Who compromises the most?

What happens if 1 partner is happy and content with 2 children, has absolutely no desire to have a 3rd, is ready to move on from nappies and nights of lost sleep BUT the other partner looks around and knows that there is a baby missing from the family pictures?

Who 'wins' this showdown?

Yep, we had the chat. No, it didn't go well. Yep, he is happy to not have anymore children. No, I am not happy to end my baby making days.

I see his point, I really do. I know that we are better of financially with only 2 children, but money is never going to fill that tiny place in my heart that I have reserved for my 3rd baby. I know that our house is small, it's an averaged sized 3 bedroom house with only the one bathroom. It's fine now, but as the kids get older I'm sure it'll get a little cramped - especially lining up for the toilet or waiting for Grace (or Xav!) to finish blow drying their hair. That also doesn't stop that lump at the back of my throat when I dare to think of never having another baby.

My heart rules my head on this one. No amount of practical thinking is going to override my overwhelming desire for a 3rd baby. But what do we do if Duane is so adamant that the baby making days are behind us? He's excited to move onto the next stages with the kids, they are both at great ages now and life is really easy.

I know that sooner or later all these things are going to have to be the very last, I can't keep having babies. Well, the Duggars did - but I highly doubt that if I can't convince Duane for 1 more, I'll never get another 16!

But right now, I can't imagine never feeling those first flutters, never tickling a little foot wedged under my ribs, never again waiting anxiously for the first signs of labour, never having my slippery and slick newborn put on my chest, never having milky night cuddles together, never watching my baby learn to toddle and never again celebrating a 1st b'day for one of my babies.

Of course, it's not just the lose of baby things that upsets me, It's just that these are bits that I would haven't have again from now. If I'm still aching for another child in 10 years time, I would be missing all the previous stages too. It's just right now, I know what it is like to have a newborn or toddler or preschooler so I'll miss that.

Maybe I just got him at a bad time? Maybe him actually saying Nope, all done no more was actually just a side effect from the lack of sleep?

My timing was all off, that's the problem! I shouldn't have approached the conversation as he tried to rest in the afternoon after a restless week of night wakings, what with Grace vomiting in the first half of the week and Xav coughing and wheezing the other - the poor guy is barely lucid! Oh, and next time I start nagging bring up the subject, I'll be sure that there aren't any kids around AT all - especially not a 2.5 y/o in the corner that has perfected the art of the most annoying tantrum.

It's not like I want the baby right now. I just need to know that within the next few years, there is a chance that another baby is coming our way.

Normally with Duane, I get my way most of the time. However, this is one thing I don't want to force. If he remains 100% comfortable with never having more kids, I think I'll have to give up my dream. Will that create resentment? I'm not sure. Will he resent me if he we do go ahead and have a 3rd, when he's already said he wants no more? I'm not sure.

Foster care is something else that I am considering. There is a serious lack of foster carer's and unfortunately way to many children need the services. I would love to be able to help in that way, even if it meant heartbreak in handing children back. The help we as a famiy could give to a child, would over ride any sadness we could ever feel. Anyway, something that I'll look into after I've settled into uni.

"You'll never regret the child you have" How much faith do we put in that reasoning?

If all else fails, I'll just have to resort to withdrawing all marital relations as ransom. Fair deal?