Cluck, Cluck, Cluck

Ohhh I saw a teeny tiny little baby today!

My friend Renee had a beautiful little princess on the 16th Feb and she is just adorable. She has a full head of "crazy & unruly" hair and has the most adorable little frown.

Everytime I see a newborn, I can't fathom that my own kids were ever that little. Grace was tiny, she got down to about 2.5kgs, but I still can't picture it. I sit and try to remember them as newborns and I can only get glimpses. Is it because those first few weeks are just a blur of feeding and settling? Or is it that their personalities are now so prominent that is all that my mind has the room for?

Anyway being around a newborn certainly "rattled my ovaries" again. I wonder if you ever really know if your family is complete? When do you start selling the newborn stuff and moving onto the next stage? I can't bear to do it so maybe there is more babies coming to me? I am so grateful for my 2 beautiful kids, if they are the only 2 children I am meant to have, I am happy.

It's just that I love being pregnant, giving birth and breastfeeding. I know that some people think that I am nuts, but it's my "thing" I feel a deep drop in my stomach if I dare think that I won't experience that again. Even if it is just a passing thought or comment about never having anymore kids, my eyes well up. But then does that feeling ever stop or will I want to keep having babies? "Maybe just one more", says the Addict!!

I also know that if I am blessed with another baby they will be born at home. I want to experience birth from start to finish in the comfort of my own home, surrounded by my husband & children.

Ok I have to stop thinking. To keep myself sane I keep telling myself that we will have another. I know that Duane is happy to stop at 2, but I also know that he would be happy to have another too. He did also give me a glimmer of hope the other day. I was sorting out some of the baby toys and told him that I was going to get rid of some. He said "but we are going to have another aren't we?" So I might be holding him to his word in about umm 2 years!!

I did see a psychic the day before my 20week scan with Xavier. She predicted that I would have 3 children. Girl, boy then another girl. She has been right with the first too, so surely she can get 3 out of 3?? She also said that I was coming into some money. Maybe I just need to fulfill the 3rd baby part to get the money! haha