Grace's 6th birthday celebrations

 Grace's 6th birthday celebrations were spread over Saturday, Sunday and Monday!  The day before her actual birthday, she invited 3 of her bestest school friends along ice skating.  She's been wanting to ice skate for a while now, so when we were going through the birthday ideas she knew exactly where she wanted to go. I was a bit worried about how they would go as none of them had been before, or even roller skated.  Duane and I were going to be playing hostesses on the ice, and although I had visions of us whirling the girls around, I probably shouldn't have dreamt so big as I havent' skated for over 10 years!

All ready to hit the ice!

The very excited birthday girl

The first lap we were all very tentative, and it felt like a very, very long time making it back to the start.  All the girls clutched onto the side rail and jaggedly made their way around.  I really though then that it would be a "one lap wonder" and we'd chalk it up to an "experience" and go back to the table and eat all the yummy food.  However, the girls were all just warming up and after gaining a bit more confidence and balance, were eager for another lap.  This time only clutching onto the rail with one hand.  It was only another few rounds like this before they were even more adventurous and started letting go and actually skating!!!  It was only a few slow laps for me too before I was back into the skating groove, then I ditched the kids for a few fast laps.  I'd forgotten how much fun it is to be zooming around the ice.  My only problem is I'd forgotten how to stop, and so after once quick lap, I slammed straight into the side barrier and did a very dramatic slide down.  Apparently looked very hilarious for the mums standing on the sidelines!

Grace skating up a storm

I'd opted not to take the birthday party food provided by the skate rink, I wasn't overly fussed with the options of party pies, sausage rolls and soft drinks!  So, instead I made up special little boxes for each of the guests.  Grace chose what she wanted in them, with each one having a chocolate milk, avocado sushi, chocolate cupcake, packet of chips, plain popcorn and a scattering of lollies.  The girls adored them, and were very excited that at the end they got to take their special little personalised boxes home.

Grace's hand-picked selection of treats!

All the girls loved it and are wanting to arrange another skating session over the holidays.  The hardest part was dragging them off the ice at the end, as by that stage they were all off by them self and didn't want to finish!

The next morning, on her actual birthday, Grace snuck into our bed bright and early for a cuddle.  After birthday hugs all round, we handed over the very much anticipated birthday gift - a camera.  Now, there is a bit of a back story to how this came about.  Grace has been wanting a camera for ages, but mostly over the last year.  She has had small turns of mine, but as my cameras are some of my most prized possessions, I've only let her use them under strict supervision.  When she asked for one last year, I was unsure whether she was ready for the responsibility and so we had a little test.  I gave her one of my old cameras, that had completely stopped working - so basically it looked good, but there was nothing she could do with it.  I told her that she had to prove to me she could look after it by always making sure it was put away safely and to never leave it lying around.  If she could do this, I was happy to buy her one for her 6th birthday.  She diligently looked after it all year.  She took it out places (even though it didn't work) and always made sure it was in a safe spot.  I was amazed at how serious she took upon the responsibility.  Although she knew that a camera might be in the pipeline for a present, she never nagged or asked about it - so when she did open it up and see that it was in fact a camera, she was over the moon.  It's a fancy schmancy water proof, drop proof, dust proof and most things proof camera.  It takes pretty decent photos and video and she is loving having the freedom to play photographer whenever she wants.  I do have to go through the footage every now and then, as she's managed to get some very unflattering photos and even video of Duane and I arguing about discussing something.  She's also got some great photos, and it's lovely to see her view of the world through the lens!

Grace VERY excited about getting her camera

Probably the only photograph I'll get of her now!

Sunday afternoon was spent down having a relaxing BBQ down at the beautiful Broadwater Rockpools.  It was a glorious day and such a perfect way to spend it surrounded by our favourite people.  Grace was extremely spoilt with presents, and so was I.  Apparently, I needed a present too (I guess I did do all the work 6 years ago!) and the very generous Pengs gave me an Ipad - an absolute top of the range one too!  I'm loving it too.  It's so ridiculously easy to be instantly on the Internet now, instead of starting up the old clanking laptop.  They also loaded Grace up with a massive box full of Country Road clothes and Xav

The kids danced, ran and played on the oval in the beautiful late afternoon sun - a perfect photo opportunity for me to take advantage of the golden light.  Grandma had also made up a pinata - which although took a bit to smash, was enjoyed by all.

 ~~ My beautiful girl and I ~~

Add caption

~~ Happy 6th birthday my sweetheart ~~

The celebrations were also extended into the following week as Grace had her birthday celebration at school.  She has been patiently waiting for her school celebration right from the beginning of the year.  Grace is one of the youngest in her class, as at her school the children have to have turned 5 before they start their prep year.  So she has sat through all her class mates birthday celebrations, with the anticipation building for her own and finally the day came.   Duane wasn't able to get the morning off work, so Wendy came along with Xav and I.  All her friends went into class when the bell was rung, except Grace stayed outside with us.  After a few minutes, her teacher came out singing "Somebody is having a birthday today, I wonder who's birthday it is today?".  Miss Pam put the special rainbow birthday cape on Grace as well as her crown that I'd slipped to her earlier.

We then headed into the classroom where we found all the children on the floor in a circle.  Grace had a special seat that had been decorated in gold material.  We all sat down and then Miss Pam told a beautiful story about a little girl called Grace and the birthday angel.  Grace was then asked to light the 6 birthday candles whilst all her class mates sung the school "birthday song". 

  

After the song, the children put their hand up and Grace called out their name one by one.  Each child said a birthday wish for Grace, which had me in tears.  Listening to each of the children articulate so thoughtfully things that they loved about Grace and why she is so special.  Most of them said how good a friend she is, and how they love playing with her.  Own of the boys said that he loves Grace as she always makes him feel happier when he is sad.  Another said that when no-one else will play with him, he always knows that Grace will.  The teachers then said their wishes for Grace.  Miss Pam told her she was one of the kindest and gentlest people that  she knows and how wonderful it has having her in the class this year.  She talked about a few special moments she'd had with Grace over the year - once again, tears from me!  I was then asked if I'd like to share something, and so I told her how amazing and wonderful I thought she was.  I also told her that that I love her kind and gentle nature and that she will always be my sunny little girl.  Miss Pam then presented Grace with a little yellow doll in a walnut shell that she had made especially for her. 

The rest of the day Grace wore her special cape and crown, sat in her decorated chair and got first pick of everything.  Although she's not fond of being the centre of attention, she loved her day being the birthday queen. 

~~ Heading up to the library after her birthday celebration ~~

Prep

It's been an exciting few weeks and I have so many blog posts to catch up on.  I've been so busy with Grace's birthday parties, birthday school celebration, summer festival, dance concerts and general end of year celebrations.  It really is a crazy time of year, and although I love it, I'll be glad when all the festivities are finished and the relaxing part of my holidays begin!

Today was Grace's summer festival concert.  Both the Prep classes did a play, taking us through their first year of school and all the wonderful experiences they have had.  Grace loved being up on stage with all her friends, especially as her, Jasmine and Lily got to be butterflies!  It was lovely, but sad, as this year is coming to an end very quickly.  The Prep year is just so magical and special, and it's been such a lovely introduction for Grace to school.  The whole class have absolutely adored the teachers this year, and I don't think we could have got anyone better if we hand-picked them our self.  It was an extra special year too, as it was Miss Pam's last, she's sailing away (literally, she lives on a yacht!) to Tasmania to do her masters in Psychology.  She is one of the kindest and caring people I've ever met and always makes the children feel extra special.  I was really worried at the beginning of the year about Grace adjusting to school, but Pam and Louise have given her the most beautiful start to her school life.  She has loved this year, but it's me that is sad about her moving onto the next grade.  She is so excited to be heading into Grade 1 and all the new things that come with that - having her own desk, being able to go to tuck shop by herself and playing up at the "big" school.  To me though, it means she really is growing up.  She has learnt so much in Prep, but I could kid myself and pretend it wasn't like real school - but Grade 1 is.  I'm really excited for her that she'll be learning new things, but the time is passing so quickly and I just need it to slow down a little.

Tomorrow is her special graduation ceremony and I think I may need to pack some tissues and dark glasses.

Free!! (nearly!)

Uni is nearly finished for the year and it couldn't be more welcomed - not just from me, but my whole family!  All my exams and assignments are done and dusted, now it's just the nervous wait for results.  I'm 99.9% confident that I passed, it's just whether my gpa is going to remain a healthy high 6 or take a dive - which will most likely be from damn research! I should find out results in a few weeks, and whatever I get I'll be proud!  This semester has been very busy and I am just grateful to be coming out the other end.

I've still got 5 shifts to finish at the hospital, and I'm hoping to get them finished this week - yes, I'll be busy and tired.  I just want to get them over and done with though, as I've got big plans for the summer break!  I've still got one lovely little baby to welcome into the world - little stinker is 8 days over today!  It will be a beautiful birth centre birth, which is always very special to me as that's where I birthed and met my little boy.  I've got my fingers crossed that tonight's the night, as I think poor mum is over being pregnant and just wanting to meet her little baby.  I'm very excited about this birth as it's one of my friends, so this baby will be in my life for many years to come!   I do get very attached the babies that I welcome, especially the ones where I've cared for the mum all through her pregnancy.  It feels like a break-up at the 6 week appointment, when have to say our goodbyes and that's why this one will be extra special. I'll get to watch the baby grow up from a slippery, slick newborn into a little person.   

I've got so many things I want to get done over the break.  I want to de-clutter and clean every room in the house, which is going to be a big, but very satisfying job (just have to sneak things out when Xav the hoarder is not around).  I have new curtains to sew and hang in the lounge room and lots of little craft projects to start and finish.  Grace's birthday is in 2 weeks, so I have her party to organise as well as her school celebration.  We have multiple Christmas carols to attend, as well as the schools summer festival and Grace's graduation ceremony from prep to year 1.  Then there are lots of bbq's, beach and picnic outings to have!  I'm so excited to actually have lots of time to do these things, all without thinking that I should be studying!  I'm free!!!  I can't wait for Grace to finish up at school and we can go back to the good old days of me being at home with the 2 kids, and doing as we please every day!  I'm very nostalgic for those days, although I do love what I'm doing now too. 

Anyway, I'm off to get a few hours sleep as I'm hoping (every things crossed!) that I get a call in the middle of the night to say a little baby is ready to join us xx

September

September has been and gone.  Spring was here too, although for a brief moment and has now morphed back in to winter.  I've been busy studying, midwifing, parenting, procrastinating and trying to keep all balls in the air.  There was a mid-semester breakdown last week.  I'd had enough of spending the days trying to write essays, construct reports and just generally keep up with the uni work load.  I wanted to be out enjoying the beautiful spring weather with my family, not stuck in the abyss of databases.  My mini breakdown coincided with the "normal" mid semester break on the timetable.  Unfortunately my course doesn't allow for such a frivoulous waste of time, so we just keep ploughing on.  I am taking this week off doing shifts though so I can at least spend some time doing fun stuff with the kids whilst Grace is on holidays.  I still have course work, appointments and a few quick hospital appointments I have to make.  I've also got someone coming up to their birthing day, so that can always change even the best laid plans.  I've completed all my skills and practical exams now, so just needing to finish all my hospital hours, 2 assignments, 1 exam and then I am officially halfway to being a midwife.  Oh, that is a little exciting and very scary.  I've also been fortunate to be invited into the honours program, which apparently is a big deal and something I should be putting some serious thought in to.  Later, when I have time I'll think about it.

Apart from the pulling and tugging in all different directions, I'm loving this semester.  Having so much practical at the hospital is fantastic, and although there are some people to be wary of, most of the midwives are wonderful and so keen to share knowledge with the next wave of midwives.  It's such a hands on course, and I'm still blown away about some of the exeriences that I've already had.

The kids are wonderful.  Grace is enjoying her holidays, spending lots of time with Grandma and Daddy.  Next week though I have some fun adventures planned with her and I.  She had her spring festival on the last day of term and was so excited to be hanging out with the big primary kids. The theme was "Dreamtime" and all the children where asked to wear yellow, red or black.  The older kids danced around the maypole, which was mesmerising and exciting for everyone.   All the classes had been busy coming up with business adventures to develop and sell at the spring markets.  The preppies got off easy and just had to harrass their parents for home made goodies, which were sold at the market for 50 cents per serve.  Some of the wonderful ideas from the older classes were badges, ice blocks, potted vegies and seedlings, second hand clothes, mystery show bags and face painting.  The children were all asked to bring along $5.00 to spend, which managed to go along way as everything was so cheap.  Grandma also came along, but spent most of her money on the children that were busking

She also lost her second tooth.  It had become wobbly on Jaspers birthday and she lost it on Logan's birthday!  It was put out for the tooth fairy, who left another little charm for her bracelet.

Catching Babies

I'm 5 weeks into this semester and I'm still not sure how I'm going to fit everything in!  I thought last semester was busy, but this one is even worse and I'm having a great time but longing for some down time.  I've started shifts at the hospital, which has been amazing, but taking up so much time, that I've haven't even started any study yet.  I was rostered in birth suites for the first 2 weeks and was so lucky to have a beautiful birth on each shift.  On my first shift I cared for a woman from the beginning of her labour until about 4 hours postnatal - it was a wonderful spontaneous birth and I was lucky enough to catch the baby at birth.  I was buddied that time with a midwife that seemed to have a skewed idea of being "with woman" and spent most of the shift downstairs sucking on nicotine.  It was stressful for me at times, being in charge of monitoring (via doppler) interpreting and caring for the woman - mostly by myself, on my very first shift.  I felt like I was constantly looking for the midwife, so that she could teach and support me - but mostly having to just do it all myself. There was a shift change just before the woman birthed, so a new midwife was their for pushing.  I can't begin to describe the feeling of catching my very first baby!  Knowing that I was the first hands on a brand new baby, is such an honour and privilege and a moment that I hope to always respect.  Seeing that brand new family bond and meet their baby for the first time is just so beautiful and it almost feels like an intrusion to be there. 

The next shift I was also lucky enough to support a woman from the beginning of her labour to the end.  This time though, I had a wonderful midwife who was so kind and supportive and gave me lots of confidence.  I once again cared for the woman through the labour, but this time I knew that the midwife was close by and would be there instantly if I needed her.  A funny thing happened this time though.  We'd just examined the woman and she was 4 cm dilated.  About half hour later the midwife went out to the Midwives station to right the results on the board.  It was a quiet night and I was the only person in with a labouring woman, all the other Midwives and Dr's were sitting around talking and drinking coffee trying to stay awake during the night shift.  About half hour after the midwife left (so 1 hour after the examination) I started noticing signs of what I thought could have been second stage, which is time for pushing.  I thought during each contraction I could see parts of the head, but wasn't totally sure  as it was a first time mum and we'd only just assessed her an hour before as 4cm dilated.  A few other things had me questioning if it really was second stage though, so I walked out to the Midwives station (remember, it's my second shift and I've fronting up to all the midwives, Dr's etc here!) and said "I know we only just assessed her and I've probably being very presumptuous and over cautious, BUT I think I can see signs of second stage"  They all kinda looked at the board then looked back at me as if to say "Crazy student has no idea what she is talking about!"  The midwife I was with said, "Ok, I'll come have a look and then go for my break - baby may just be in a posterior position and giving early signs of pushing, but it's most likely not time yet"  She came in, checked her quickly then announced "You were right!  Head is on view"  Half an hour later I caught my second baby!

On another shift, I also made the rookie move of not getting gloves on quick enough.  It is drummed into our brain to "Never trust a Multip", So never trust a woman that has laboured before - I've definitely learnt that now!  I was with a fantastic midwife caring for a woman having her 3rd baby.  She'd just done an examination and she was 7cm.  I turned around to wash my hands and get some new gloves on, turned back and there was a head out laying on the bed - I missed that catch!!  All the midwives had a laugh about that and recalled there own stories of taking their eyes off the woman for a second and turning back to see a baby already there!  I'll hopefully never do that again.  Everything was fine though, and even though baby came out very quickly she had no tears - thank goodness!

I also had one of my follow throughs have a magical birth on Monday.  It was by far my favourite as I'd been able to do all her antenatal care and we had such a great relationship and understanding of each other by the time she was in labour.  I felt so comfortable in her birth, and having that connection antenatally made caring for her in labour so much more intuitive.  I was able to once again do all her care and support in the birth and catch her beautiful little baby.  The high after that birth was amazing and I can't believe that I get to feel so good doing my job.  Seeing her grow through the pregnancy and then watch that transition from woman to mother is such a special relationship to witness.  It is an absolute privilege to be there at that moment and I try very hard to be respectful of the new family whilst still going about doing all the things I need to do. 

I've got a couple of week in the Antenatal clinic now, so lots of talking, blood pressure, palpation's and education - which is certainly different for the highly emotional and sometimes full-on environment of birth suites.  I'm hoping that these few weeks won't be as busy though so I can finally start on my actual course work as I haven't even opened anything yet and I have a research literature review due in a few weeks followed by 2 more essays not long after.  I'm not stressed about the work though, I know I'll get it done.  It may not be at the standard I normally like to submit, but I realise now that my time on the shifts is where most of my learning will be happening and although my marks won't reflect how well I'm going clinically (it's just pass/fail) I will be gaining so much. 

Uni Update

Just wanted to not somewhere that I've got my first semester results back and I was pleasantly surprised!

3 Hd's - Thank-you very much!  I was quietly confidant that I had 2, but the third was not expected.  I thought I'd gone ok in the exam, but as it was a 70% exam and the other 30% was based on group-work, I wasn't expecting to do so well in the exam.  Seems I'm very bad at judging these things and ended up getting the 2nd highest exam mark for all the students.  Not bad for someone who spent the previous night tending to a sick little boy having a horrendous asthma attack!

It means I now have a very healthy GPA of 6.889 (damn that distinction in my very first semester!) and I'm very proud of myself.  I know that marks probably don't mean much in the long run, but right now, they are motivating. 

The next big step is starting 2 x 10-12 hour shifts EVERY week, starting in 2 weeks time.  I'm not even going to begin trying to work out how I'm going to juggle that, study plus I still have 4 women left to birth.  Eeek!

Winter Festival 2011

Grace's school always celebrates the seasons on the last day of the term, it's a nice way to wrap up the term and to break up for the holidays.  They are normally held during the day, but Winter festival is often held in the late afternoon or night, as often lanterns are used to celebrate.  It was our first winter celebration up at the school, so we were not sure what to expect.  The children had made special invitations, asking us to bring along either fresh bread or a pot of vegetable soup and to meet at the prep rooms at 4.30pm.

After getting to the school, the lovely Miss Pam put us into groups of 2-3 families, with instructions to follow the golden path up to the main part of the school.  She also told us to keep our eyes wide open as we may be seeing some magical things on the way.

We were in a group with 2 of Grace's closest friends, Molly and Olivia. Trude and Jasper also came along to celebrate. The children excitedly skipped ahead as the Mum's and Dad's brought up the rear.  As we rounded the corner to head to the Grade 1 class, there was somebody all rugged up in Pj's and dressing gown and resting on a chair.  In front of them was a lantern and a bell, with instructions for the children to ring the bell if they were asleep.  After much encouragement to the girls, who were very unsure of what was happening, the bell was finally rung.  Up jumped the woman in her Pj's and she recited the poem:

"Jack be nimble,

Jack be quick,

Jack jump OVER the candlestick"

The girls, still unsure, soon clicked and after a bit of a nudge, each jumped over the lantern.  They were then each given a candle and told to keep following the path.

Next on the path was a farmer with a tree full of apples beside him.  He also told a little poem and presented each child with their own pre-cored apple, telling them that their candle should fit in it perfectly!

We set off again, and the next stop was to the banker.  She gave each child 3 gold coins and told them at the next stop, they may be able to buy something very special

The next point on the journey was to the woman who was milling the flour and the children were asked if they'd like to buy some using their 3 coins. They were then given a bag of flour and sent on their way.

The baker was the next stop.  The children swapped their bag of flour for a bag of freshly made bread, which upon closer inspection, Grace worked out that it was actually THE bread they'd made in the class today!

Last but certainly not least, was a trip to visit the wizard and her fiery cauldron - a nice warm place for a cold winters night.  The wizard asked the children to make a wish and each wish was thrown into the cauldron and dramatically disappeared in a puff of smoke!  The children loved the whole trip, but mine especially were enchanted with the wizard and her flames.








We all headed back to the prep rooms, and waited for all the other families to finish the tour.  Whilst we waited, the children impressed us all with their sewing abilities, whipping up a little moon headband to celebrate the festival.  Below is also just one of the wonderful things that Grace has been busy making this year - a beautiful cushion that she embroidered her name on all by herself!  The children use them when they are sitting on the mat to kneel on. 

After everyone had ventured back from the exciting walk, we got to have a big, yummy dinner!  There was such a variety of warm, hearty winter soups and crusty bread with butter - Yum!  We all sat around in the prep rooms lapping up soup with chunks of bread, the parents chatting and the children playing.

After everyone was finished and cleaned up, Miss Pam told us that she'd be turning the outside lights off and we were to come out in family groups to say good bye.  The children were to hold their candle, and she would light them as we left.

It was so still and quiet as each child waited patiently for their moment with Miss Pam.  She lit the candles and whispered a wish to each child.  In the dark, just with candlelight, it was a very special and reverent moment.

We then walked out to the carpark, on a path lined with candles and went home.

What a wonderful and special night and just another reason why I love the community and school.

Intermission

I'm obviously a few days late with my photos, but I've given myself permission to have a break.  There are too many other things that I need to focus on, to get through this week, and then I'll be back to all the photo's I've missed (I have got pics most days, it's just the uploading etc that I don't really have time for at the moment.)

I have an exam on Wednesday at 1.30pm, backed up by my huge one the next day at 8.30am.  To say I'm not happy about them being so close together is a given.  I like to do an exam, then "brain dump" to allow a day or so to concentrate on the next one - something I'm not going to be able to do this time.  I've also got the added concern of one of my follow throughs being due, and going into labour at any time.  I'm hoping that if she doesn't go into labour tonight, she gives me a few days and then preferably goes after my exam on the Thursday.  I know that if I'm at the hospital and she is in established labour I can defer the exam, but that sucks too.  The deferred exams are a month away, and I'd prefer to just get it over and done with. 

Also added to my dilemma's is a sick little girl.  After boasting that she hadn't even had a sniffle since December last year (and dammit, I touched wood!)  she has spent the day lethargic and vomiting constantly.  She's sleeping beside me now, so I'm hoping that a good nights sleep will give her the rest she needs to recover.  I don't really want to go down the hospital route as per the last 2 vomiting episodes she has had.  Thank goodness for my lovely Mil who is coming up to watch both kids in the morning so I can go to an  appointment and then do some last minute exam cramming.

I'm so looking forward to Thursday afternoon when exams are over and I can relax.  I'll still be doing appointments and births etc, but it'll be a nice 3 week break from school work.  Before the onslaught of next semester anyway.

# 2 - What you wore today.

Today was a rarity for me.  I had no kids and no appointments to attend, so it was a day to stay home and study.  I only had to go out in the morning for school and pre-school drop off, something I could easily get away with in a t-shirt, jeans and my beloved birks.  These birks are the most comfortable shoes that my feet have had the pleasure of touching - little bits of heaven!  I know some say birks are ugly and old lady shoes - but I say try before you bag!  Isn't that right Miss Beck?  Funny that after the right royal bagging I got at a Mothers group dinner about the "ugly plank" shoes - most of the culprits went and ordered there own!  Ha! 

Anyway, so this was part of what I wore today whilst sitting outside in the winter sun, trying to understand the theory behind Pharmacokinetics  - really, really interesting.

If I was a good blogger......

So many things have happened over the last few months, and I'm completely behind in blogging about them.

I'd come to the page and be so overwhelmed with what I hadn't blogged, I'd just close the page. 


I wanted to blog about Xavier's Autumn festival at pre-school and how excited he was to have Duane and I with him for the afternoon.  He was so proud to have us sit on the little wooden stumps eating the vegie soup and bread the class had spent the day preparing.  He had our undivided attention, as Grace was being picked up by a friend so we could spend some time with Xav. It's so lovely to see him become more confidant at pre-school, and not just be in Grace's shadow.

I also wanted to write about Grace's Autumn festival and how fantastic and wonderful that was.  Watching her with all her friends do a performance for the parents; the kids showing off their new Italian skills and singing some songs in the language.  Then spending the morning doing different Autumn themed activities with Grace who was so proud to have not only Xav and I, but Grandma, Trudy and Jasper joining for the celebration. Everyone bought a Autumn inspired dish to share for lunch, and we sat out in the playground in the sun eating all the beautiful, home-cooked food!  Grace and Grandma had made apple crumble together, which is the kids favourite and judging by the clean plate, everyone else enjoyed it too!  We ate warm curries, rice, apple pie, pumpkin scones, pumpkin soup and freshly baked bread.  It was delicious and a wonderful way to celebrate the last day of term for the Preppies.

I would have then blogged about the holidays, and how much fun it was to have Grace home again.  She did ask on the first day if she could go back to school, but that was the only glimmer of boredom!  The 3 weeks were packed with so mach fun and adventure, and I loved having my beautiful girl here every day!  We went to parks, visited friends, spent days at Dreamworld, shopped, ate out, hung around the house, did craft, had some play dates and spent some wonderful time together.  We did a big trip up to Brisbane with a group of Grace's school friends, going up on the train and visiting the Museum, GOMA and Southbank parklands.  It was a crazy busy day, with 12 children all up and 6 adults - alcohol was definitely talked about for next time we plan such a huge event!  The kids were wonderfully behaved and spent the train ride sitting in their sits talking and finger knitting - which caused a few glances and comments from fellow travellers!

I would also liked to have blogged about our 5 night camping trip to beautiful Yamba.  The caravan park we stayed in was a kids paradise with a plethora of activities, even for when the weather was a little crappy.  There were 2 pools (1 with awesome kids slides), jumping pillow, 3 outdoor playgrounds and 1 inside playground.  Plus all the natural attractions surrounding like the sandy river, which was great for crab hunting and shallow water splashing.  We did have a bit of rain, especially heavy on one night that was a little annoying, but all in all it was great!  It certainly was too cold for me to brave bathers and swim, but lucky the dad's were all keen to take the kids swimming every day.  The kids certainly didn't care about the temperature, and were nagging at every opportunity to go swimming.  There were a few unfortunate events though, mainly Trudy getting a diarrhoea bug and Murray spending a night in hospital with hives.  Lets just say Trude was very thankful that she had her own private ensuite to contaminate use.  There was plenty of glen 20 sprayed around and diligence with all hand washing, which seemed to save it being passed on.

It was a great trip though, made even better by having a good group to go with.  The kids all played wonderfully, with barely any disagreements with each other.  They made friends with a little girl next door to us, and spent so much time playing with her. Her parents had a great tent set up and would invite all our kids over for movies after lunch, which gave us all a break and some quiet time!

There are so many beautiful parts around Yamba that we didn't get to explore, so a trip will definitely be planned for there again!  It would be a fantastic spot to visit in summer as there are so many wonderful water activities to do, so we might head there instead of Lennox next year.

I'd liked to have also blogged about Mothers Day - a very special day for me!  Firstly, a few days before, Xav's preschool had a Mothers day morning tea.  Xav loves the time I get to spend with him at his school, and was very proud to serve me a variety of cakes, scones and slices alongside a beautiful heart mobile that he'd made for me.  It was also so lovely to catch up with all the other Mums, and start to get to know them better, just as I did for Grace when she was the same age.  I bet Xav's 'best friend' Deklan's Mum, who told me her son is always talking about Xav, as is Xav about her son!  Xav got a new pair of runners, and he was going to be wearing them to school for the first time today.  He was so excited and told me "Deklan is going to love my shoes"  I'm just so happy that he has adjusted so well to not having Grace there, it was hard for him for a few weeks, but he loves going to school now and always just sends me off with a kiss and a wave!  He even tells me now that he doesn't want me to stay for morning circle!

~~Hand made and hand sewn byGrace for me xx~~

I would have also blogged about the beautiful present Grace so proudly presented me on Mothers Day.  She's been working very hard for weeks on making me my very own, completely Grace-made bookmark.  She'd made the felt from fleece, which is a long process.  She's then blanket stitched all around the outside herself.  I love the obvious stop and start marks on the sewing, it shows how every day she did a little bit.  It's beautiful and such a keepsake, and doing a wonderful job of being used as it was designed.  She's also made me a card which had one side written in English and then the other in Italian

"Augurissimi a le mamma bella con amore da Grace"

"Best wisshes to you beautiful Mum with love from Grace"

The other lovely present I received was a cornflower blue pair of ugg-boots, as requested!  Although they are beautiful and warm, nothing beats the handmade presents on Mothers day.  I'll certainly treasure the ones I got this year.

If I was being diligent, I would have also blogged about my first follow through birth as a student midwife.  It was amazing, beautiful, daunting and nerve-racking - all rolled into one!  It certainly was a miracle though and reinforced my commitment to being a midwife.  I've got another lady due in the middle of June, so back to sleeping with my phone close by in case the call comes in the middle of the night.  It's exciting and exhausting being so connected to the phone, being nervous that you'll miss the call and miss the birth. 

Uni is going well and I'm on the down hill ride to exams.  I've submitted all assignments for this semester and am just waiting anxiously for grades to come back.  I've got an exam worth 70% of the course in a little over 3 weeks, so I'm going to be head down trying to fill my brain with information about pharmacology and pathophysiology.  All exciting, but brain-draining.  I've also got another exam worth 50%, but I'm not as stressed about that one.  I had my clinical practical exam yesterday and passed easily, no actual mark though as it's just a pass/fail.  I'm still hoping to pull at least distinctions for all 3 subjects, but I've definitely not had the time to dedicate to study.  I only really have Thursday and Fridays for school work (as I have Xav the other days), but I encourage my women to roster their antenatal appointments on those days.  The appointments can take FOREVER, so sometimes the whole day is written off with waiting around and I've got no school work done!  I'm trying to lower my mark expectations though, as I don't think I can keep up the good marks with such a full on course.  Although the coursework is challenging, juggling the rest of the clinical requirement is what is hard.  I can't even imagine how next semester is going to go as I'll be adding into the mix 2 permanent shifts at the hospital EVERY week!  I'm looking forward to it though, and am confidant that it will be fine.

There so much else that has happened over the last few months, but that's the main stuff.  I miss blogging and writing about the small moments, not just the big things - so I'm going to try to get back into it.

Bedtime stories

I had such a full on week last week, I felt I was barely at home.  I was out 5 nights in a row, all uni related.  Plus having to attend meetings and appointments during the day.  Toss in actual study time and it was HECTIC!

I'm trying to get as much as possible done now, so I have plenty of time for my caseload women, assignments and exam preparation.  I knew this year would be busy, but really didn't think about how 1 antenatal appointment has the potential to wipe out 4 hours on average - factoring in driving time, parking time, waiting time, appointment time etc.  Considering I have 30 antenatal appointments, 6 births and 18 postnatal visits to attend this year - that's a lot of time!  Not even taking into account I will be adding on top of that load with 2 hospital shifts per week in a few months time.

Thanks goodness I love it though, and have absolutely no reservations that this is the career I want.  It's everything plus more than I could imagine and it feels fabulous (and exhausting!) to be on my dream path!  I'm also re-motivated after getting my last essay results back - 94% HD!  Hopefully I can use the inspiration to start the next few I have due soon!

I'd had a draining day today, so spending some wind-down time putting the kids to bed was welcomed.  It's at bed-time that I get to hear all about Grace's magical days at school.  She bubbles over with excitement as she tells me all the fun and wonderful things she gets up to, and how much she absolutely loves going.  Actually, on Saturday she was a little sad and when I asked what was wrong she said she was missing school.  I'm still amazed that she has adapted and fitted in so well, she's only of the only kids to not have a day off from sickness or being too tired!  I think she'd be devastated not being able to go!!

So tonight, after stories, she told me about her favourite part of the day.  She said at rest time, all the children layed down with their pillows (they've actually all hand sewn and embroidered their own, something Grace is extremely proud of!), and Miss Pam gave each of them a "journey" crystal to hold.  They then quietly layed down and took a journey into their minds, then each child had a turn telling the class about what they'd seen.  Grace so intricately told me all about the purple bird she'd seen in "her imagination" and she was so excited that even tonight she could close her eyes and the bird was "right there!"  She's always been able to remember dreams, or describe different things she's seen - but she was so amazed that she could imagine something so clearly and be able to recall it whenever she wanted!  What a wonderful skill to enhance and develop - imagination! 

I have a little going to bed story from Xav too.  I was laying with him, answering his many questions (we are going through another one of Xav's "Why?" periods!) about "Why do we have a heart? How come it always goes and never stops? Do dogs have hearts? etc etc.  After I answered them all, he said the sweetest thing.  "Mummy, I have little boxes in my heart and the biggest one is mostly for you"  I'm not sure where he got that from, maybe he's paraphrasing me as I always tell him there is a little piece of him inside my heart always.  Xav is one of the cheekiest, wittiest and funniest kids, but it's times like this I remember how adorable and sweet he is too. 

Mixed up colours

Grace's school has a different colour and theme for every day of the school week.  They aren't restricted to just wearing that days particular coloured school top, but mostly the preppies want to be like everyone else in their class, so they are very diligent on wearing the "right" colour on the right day.  Some of the more outgoing kids wear their orange top on green day, or purple top on yellow day - just to test the waters of going against the grain.

Having a different top each day is working wonderfully with my style conscious daughter, it appeals to her sense of  fashion whilst also embracing her love of predictability and knowing what comes next.  She knows that on purple day she has seaweed, rice and seeds for morning tea, they do Italian lessons and music lessons.  She also loves green day (Friday) as they all go on a bush walk, get to cook and eat something made from rolled oats and make a booklet with their group on what they did that day.

So, a few weeks ago I made a big mistake.  I was at a Midwifery seminar until late (my excuse!) and didn't get home until around midnight.  Combined with an early morning wake up (thanks Xav for the 5am alarm!) and it's quiet understandable that I stuffed up the order.  I did actually think it was Thursday, so sent Grace to school believing it was Thursday and orange top day.  I saw the twins in Grace's class on the walk up, both wearing orange so it never occurred to me that I'd made the mistake.  It wasn't until Grace walked in the front gate and one of her friends pointed out that she was wearing the wrong colour.  I glanced around and sure enough, all the other kids (except 4 - phew!) were wearing yellow, Wednesdays colour.  Grace immediately went to tears, it's the first time she's cried since starting school (except for a few on her first day) and she clung to me, not wanting to go in.  Miss Pam offered for her to wear one of the yellow spares, but Grace was adamant she wouldn't wear anyone elses clothes.  I offered to race home and get hers, but the impact had already been, she just wanted me to stay.

I ended up sitting in on the class for half hour, she was ok, but still looked very sad.  I know she was just upset because she felt she was doing something wrong, even when we all tried to tell her it was fine.  I waited until she was settled, then said goodbye and headed out.  Later on I got an email from Miss Pam (how cool is the instant technology, but I'd love it even more if they had school-cam!!)

Hi Kirsten

Grace was a little upset when you left, however, we talked about the wonderful things about making mistakes – how the greatest inventions may never have been thought of if we hadn’t made mistakes.  In the Moonlight room mistakes are a way of learning.  I told Grace about the mistakes I’ve made and the great things I’ve learnt from them.  Her friends all told their stories as well and were so supportive.  It really was wonderful.  She was very happy after this and settled down to create some stories with her friends.

Hope you haven’t been too worried.

Warm wishes

Pam

What a wonderful take on it!  Just another reason I'm so happy with the school, with obviously so much care and respect for the children!  Grace was happy when I picked her up and ended up having a great day.  Apparently all the "orange" topped children played together!


The weirdest part was the night before I'd actually had a dream that something similar had happened, except it involved a hat.  I'd dreamt that I'd popped in on the way back from craft to see how she was and she was crying.  One of her friends (coincidentally the same one that pointed out the wrong colour top!!) came running up to me and said Grace was sad because he hat was too small.  Strange hey!

Hectic

Today was always going to be a busy day, with no wriggle room for things not going to plan.  Stupid me should have realised that by actually making a plan, I was setting myself up for problems.

The morning started fine, although Duane and I were both a little tired from the previous nights antics.  It was a ridiculously hot night and I even resorted to using the air-con (something I'd been avoiding since the whooping $500 power bill I got last week).  I managed a nice sleep for the first half of the night, with 2 little squirts joining us in the cool comfort around 11.30pm.  What I didn't enjoy though was the crazy thunderstorm that started about midnight and sent the dogs into a barking frenzy.  They wouldn't calm down, and after getting up to them a few times I was wide awake, so headed to Grace's room and read for a few hours.  Not the best choice when I have a son who's decided 5.30am is a wonderful time to be up and insists I get out of bed the same time he does. 

The morning started off fine - all to plan!  I knew that I'd be going to a home birth meeting today, so whipped up a batch of banana, carrot and honey muffins before 6am.  Grace, as usual, got herself dressed and ready for school without me even reminding or nagging her - she is always so eager to go! Xav was his usual reluctant self, that boy would stay in his Pj's all day if I'd let him!

After dropping Grace at school, Xav and I headed to the local community hall for our double vaccination shots.  I was getting my last hep b for uni requirements and Xav was getting the one that was stuffed up last year.  I had mentioned to him last week we were getting it done, and based on his reaction I knew he wasn't impressed.  So, I did "forget" to remind him until we were safe within the walls of the hall and there was no chance of an escape.  After explaining the previous stuff up again, and once again being told how terrible it was that that happened, it was our turn.  I figured Xav would be best going first, as he knew what was going on and wasn't going to be calmed down by watching me getting stabbed before him.  I ended up having to bear hug him whilst the nurse jabbed him in the arm, and him screaming all the time.  Lucky the line up was full of tiny babies who had no idea what the older boy was screaming about!  I had a freddo frog ready for when he finished, so he sucked on that in between sobs.  Mine was next, but by the look of all the fluid running down my arm and squirting on the desk, I have my suspicions that all the vaccine went in.  The nurse did also comment that she had leaked a little, but Xav's sobbing kept us distracted.  I'm just hoping that when I have serology done next month, I've got enough antibodies and don't have to go back for more.

It's policy to sit and wait 15 mins before leaving.  I'd timed it perfectly; 9am needles, leave by 9.15 and at the home birth meeting by 9.30am as it was just around the corner.  Xav and I were sitting on our uncomfortable plastic chairs waiting for the obligatory 15 mins to be over, going through the photos and videos on my Iphone (love that phone!) when Xav told me that he wanted something to eat.  I said that we had some food in the car, and I'd get it for him soon.  He said again he was hungry and came over white and clammy.  I knew instantly he was about to vomit, so immediately cupped my hands and caught the flow.  Now, considering he'd had porridge for breakfast plus the freddo as a bribe, it was a very gross mixture.  A few more heaves and I was covered up to my elbows, all over my clothes, pooling on the floor and Xav had bits all over him.  I called the RN and she came over with a bowl and some wipes.  Xav was still not looking well, so they tried to lay him down with an ice pack - which was not the easiest thing to do on such uncomfortable chairs.  He was a bit distressed from the vomiting, so didn't want anyone but me touching him.  She wanted to take his pulse, but he wasn't cooperating, so I did it and it was fine.  It took a while for him to get colour back, so we spent the next hour waiting and watching.  Finally he seemed better so we could head out, after a quick clean up in the bathroom as I tried desperately to remove the "vomit eu toilette" aroma wafting from us both.

By this time I'd well and truly missed my 9.30am meeting, but there was a similar one on at 1pm, so I planned to make that one.  Next on the agenda was a trip up to Logan uni to put in all my clinical documents.  I really couldn't be bothered taking everything up there, but the alternative was getting everything witnessed and signed by a JP, so I figured a 2 hour car trip might have been the better option.  Xav was not up to doing much after his little ordeal, so he curled up in his seat with blankie and had a sleep in the air-conditioned comfort of the car.  Once up at uni, I had to get everything photocopied so trudged up to the library.  It tuned out to be a great day to visit, as the normally sleepy campus was alive with stalls giving out lots of free things.  I scored a bunch of pens and highlighters and Xav was given some coconut juice drinks and some small packets of chips.  He loved the coconut drinks, but complained that the samboy plain chips were "too spicy", which just meant I got them all!

We got back to our house by 12.45pm, just enough time for a toilet stop and a quick drink.  Then it was straight back in the car so we could make our 1pm appointment.  I wasn't really sure what to expect for this meeting with the Homebirthers.  Part of our assessment is attending 10 hours of community experiences that pregnant or new parents would go to.  I'm extremely interested in home birth, so figured I'd include that as most of my hours.  I had nothing to be worried about, it was awesome.  I'd missed the early session that's more a support group, with lots of advice and everyone sharing their pregnancy/birth experiences.  The afternoon session was more on parenting, with one of the older Mums giving a little talk on her parenting journey and what worked or didn't work for her family.  It was lovely and casual, with the kids all paddling in the water close by or playing together with the toys.  Xav found a huge tractor to play with, so spent all his time with that.  My idol Midwife was there too, so it was lovely to get to know her better as we talked about parenting and different ways to discipline.  So many of the Mum's there were connected to Silkwood too, which just makes me feel even more content with our decision to send our kids there as it's such a community of like-minded people. 

We left there just in time to pick Grace up from school at 2.50pm.  I was excited to see her, but apparently the feeling wasn't mutual as she burst into tears as soon as she saw me.  I ran over to her, thinking something bad had happened.  Seems all is fine, she was just expecting us to do the drive by and pick up today.  We've never done that before, but I did remember she had asked if she could do it but I'd forgotten.  Seems she's too cool to have her parents pick her up already!!  There is a group of her friends that are doing it, so I've promised her tomorrow I will not get out of the car, but swing by the pick-up zone so Miss Pam can put her in!

In the madness of getting our injections, I'd hastily said to Xav that I'd take him on a train ride if he let the lovely lady shove the needle in his arm.  I thought he'd forgotten, but seeing the train line on the way up was enough to jog the little elephants memory.  I managed to wrangle out of it then and there, but suggested we go once we'd picked Grace up from school.  He was fine with that arrangement.  After picking Grace up, we got Duane and then headed to the train station.  I took the kids, and Duane drove to the next stop to wait for us.  The lovely ticket man put the kids on my free, seen as how we were only going to the next stop.  Xav was beside himself with excitement and was chattering all the way. "Do you like trains Grace?  I like trains.  This is a big, long train isn't it?  It's going very fast too.  I love trains!"  t was a quick 6 minute trip, but enough to appease the children.  Duane picked us up the other end, then we did a quick trip to the mall for Nicole's birthday present for tomorrow.  Then it was home for a quick dinner, bath and the kids in bed asleep by 7pm.  I'm not going to be far away either.  My days are so busy at the moment, trying to combine everything is doable but very tough and draining.  The heat is not helping either, so I'm looking forward to it cooling down and hopefully me getting myself into a better routine with study.

Adjusting

The last few weeks have been big in the Penney Household.  The biggest change has been Grace starting Prep and me starting back at Uni, in a much more intense and time consuming course than last year.  We've also had Mum staying with us, which has been great, but she's gone back to Tas now - and everything changes again.

Grace has handled everything brilliantly, settling into Prep with way more enthusiasm and contentment than I could imagine or hope.  She's had 2 full-time weeks so far, and not once complained or even jokingly said she doesn't want to go.  I'm so relieved and amazed that she has done so well, it sure makes the transition 100 times easier.

~~Morning circle time at Prep~~

I've settled back into Uni ok.  I've been up at Logan Uni for the last 2 weeks, with only 1 more week of intensive lectures to go.  Then it's all online from home and also attending 6 women through their pregnancy, birth and postnatal period over the next 6 months.  I've already got 1 confirmed follow through, who is due in 3 weeks - meaning I've already attended an antenatal appointment and have to make sure I can get another 2 in before the birth!  It's very exciting though, knowing that in roughly 3 weeks I'll hopefully be getting a late night call to head into hospital and might even have the privilege of catching my very first baby!  They apparently like to throw us in the deep end - sorts out the dedicated ones from those just doing it cause they "love babies"  Attending appointments also means I have the pleasure of experiencing the wonderful wait times of the hospital, nothing like running consistently 2 hours late for a 10 minute appointment to get you frustrated! 

It did work quite well this week though, as Mum dropped me off and then headed to the Rockpools with Xav.  It was so quiet down there, so Xav got most of the place to himself.  Apparently he wasn't interested in playing with anyone else though, too enthralled in floating leaves and flowers down the sloping side.  Mum did have a little embarrassing moment with him though,  He got a splinter in his finger, but wouldn't let her near it to get it out.  He was getting tired and asking for light touches (lucky she was pre-warned about his fetish!), so she cradled him in her arms as he started to fall asleep.  A few moments passed, then he sat bolt upright and yelled "I don't want to drink milk from your booby"  Mum was mortified, as there were people around and probably wondering who the freaky Grandmother was trying to breastfeed her 3 y/o grandson - I'm fine with wet nursing, but that might be taking it all a little too far!  Hence the reason why in this photo, he was sleeping a little lower than breast height!

~~Xav having a snooze at the Rockpools with Nan~~

But, the person having the hardest time adjusting to our new routines is Xavier.  He is really missing Grace and is craving time with her.  Of a morning he's glued to her side wanting to play, and the same again come pick-up time.  They've slept together for the last 3 weeks whilst Mum was here, and supposed to have gone back into their own beds yesterday.  However, tonight I over heard Xav creep into Grace and ask if he could sleep with her, as "Mummy has Daddy to cuddle of a night, and I really like cuddling you Grace"  Being the wonderful and kind big sister that she is, she made room and welcomed him in. 

I'm really feeling sorry for Xav though, even though I know he'll adjust and be fine.  After last year being so excited about going to pre-school and barely acknowledging me as I left, to now feeling like the new kid and reluctantly letting me leave.  He has a few kids he knows, but most of his friends have started Prep this year.  He gets on so well with the older kids, and although being only 3, has always been so accepted by Grace's friends.  He keeps complaining that the 3 y/os at Pre-school are "babies" and even now spends his time trying to mix with the older kids.  I'm always told by his teachers that he is so easy to have around and always has a fun day, but he just doesn't seem to be his confidant self.  He's not unhappy, probably just re-working his place in the pack.  I think Grace & all the girls where his security blankets and now he's learning to cope without that.

Dancing is something else that's making me sad for my little boy.  All the girls (Grace, Leah and Cass) have been moved up to the next room - leaving Xav behind once again.  Last week was their first time back, and he was adamant that he's not going dancing by himself.  He really wants to participate though, and said he would if Malia or Logan came too - so now just to convince them!  He loved dancing last year and is desperate to do another concert, so I'm hoping that even if they don't come, he'll get the courage to go on his own.

I'm banking on not next week but the week after, things will start to work themselves out.  I've got uni all next week in Logan, meaning I'm away from 7.30am - 6pm every day except Wednesday.  The week after I'm home though, so Xav and I'll have lots of time together, working out a routine for us.  Last week, I was mourning Grace not being here and reluctant to plan anything as I didn't want her to miss out.  But, I've come to the realisation that this is just how life is right now, and Xav and I can have a different kind of fun together without Grace.  It's not that I don't want to do all the fun things with Xav, It's just been so long that I've had a twosome to take everywhere and it feels kinda weird and wrong with 1 missing.