Snotty nose children

Before children:

I was never going to have snotty nose children. No Way.

My kids noses were going to always be pristine, not a booger in sight. They were never going to get colds either, because I would be loading them up with healthy, fresh food as well as breastfeeding them until they self weaned. This was going to guarantee that they didn't succomb to a cold as their immunity was going to be top notch. They were going to dutifully wipe their noses, and even ask to have them cleaned if there was so much as a skerrick of snot. Yes, my kids were going to take pride in their facial juices, no snail trail's for them. They certainly weren't going to be so disgusting that they wiped their faces on the couch as they were pulling themselves up on it. I was going to be a good parent and teach them that this is not "acceptable behaviour"

Fast forward:

Yeah well how's that going for you? Xavier has had a gazillion colds & our house is just one huge snot fest. Grace is great and now blows her nose, which makes life so much easier. Xavier on the other hand has spent the whole day with slimey snot all over his face. He will not let me wipe it. I have tried all day, but as soon as he knows thats what I want, his hands start flapping around and he somehow manages to transfer the snot from his nose to all over his head and face. Really nice. Yesterday was a good one, I even managed to have snot trails on both of my shoulders, from when I was carrying the delightfuls.