Her first lost tooth

 
After 5 weeks of having a wobbly front tooth, Grace's very first tooth has fallen out.  I think she's had the longest wobbly tooth in history, she was so gentle and careful with it - both excited and nervous about it coming out.  She put herself on a self imposed diet of soft food in the last few weeks, scared that she'd bite into something hard and without realising, swallow her own tooth!  She was also worried about the blood loss (she's getting better, but still not great with blood) and having to deal with that at school.  Lucky it all worked out exactly as she'd hoped, and she lost her very first tooth in the privacy of her own home with a parent around to help.

When it did finally come loose (it had been barely hanging on over the last week!), it was just after school and Duane was home with the kids.  Grace started crying, and Duane wasn't sure what was wrong as she sat crying with her mouth firmly closed.  Finally she said it was her tooth, so Duane asked her to open up so he could have a look and sure enough there was just a big gaping hole!  The tooth was floating around loose in her mouth, so he got her to spit it into a tissue and they cleaned it up.  Once I was home, we put it in the little decorated match box that we had waiting and left it on the kitchen bench for the tooth fairy.

The next morning, immediately after opening her eyes, Grace said she just knew that the tooth fairy had been last night as she'd felt her tickle her on the cheek.  Xav, who was hoping for a visit from the fairy himself, was quite dissapointed that he hadn't felt her come, to which Grace explained that she wouldn't be visiting him until he also started loosing teeth!  She jumped out of (our) bed and ran out to see if her tooth was still on the table.  The match box was still there, but also was a little wooden tooth box covered in fairy dust.  She carefully opened up the drawer of the box and inside was a delicate silver charm bracelet with a single fairy charm.  She was over the moon and thrilled that the tooth fairy had left her something so special.  Xav was unfussed with the offering, and just said "Where is the money?"  The tooth fairy had also been kind enough to allow us to keep her tooth as it's her very first lost one and something sentinmental Mummies like to keep - very understanding tooth fairy!

Catching Babies

I'm 5 weeks into this semester and I'm still not sure how I'm going to fit everything in!  I thought last semester was busy, but this one is even worse and I'm having a great time but longing for some down time.  I've started shifts at the hospital, which has been amazing, but taking up so much time, that I've haven't even started any study yet.  I was rostered in birth suites for the first 2 weeks and was so lucky to have a beautiful birth on each shift.  On my first shift I cared for a woman from the beginning of her labour until about 4 hours postnatal - it was a wonderful spontaneous birth and I was lucky enough to catch the baby at birth.  I was buddied that time with a midwife that seemed to have a skewed idea of being "with woman" and spent most of the shift downstairs sucking on nicotine.  It was stressful for me at times, being in charge of monitoring (via doppler) interpreting and caring for the woman - mostly by myself, on my very first shift.  I felt like I was constantly looking for the midwife, so that she could teach and support me - but mostly having to just do it all myself. There was a shift change just before the woman birthed, so a new midwife was their for pushing.  I can't begin to describe the feeling of catching my very first baby!  Knowing that I was the first hands on a brand new baby, is such an honour and privilege and a moment that I hope to always respect.  Seeing that brand new family bond and meet their baby for the first time is just so beautiful and it almost feels like an intrusion to be there. 

The next shift I was also lucky enough to support a woman from the beginning of her labour to the end.  This time though, I had a wonderful midwife who was so kind and supportive and gave me lots of confidence.  I once again cared for the woman through the labour, but this time I knew that the midwife was close by and would be there instantly if I needed her.  A funny thing happened this time though.  We'd just examined the woman and she was 4 cm dilated.  About half hour later the midwife went out to the Midwives station to right the results on the board.  It was a quiet night and I was the only person in with a labouring woman, all the other Midwives and Dr's were sitting around talking and drinking coffee trying to stay awake during the night shift.  About half hour after the midwife left (so 1 hour after the examination) I started noticing signs of what I thought could have been second stage, which is time for pushing.  I thought during each contraction I could see parts of the head, but wasn't totally sure  as it was a first time mum and we'd only just assessed her an hour before as 4cm dilated.  A few other things had me questioning if it really was second stage though, so I walked out to the Midwives station (remember, it's my second shift and I've fronting up to all the midwives, Dr's etc here!) and said "I know we only just assessed her and I've probably being very presumptuous and over cautious, BUT I think I can see signs of second stage"  They all kinda looked at the board then looked back at me as if to say "Crazy student has no idea what she is talking about!"  The midwife I was with said, "Ok, I'll come have a look and then go for my break - baby may just be in a posterior position and giving early signs of pushing, but it's most likely not time yet"  She came in, checked her quickly then announced "You were right!  Head is on view"  Half an hour later I caught my second baby!

On another shift, I also made the rookie move of not getting gloves on quick enough.  It is drummed into our brain to "Never trust a Multip", So never trust a woman that has laboured before - I've definitely learnt that now!  I was with a fantastic midwife caring for a woman having her 3rd baby.  She'd just done an examination and she was 7cm.  I turned around to wash my hands and get some new gloves on, turned back and there was a head out laying on the bed - I missed that catch!!  All the midwives had a laugh about that and recalled there own stories of taking their eyes off the woman for a second and turning back to see a baby already there!  I'll hopefully never do that again.  Everything was fine though, and even though baby came out very quickly she had no tears - thank goodness!

I also had one of my follow throughs have a magical birth on Monday.  It was by far my favourite as I'd been able to do all her antenatal care and we had such a great relationship and understanding of each other by the time she was in labour.  I felt so comfortable in her birth, and having that connection antenatally made caring for her in labour so much more intuitive.  I was able to once again do all her care and support in the birth and catch her beautiful little baby.  The high after that birth was amazing and I can't believe that I get to feel so good doing my job.  Seeing her grow through the pregnancy and then watch that transition from woman to mother is such a special relationship to witness.  It is an absolute privilege to be there at that moment and I try very hard to be respectful of the new family whilst still going about doing all the things I need to do. 

I've got a couple of week in the Antenatal clinic now, so lots of talking, blood pressure, palpation's and education - which is certainly different for the highly emotional and sometimes full-on environment of birth suites.  I'm hoping that these few weeks won't be as busy though so I can finally start on my actual course work as I haven't even opened anything yet and I have a research literature review due in a few weeks followed by 2 more essays not long after.  I'm not stressed about the work though, I know I'll get it done.  It may not be at the standard I normally like to submit, but I realise now that my time on the shifts is where most of my learning will be happening and although my marks won't reflect how well I'm going clinically (it's just pass/fail) I will be gaining so much. 

Happy 4th Birthday Xav!

Dear Xavier,

You have been so excited to be turning the big 4, and now you are finally here!  Although the time has probably felt like forever for you, it certainly hasn't for your sentimental Mummy.  I feel like it wasn't that long ago that we were synced together in labour and meeting for that first magical time.

The last year has been an adjustment for you, working through the new family dynamics as Grace is now at school and I'm having to spend more time away from you for Uni.  I know it's been tough at times for you, but you are bravely moving forward and forming a different type of normal.  Your growing into such a beautiful little boy, but there is still a part of you that needs that reconnection back to me - which sometimes means you get upset if I have to leave.  When I am around though, you often find me for cuddles and kisses and then you are happy to go off again.  It's not unusual to have this happen every half hour or so, or even just a quick cuddle of my leg as you dash from one activity to another.  I hope you never get to old for cuggles.  You've also wanted to spend more of the night in our bed having cuddles.  I know it's probably because you are missing me during the day, so just catching up on time overnight and I don't mind at all.  I love waking up in the morning, with your arms slung over me and your soft breathe on  my cheek. Every morning you wake so happy and I really cherish our morning talks and snuggles.

You are loving pre-school and have a little group of friends that you have become very attached too.  One little boy especially that has become one of your favourite people.  We hear stories about Deklan all.the.time!  Everything is judged by if "Deklan would like it?"  Deklan for a while only wore shorts to pre-school, so of course, that is all you would wear - even on cold winter mornings!  I had a chat to Deklans mum and from then on she sent Deklan in pants, so then you were happy to wear yours.  We bought you a new pair of running shoes and the first things you said about them was "Deklan is going to love these!"  You were so excited when I said we could invited Deklan along to your birthday, but then I think you were a bit star struck when he did come!  I haven't got the heart to break it to you that Deklan will be heading off to school next year and you have another year of pre-school.  Another little boy that you have become good friends with and who will be in your class in prep is going to be starting up at pre-school soon, so I'm hoping that makes it easier for when Deklan leaves.  You teacher Miss Amanda says you do wonderful at school, and have so much fun.  She's always telling me about the crazy and witty things you have to say and says they are always laughing about you!  Funny little boy!

The love you and your big sister share is beautiful to witness.  There are plenty of disagreements, but most of the time you spend together is in sibling bliss.  You've both gotten to the age where most problems or arguments can be sorted out between you, which makes life very easy for your parents!  I love hearing you both manipulate negotiate with each other, and most of the time it all works out perfectly fine with no adult assistance.  Although you've adjusted to lots more time playing by yourself, you still relish the times you and Grace can engross in some togetherness.  Every morning I feel guilty for hurrying you both up and breaking the wonderfully imaginative games that you create together.  Grace, being the beautiful soul that she is, is still very inclusive of you and not yet showing signs of being too cool to hang out with her younger brother. 

You have such a beautiful imagination, and spend so much of the day playing in your own little world.  Your cars and trains are favourites at the moment, especially the little electric trains you got from Nanny and us for your birthday.  I'm trying to spark your interest back into drawing, but your not fussed and more prefer to be riding your bike or zooming the cars around on the tiles.  Your beloved matchbox cars (all 100 of them!) are still your go to toys.  you can spend hours pushing a tiny little car around the house, pulling up mats as you go to make bumps.  I've always got a few random cars in my handbag, which makes for waiting around or uni visits with me so much easier as you play around on the floor.  You also love cooking, and we often have impromptu cooking days baking some of your favourite recipes - mainly muffins, cakes and biscuits.  You have a real sweet tooth, and unlike your sister who can regulate how much sweet stuff she can eat, you could quite easily gorge yourself forever.  

I'm expecting a growth spurt soon, as it seems you've been the same height and weight for a while now!  I weighed you the other day, and at 4 y.o you weigh 17kgs (in Pj's) and are 105cm tall.  I looked back over Grace's book and at the same age she was closer to 20kgs and 115cms tall!  You are such a lightweight to pick up, and as you are so small, I'm able to carry you for small times if you need it.  You've stepped up the amount of food you want lately though, so I'm expecting some growth to happen! 

Xav, you are my little shining beam who lights up our life.  Having you around is never boring, whether we are laughing at your quick wit or pulling our hair out with your crazy ways - it's always fun.  I love you so much Xav, and the last 4 years have been some of my favourite as I've watched you grow and bloom into a confidant little boy.  I feel so blessed to be your Mother, and also for the special bond that we have together - it's overwhelming sometimes how connected I feel to you. 

I love you Xav xx