Happy 4th Birthday Xav!

Dear Xavier,

You have been so excited to be turning the big 4, and now you are finally here!  Although the time has probably felt like forever for you, it certainly hasn't for your sentimental Mummy.  I feel like it wasn't that long ago that we were synced together in labour and meeting for that first magical time.

The last year has been an adjustment for you, working through the new family dynamics as Grace is now at school and I'm having to spend more time away from you for Uni.  I know it's been tough at times for you, but you are bravely moving forward and forming a different type of normal.  Your growing into such a beautiful little boy, but there is still a part of you that needs that reconnection back to me - which sometimes means you get upset if I have to leave.  When I am around though, you often find me for cuddles and kisses and then you are happy to go off again.  It's not unusual to have this happen every half hour or so, or even just a quick cuddle of my leg as you dash from one activity to another.  I hope you never get to old for cuggles.  You've also wanted to spend more of the night in our bed having cuddles.  I know it's probably because you are missing me during the day, so just catching up on time overnight and I don't mind at all.  I love waking up in the morning, with your arms slung over me and your soft breathe on  my cheek. Every morning you wake so happy and I really cherish our morning talks and snuggles.

You are loving pre-school and have a little group of friends that you have become very attached too.  One little boy especially that has become one of your favourite people.  We hear stories about Deklan all.the.time!  Everything is judged by if "Deklan would like it?"  Deklan for a while only wore shorts to pre-school, so of course, that is all you would wear - even on cold winter mornings!  I had a chat to Deklans mum and from then on she sent Deklan in pants, so then you were happy to wear yours.  We bought you a new pair of running shoes and the first things you said about them was "Deklan is going to love these!"  You were so excited when I said we could invited Deklan along to your birthday, but then I think you were a bit star struck when he did come!  I haven't got the heart to break it to you that Deklan will be heading off to school next year and you have another year of pre-school.  Another little boy that you have become good friends with and who will be in your class in prep is going to be starting up at pre-school soon, so I'm hoping that makes it easier for when Deklan leaves.  You teacher Miss Amanda says you do wonderful at school, and have so much fun.  She's always telling me about the crazy and witty things you have to say and says they are always laughing about you!  Funny little boy!

The love you and your big sister share is beautiful to witness.  There are plenty of disagreements, but most of the time you spend together is in sibling bliss.  You've both gotten to the age where most problems or arguments can be sorted out between you, which makes life very easy for your parents!  I love hearing you both manipulate negotiate with each other, and most of the time it all works out perfectly fine with no adult assistance.  Although you've adjusted to lots more time playing by yourself, you still relish the times you and Grace can engross in some togetherness.  Every morning I feel guilty for hurrying you both up and breaking the wonderfully imaginative games that you create together.  Grace, being the beautiful soul that she is, is still very inclusive of you and not yet showing signs of being too cool to hang out with her younger brother. 

You have such a beautiful imagination, and spend so much of the day playing in your own little world.  Your cars and trains are favourites at the moment, especially the little electric trains you got from Nanny and us for your birthday.  I'm trying to spark your interest back into drawing, but your not fussed and more prefer to be riding your bike or zooming the cars around on the tiles.  Your beloved matchbox cars (all 100 of them!) are still your go to toys.  you can spend hours pushing a tiny little car around the house, pulling up mats as you go to make bumps.  I've always got a few random cars in my handbag, which makes for waiting around or uni visits with me so much easier as you play around on the floor.  You also love cooking, and we often have impromptu cooking days baking some of your favourite recipes - mainly muffins, cakes and biscuits.  You have a real sweet tooth, and unlike your sister who can regulate how much sweet stuff she can eat, you could quite easily gorge yourself forever.  

I'm expecting a growth spurt soon, as it seems you've been the same height and weight for a while now!  I weighed you the other day, and at 4 y.o you weigh 17kgs (in Pj's) and are 105cm tall.  I looked back over Grace's book and at the same age she was closer to 20kgs and 115cms tall!  You are such a lightweight to pick up, and as you are so small, I'm able to carry you for small times if you need it.  You've stepped up the amount of food you want lately though, so I'm expecting some growth to happen! 

Xav, you are my little shining beam who lights up our life.  Having you around is never boring, whether we are laughing at your quick wit or pulling our hair out with your crazy ways - it's always fun.  I love you so much Xav, and the last 4 years have been some of my favourite as I've watched you grow and bloom into a confidant little boy.  I feel so blessed to be your Mother, and also for the special bond that we have together - it's overwhelming sometimes how connected I feel to you. 

I love you Xav xx