I think he has weaned

I think my sweet little boy has weaned.

He hasn't fed for 54 hours, not through lack of me trying though. His last feed was at 3am on the 30th November. He has slept right through from 7pm - 6am last night and the night before. The first morning I took him into Grace's bed (she was asleep in mine) and tried to get him to feed. He just pushed me away and laughed. It was a little like deja vu, Grace did exactly the same thing when she weaned. I tried a few different ways but each time he just shook his head, totally not interested. He did however show displeasure at me putting the boobies away, seems that even though they are no good for milk now, it's still fun to poke, squeeze and laugh at them.

Once again last night he slept all the way through. I woke at 5.30am, my stomach dropped again realising that my little boy was not curled up beside me. He woke at 6.15, then I bought him into the lounge and tried to get him to feed. Nope, same reaction - laugh, poke and then he climbed down. I had my camera ready, hoping that he would have one last feed for good luck and I would be able to capture it on film, but he had made up his mind.

So it seems my milk making career has come to a grinding halt. I've had 3 years of the beautiful breastfeeding hormones, getting my daily fix of the feeding drug. I'm feeling not too bad at the moment, but no doubt my hormones will be sending me into a crying, weeping mess as they come crashing down.

~~Our very first feed~~

I'm just not ready yet. The end of breastfeeding to me is the end of the the pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding journey. It's like I now have to face that my baby is no longer a baby. He is now a toddler that can make big decisions, like how he wants to gain his nutrition.

~~Our last before bed feed 21-11-08~~

I knew that the time was coming and I had been mentally preparing myself for it, the reality of it actually happening is much, much harder though. I also know that I should be happy that he is sleeping all night, but I'm not. I loved having a little early morning bed buddy - nothing better than warm, delicious baby cuddles. I know that I have wished for a long time that I got to wake of a morning on my terms. I dreamt about waking before the kids and coming out and enjoying a nice cup of tea all alone. I guess you should really be careful for what you wish for, cause I have that now and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I treasure the memories now of waking beside a sleepy baby, a dribble milk escaping from his lips.

I just hope that every now and then he still to come in early for a snuggle.