first series of Idol at the moment. An old boyfriend has made it into the top 12, he's a great guy and I hope he gets to show how great a musician he is. Duane's a fan, so every Sunday night at 6.30pm we sit down to see how he is going. I have his very first recording, so of course if he wins I'll be selling it on e-bay for a tidy profit. Kidding.

Anyway back to my dodgy eyes. I was having a bit of trouble with them way back when I was working for JAL, I put that down to too much stress plus sitting in front of a computer all day long. So, I've really put it off for 6 years now. Finally I decided to get it all checked out.

One of the women at playgroup is an optometrist, so today when I just had Xav I headed over to OPSM for a eye test. Apparently I have "floaters" in my left eye, which explains the strange wiggly shapes I sometimes get. They aren't a problem and are fairly common, so nothing to worry about. After I had read the letters from left to right, top to bottom and back to front, then had a light shone right into my eyes, it was decided that I am long sighted. So, I have perfect vision for things far away, but up close I might need some help. So, I need spectacles. It's not too bad, but enough to warrant glasses for long stretches on the computer or reading. I couldn't believe the difference in my vision once I had tried on the trial glasses they use to test the lenses out. Kate asked me to read a line with out the glasses on and then with them. Although I could read it fine without, once I had the glasses on the words were completely still. I realise now that I have to really concentrate to keep focused on the words and by having to do that, it's straining my eyes to the point of getting headaches.

So, this week sometime I'm taking my husband out frame shopping. I'm hoping to get away with it nice and cheap, but geez I can't wait to be able to read without the furrowed brow and squinty eyes.

Other news....

Grace......

Oh my, this little girl is growing even more wonderful by the day. We are having so much fun together and she really is the most delightful little lady. The moments of wanting to donate her to charity are dwindling and now I am finding that I can't bare to be away from her at all. She's just being so sweet and thoughtful, I want to be with her all the time. Her manners are beautiful and she is really starting to understand good and bad choices - whether it be food or behaviour. If she's not sure she is going to do the right thing, she asks me "Mummy, do you mind if I do this?"

We have a little button system happening at the moment which is working perfectly to encourage good behaviour and discourage negative behaviour from both kids. It's a tiny little baby food jar, and when I notice the kids being exceptionally polite, helpful or kind they get to choose a button to put in the jar. Of course it works in reverse too, and if any negative behaviour happens they have to take a button out - 2 if it's really bad. I asked the children to choose something special to do once the jar is full and Grace has decided that she would like a family party with cakes, singing, games and dancing. The jar is only a quarter full, as I am reluctant to offer buttons just for any occasion and making it loose its "specialness" There is a standard of behaviour and general helpfulness that I believe should happen anyway, not just because their is a reward. So the buttons have generally just been used for exceptional behaviour, where either child has made a conscious decision to make the right choice. I'm also using it to change a few moments of the day that have been causing me grief. Getting the kids dressed and ready of a morning was starting to get ridiculous. They would both just strip off and run around the house yelling "Nuddie bums" and laughing hysterically. I got so over it one day (pre-buttons) and told them both that if they weren't dressed before it was time to go they were going as they are. Well, 2 little naked kids ended up out at the car, however once they realised that I was serious about it, they both were eager to get dressed. Since the button system, getting dressed of a morning has become a quick, painful operation.

Anyway, back to Grace. She spends the day singing and dancing, mostly singing all the little songs and verses that she pick up from pre-school and playgroup. She often just comes up and tell me how beautiful I am or how much she loves me. I can't help but smother her in kisses and revel in her sweetness. She has no hesitation in telling those close to her how much she loves them and why. She is thoroughly enchanted with both baby Lucie and little Jasper, always begging to go see them. She has a beautiful, nurturing maternal side that is just begging for a newborn in the house to lavish. Hopefully it's still around when we decide on #3!

Her imagination is just booming. When she really concentrates on telling a story, it is full of wonderful descriptions and such a glimpse into how her little mind works at the moment. She loves her dollies and spends all day with one strapped to the front of her like a sling as she goes about her playing. She tells me all the time that she is gong to have 2 baby girls when she gets older and she is going to lay on the couch and just feed them. She tells me that when her babies cry she'll either rock, feed or burp them, cause that's what they'd want. She's definitely got the attachment parenting thing down pat!

Every morning when she wakes, the first thing she asks is "What are we doing today Mum?" She is so excited by life and every day to her is another day of fun and discovery. I love her eagerness and excitement at doing both new things or just going about our normal days.

I really just want to stop and freeze the 2 kids ages right now. They are so easy and wonderful and our days are just so much fun. I get enough time to myself during the day to not feel overloaded and the times that we spend together are mostly full of laughs and joy.

Grace has developed a strange phobia of blood though. It all started a few months back when she was having all the tummy pain problems. My mil is a diabetic so has the insulin tester thingy to test blood sugar levels. It had been suggested that Grace may have diabetes as it runs so prominently through our family, so we decided to check to see if her levels were within normal range. She wasn't keen at first, so Wendy did hers first, so she could see that it was a simple prick and didn't hurt. She was ok, until Wendy was massaging her finger to get the blood coming. Graces face went so pale and she ran over and hid on the couch. She kept saying she felt sick and started dry retching. We didn't react to her, just explained that it didn't hurt Grandma. Grace immediately went pale and buried herself into the couch. She started holding her mouth, then the next second she was dry retching. She just kept saying over and over that she was feeling sick and needed a drink. It was an unbelievably strong reaction to the sight of the blood, considering she had never had a bad experience with blood before.

A couple of weeks after that Grandma came to visit after having a blood test. Everything was fine until Wendy knocked the band aid off it and because Wendy is on blood thinners, the needle spot was puring out with blood. Once again, Grace took one look and ran away pale faced and clutching her mouth as she dry retched.

I'd kinda forgotten about it all until last week at one of my Mothers groups meets. We were around at Nicole's house and the kids had all started rising from their afternoon sleeps. Malia always gets eaten by mosquito's, and then the bites get infected and itchy for her. She came out of the bedroom with blood dripping from one of the bites that she had been scratching in her sleep. Grace took one look, went white then layed down on the couch. I could tell she wasn't feeling too well, so I comforted her with cuddles and some water and explained that Malia wasn't hurting it was just from the mosquito bites. She then started to dry retch and continued to look pale and ill, luckily she didn't vomit though. She got herself so worked up about the blood, that she layed down on the couch and went to sleep. She was still talking about Malia's blood that night and when I asked her why she was upset about it she just said that it made her feel sick seeing it. I know as a kid I wasn't that great with blood either, so maybe it's one of my funny little traits that I have passed down to her? I've only gotten better with blood and needles since having my kids, but hopefully Grace wont take that long to get over hers or our dreams of being a Mother and Daughter midwife team wll have to be squashed. I'll be the wise old woman with all the knowledge and she'll be the energetic new puck with all her new "ideas" that I'll tutt, tutt at whilst starting stories with "Back in my day we......." Ok, so they *may* be my dreams, but she's the one egging me on yapping on about how she wants to be like Midwife Tracey, even insisting on wearing her hair tied in a long plait just like hers.

She is really enjoying the Steiner Pre-school and also the afternoon playgroup that we do up at the school of a Thursday. I am so happy that we made the choice to send her to this school, it really is amazing. I want to go there! One of the things I really love about it is the level that they involve the parents. Grace doesn't go until 2011, but we are still welcome to come to all the school fairs/markets/festivals and also the parent information sessions that they do. It's so much different to the schools that I went to, so it's great to learn along with the kids. I could write and write about all the new things I've learnt so far from this environment, but might leave that for another post. Duane and I both feel so comfortable in our schooling choice, and it's a nice feeling to already be preparing Grace for her transition to Prep, even though its 18 months away. OMG, it really is. I can't believe my little baby girl is heading off to big school soon.

I watch her sometimes and I am still blown away that she is my little girl. She is captivating and endearing, and so much more than I could ever dream. I catch glimpses of how I imagine her to be as a she gets older - and it excites me to know that she is in my life and I'm going to be witnessing her growing up.

She is everything and more that I could ever want my own child to be.

Her are some latest pics of my gorgeous little girl: