Tina Fey: "A Prayer for My Daughter"

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

(Thanks to Ave for finding this!)

Date night

Grace had a social dilemma tonight.  Should she attend the "guaranteed to be awesome" bowling birthday party with Mstr Cooper or attend her schools bush dance.  After much deliberation, the thought of boot-scooting the night away with all her school friends won over.  Duane was going to stay home with Xav and watch the first game of the Suns (happening just up the road) and Grace and I were going to kick up our heels.

Except.  I got damn sick.  I've felt like I've been fighting off a cold for the last week, but then Thursday night I came down with body aches and a sore head.  Friday it turned into a full blown head cold, with sinus pain thrown in for good measure.  After the school run and pre-school drop, I came home, and changed back into my Pj's then spent the rest of the day on the couch sleeping, drinking loads of water and popping echinacea pills.

Today has been along the same lines.  I was hoping to feel better by this afternoon, but didn't so sent Duane along to the bush dance in my place.  I let Xav pick dinner, and he chose Pancakes - so that's what we had.  We cooked pancakes then ate them with Jam and maple syrup - Xav was in heaven!!!  Then he wanted to watch his birth Dvd (it's something he like watching often) so we had a cuddle a re-visited that magical time in both of our lives.  Afterwards we got into our Pj's then headed out to the ice-cream shop (Mc d's!) drive-through for a soft serve for Xav and a caramel sundae for me!  To complete the romanticness of our date, we headed up to the top of the outlook to watch the Gold Coast lights, and eat our ice-cream.  Xav loved sitting up in the front seat of the Torago, eating his ice-cream and pointing out all the familiar landmarks.  We could also see the new AFL stadium all lit up and ready for the inaugural game which was starting up soon.  I have got some photos to add in here, but that would require getting off the couch and I really can't be bothered.

**Duane has just walked in the door with a very exhausted Grace in his arms.  They apparently had a wonderful night eating, dancing and mingling.  Duane with all the yummy food and basically did a progressive dinner - loaded baked potato, soup and bread, curry, cupcakes and popcorn.  Grace had a a blast dancing with all her friends and running amok around the school in the dark.  I'm upset I missed it because of this damn cold, but there is always next year.

If I was a good blogger......

So many things have happened over the last few months, and I'm completely behind in blogging about them.

I'd come to the page and be so overwhelmed with what I hadn't blogged, I'd just close the page. 


I wanted to blog about Xavier's Autumn festival at pre-school and how excited he was to have Duane and I with him for the afternoon.  He was so proud to have us sit on the little wooden stumps eating the vegie soup and bread the class had spent the day preparing.  He had our undivided attention, as Grace was being picked up by a friend so we could spend some time with Xav. It's so lovely to see him become more confidant at pre-school, and not just be in Grace's shadow.

I also wanted to write about Grace's Autumn festival and how fantastic and wonderful that was.  Watching her with all her friends do a performance for the parents; the kids showing off their new Italian skills and singing some songs in the language.  Then spending the morning doing different Autumn themed activities with Grace who was so proud to have not only Xav and I, but Grandma, Trudy and Jasper joining for the celebration. Everyone bought a Autumn inspired dish to share for lunch, and we sat out in the playground in the sun eating all the beautiful, home-cooked food!  Grace and Grandma had made apple crumble together, which is the kids favourite and judging by the clean plate, everyone else enjoyed it too!  We ate warm curries, rice, apple pie, pumpkin scones, pumpkin soup and freshly baked bread.  It was delicious and a wonderful way to celebrate the last day of term for the Preppies.

I would have then blogged about the holidays, and how much fun it was to have Grace home again.  She did ask on the first day if she could go back to school, but that was the only glimmer of boredom!  The 3 weeks were packed with so mach fun and adventure, and I loved having my beautiful girl here every day!  We went to parks, visited friends, spent days at Dreamworld, shopped, ate out, hung around the house, did craft, had some play dates and spent some wonderful time together.  We did a big trip up to Brisbane with a group of Grace's school friends, going up on the train and visiting the Museum, GOMA and Southbank parklands.  It was a crazy busy day, with 12 children all up and 6 adults - alcohol was definitely talked about for next time we plan such a huge event!  The kids were wonderfully behaved and spent the train ride sitting in their sits talking and finger knitting - which caused a few glances and comments from fellow travellers!

I would also liked to have blogged about our 5 night camping trip to beautiful Yamba.  The caravan park we stayed in was a kids paradise with a plethora of activities, even for when the weather was a little crappy.  There were 2 pools (1 with awesome kids slides), jumping pillow, 3 outdoor playgrounds and 1 inside playground.  Plus all the natural attractions surrounding like the sandy river, which was great for crab hunting and shallow water splashing.  We did have a bit of rain, especially heavy on one night that was a little annoying, but all in all it was great!  It certainly was too cold for me to brave bathers and swim, but lucky the dad's were all keen to take the kids swimming every day.  The kids certainly didn't care about the temperature, and were nagging at every opportunity to go swimming.  There were a few unfortunate events though, mainly Trudy getting a diarrhoea bug and Murray spending a night in hospital with hives.  Lets just say Trude was very thankful that she had her own private ensuite to contaminate use.  There was plenty of glen 20 sprayed around and diligence with all hand washing, which seemed to save it being passed on.

It was a great trip though, made even better by having a good group to go with.  The kids all played wonderfully, with barely any disagreements with each other.  They made friends with a little girl next door to us, and spent so much time playing with her. Her parents had a great tent set up and would invite all our kids over for movies after lunch, which gave us all a break and some quiet time!

There are so many beautiful parts around Yamba that we didn't get to explore, so a trip will definitely be planned for there again!  It would be a fantastic spot to visit in summer as there are so many wonderful water activities to do, so we might head there instead of Lennox next year.

I'd liked to have also blogged about Mothers Day - a very special day for me!  Firstly, a few days before, Xav's preschool had a Mothers day morning tea.  Xav loves the time I get to spend with him at his school, and was very proud to serve me a variety of cakes, scones and slices alongside a beautiful heart mobile that he'd made for me.  It was also so lovely to catch up with all the other Mums, and start to get to know them better, just as I did for Grace when she was the same age.  I bet Xav's 'best friend' Deklan's Mum, who told me her son is always talking about Xav, as is Xav about her son!  Xav got a new pair of runners, and he was going to be wearing them to school for the first time today.  He was so excited and told me "Deklan is going to love my shoes"  I'm just so happy that he has adjusted so well to not having Grace there, it was hard for him for a few weeks, but he loves going to school now and always just sends me off with a kiss and a wave!  He even tells me now that he doesn't want me to stay for morning circle!

~~Hand made and hand sewn byGrace for me xx~~

I would have also blogged about the beautiful present Grace so proudly presented me on Mothers Day.  She's been working very hard for weeks on making me my very own, completely Grace-made bookmark.  She'd made the felt from fleece, which is a long process.  She's then blanket stitched all around the outside herself.  I love the obvious stop and start marks on the sewing, it shows how every day she did a little bit.  It's beautiful and such a keepsake, and doing a wonderful job of being used as it was designed.  She's also made me a card which had one side written in English and then the other in Italian

"Augurissimi a le mamma bella con amore da Grace"

"Best wisshes to you beautiful Mum with love from Grace"

The other lovely present I received was a cornflower blue pair of ugg-boots, as requested!  Although they are beautiful and warm, nothing beats the handmade presents on Mothers day.  I'll certainly treasure the ones I got this year.

If I was being diligent, I would have also blogged about my first follow through birth as a student midwife.  It was amazing, beautiful, daunting and nerve-racking - all rolled into one!  It certainly was a miracle though and reinforced my commitment to being a midwife.  I've got another lady due in the middle of June, so back to sleeping with my phone close by in case the call comes in the middle of the night.  It's exciting and exhausting being so connected to the phone, being nervous that you'll miss the call and miss the birth. 

Uni is going well and I'm on the down hill ride to exams.  I've submitted all assignments for this semester and am just waiting anxiously for grades to come back.  I've got an exam worth 70% of the course in a little over 3 weeks, so I'm going to be head down trying to fill my brain with information about pharmacology and pathophysiology.  All exciting, but brain-draining.  I've also got another exam worth 50%, but I'm not as stressed about that one.  I had my clinical practical exam yesterday and passed easily, no actual mark though as it's just a pass/fail.  I'm still hoping to pull at least distinctions for all 3 subjects, but I've definitely not had the time to dedicate to study.  I only really have Thursday and Fridays for school work (as I have Xav the other days), but I encourage my women to roster their antenatal appointments on those days.  The appointments can take FOREVER, so sometimes the whole day is written off with waiting around and I've got no school work done!  I'm trying to lower my mark expectations though, as I don't think I can keep up the good marks with such a full on course.  Although the coursework is challenging, juggling the rest of the clinical requirement is what is hard.  I can't even imagine how next semester is going to go as I'll be adding into the mix 2 permanent shifts at the hospital EVERY week!  I'm looking forward to it though, and am confidant that it will be fine.

There so much else that has happened over the last few months, but that's the main stuff.  I miss blogging and writing about the small moments, not just the big things - so I'm going to try to get back into it.

The sweetest thing...

Tonight, my little boy said one of the sweetest things I think I've ever heard.

I was busy getting ready to go out to a Women's circle meet (a whole other blog post - amazing!).  I was rushing about; getting kids ready for bed, getting dressed, finding yoga mats and reading stories.  Xav was lingering in the hall way and reached out for me to pick him up as I passed.  He loves being carried around on my hip and getting cuddles (yep, the nearly 4 y/o - lucky he's a lightweight!), so I scooped him up and we had a big squishy cuddle.  I popped him down and was about to head on to the next job, when he whispered,

"Do you know what my heart says Mummy?"  

"No, what does it say Xavie?"  I asked.

He placed his hand on his chest and lifted it up and down, in time to the beat.

"It says Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum."  He whispered in a very earnest little voice.

I melted.  And had to scoop him up for more delicious little boy cuddles.

This little soft moment was had and over soon enough though.  He squirmed down form my arms and was was back to playing car crashes with his matchbox cars - complete with loud, raucous noise.

Easter 2011

I'm writing this in a chocolate stupor, but still managing to pop tiny little brown sugary cocoa drops into my mouth.  I feel slightly ill, but the promise I made to myself was as of tomorrow I'm having a break from all things sweet, hence the reason I'm on over load now.  Totally reasonable.

So today is the day that the cute little bunny hops in overnight to drop off some chocolatey goodness.  Easter this year was very low key and relaxed.  I normally try to do something exciting for the kids (that doesn't involve copious amounts of sugar!), but I didn't have time to make what I wanted as we only just got back from camping.  The kids woke (in our bed of course!) and Grace was immediately worried that Easter bunny had been and hadn't dropped anything off as there was nothing beside the bed.  Easter bunny is very clever though, and although there were no children IN the beds, he/she could tell that children were suppossed to be there so dropped of some treats.  Both kids were given a small lindt bunny and a egg cup and spoon.  Then it was outside for a quick hunt for some smaller eggs, followed by eating all found eggs.  It's Easter - the only day of the year where a breakfast of chocolate is allowed.

Grandma and Poppy came up and the kids gladly received MORE chocolate in the form of an elegant rabbit each.  More chocolate was consumed as I prepared a lovely breakfast of pancakes, mixed berries and vanilla yoghurt.  Yum!

The rest of the day was spent with the kids gutsing on chocolate and pottering around the house.  Then it was over to The Dews house for a pot-luck dinner.  The kids and I had cooked veggie frittata and baked hot cross buns - which both turned out really yummy!  The kids got more chocolate and spent the afternoon running around on a sugar rush!  Thank-goodness they both fell asleep in the car on the way home, so it was a nice simple transfer to bed!