The big clash

Wowsers, today has been an interesting day.

It all started beautifully and I was lulled into thinking that it was going to be a great day, but by about 9am I was ready to drown my sorrows alone at the pub. Big thing for me considering I don't really drink anymore, but to be honest anything apart from dealing with a challenging 3 year old was appealing.

We all woke around 7.30am, then headed out to the play room for our daily restaurant breakfast. It's quite cute actually and something that the kids and I have been doing for the last few weeks. They go out the front door, knock and wait for me to answer. I open the door, they say "hello". I always say, "Oh, you must have enjoyed yesterdays breakfast if you are back again today" and then I ask their names again and shake hands. I then lead them to their seats at the the little wooden table set up in the playroom that has been prepared with a lace tablecloth, decorations and cutlery. I take their drink order (warm milk or sometimes as a special treat - watered down apple juice), then pop into the kitchen to prepare it. Grace always says in a surprised voice, "Oh, you have dogs, what are their names?" "Oh, chooks & a vegie garden out the window - that's funny!"

They both sit straightly at the table, waiting for their drink order to come. I bring their drink either in a glass or tiny coffee cup & saucer, then take their breakfast order. My restaurant is never stocked very well, so it is always only a choice between weetbix & porridge. I hurry on back to the kitchen to get their order then return with 2 bowls, each with 2 weetbix and milk. They both then ask for honey, so I twirl some honey onto their spoon and they each drizzle it onto their breakfast. Xav waits for a while, then asks "honey, yum"? Which I know means that he wants to lick the honey coated spoon. I give the nod and they both gobble it up.

I proceed to the kitchen to "do" restaurant work (read: guzzle a cup of tea and check out facebook!) whilst they make idle chit chat with each other over the table.

The highlight of the event is of course the settling of the bill at the end. Both kids have their own pretend credit cards that they keep in the top pocket of their Flannalette Pj's, ready for payment. I have an old calculator, which when the cover is turned around and put on the back makes a perfect swipe machine. I tally up the bill, they swipe and enter their pins - Breakfast is over and done with smoothly.

Until today.

Well I guess the breakfast part still went well, it was just what happened afterwards. Grace was constantly climbing onto the dining room table, giggling and doing her best tabletop dancing impersonation. I told her a few times to get down, and she did. But then the little terror would just get back up there whenever I turned my back or left the room. I probably should just ignore her, but little Mr copycat was right behind her and the 2 of them flinging themselves all over the table was just an accident waiting to happen.

I used my usually successful 1,2,3 technique, but she wasn't responding at all. I used a firm voice and told her that if she didn't get down I would take all her jeans for the day so she couldn't wear them. I gave her 2 chances, she still kept going up there so I rummaged through her drawers and found her beloved jeans and promptly put them up in the top kitchen cupboard. She kept taunting me and saying she didn't care and went straight back to the table. It was right about now I lost it and yelled at her, grabbed her from the table and marched (me still yelling BTW) her up to her bedroom. She was screaming as she threw herself on the bed. I yelled some more (cause I hadn't done that enough already) then stormed out. Xav was crying by this stage, but because he had also been getting on the table he was put in his room too.

I was shaking by this stage, my heart was pounding and I just needed them both away from me. I understand now that it wasn't that big a deal and I really should haven handled it a bit better, but god damn it felt good at the time to just YELL. Well, until Mummy guilt crept in.

I called Duane to tell him what happened, and to just talk to an adult. He calmed me down and I was starting to fell better until he said, "Maybe you just need to give her a light tap on the bum?" Then I lost it at him. We have discussed discipline before and we both agreed that we did not want to smack out kids - for any reason. I know that he was just trying to help, but in my frenzied state I did not need to be told that. I hung up on him.

I took a few deep calming breaths, then headed up to Grace's room. I sat on the bed with her and talked about why I was upset and angry. I told her I didn't want her on the table because apart from the fact that it is dangerous, the table is not for standing on. I asked her to explain back to me what she did wrong, which she did between sobs.

We cuddled and I apologised for getting so upset, then I asked her why she needs to get up on the table? You know what the dear little thing said? "I *sob* don't *sob* have a stage to dance on, it's my stage Mummy" All said between gasping sobs and big fat tears streaming down her red blotchy face. So it seems I am stifling my kids creative outlets.

We headed into Xav's room, where he had forgotten about it all and was sitting on the floor flipping through a book. We then all headed out to the lounge where I set up a little stage for them to play on and spent the next hour watching Grace perform for me.

After that we headed out to do the groceries. After about an hour of shopping, with the kids walking beside the trolley perfectly, I had a little old lady sidle up beside me. "I've been following you and your kids around the grocery store and I just wanted to let you know how lovely and well behaved they are, it really is so nice to see" I thanked her, it meant so much to hear that after this mornings episode.

I was needing a little Grace free time this afternoon, so Duane took her along to playgroup. Apparently they had a blast making bread and Duane got to sew the flower that is going on Grace's flower head garland that we are making. He even enjoyed doing it - Hippy Freak.

Xav and I headed over to Trudes house to still all her freshly baked anzacs and chocolate slice. Xav went straight to sleep on her bed, so I got some child free time to chat to some adults & Murray.

On other news, I had my weigh in at Weight Watchers tonight. 1.9kgs lost!!! I know that the first week you usually loose a lot, but I'll take it and hopefully that lose will keep me motivated for next week! I'm finding it very easy though, sometimes hard to even finish my days points. I'm even eating all my treats, which this week has included yummy chocolate slice made by the very pregnant Trudy - Yummo!

Trude is 10 days over today and is now on operation get the baby out. They are trying all the tricks tonight in the hope that bubba Dew chooses tomorrow as his b'day - 07/08/09. It's a full moon today, so anything is possible. Well, it's nearly 11pm and I really should be getting some sleep before the big event.

C'mon little baby - it's fun out here, and there are lots of people waiting to meet you.