Hubby to the rescue

It's seems the dreaded gastro bug has invaded our house again.

I have been feeling queasy since yesterday. I haven't vomited yet, but I am nervously waiting for it to happen. I am trying my hardest to avoid all triggers, but this is not being helped by my son's rotten nappies. It seems that Xavier has a touch of diarrhoea too, he is also a little grumpy and constantly clawing at my top trying to get to the milk.

Grace was a little off yesterday, so we stayed home from playgroup so not to share anything around. She started getting warm yesterday afternoon, so after dinner and a dose of panadol she went to bed in an exhausted heap. I checked on her just before I went to bed, she felt clammy so I fully expected her to pay us a visit overnight.

I went to bed early, hoping that an early night would perk me up a little. Duane had other ideas, but after I gave him a graphic rundown of how I felt he quickly turned over and gave me his back!

So last night both kids spent in with us. Thankfully we have a king size bed, and even then the room is tight. I had a relatively good sleep, in between Xavier pulling my top down for a feed every 5 hours or so.

Today was suppossed to be Grace's first day in her new school. She has been moved up to the 3-4 year old room, seems she was getting a little bored with the younger ones. Either that or they got sick of her! Anyway we were laying on the couch this morning when she started coughing and complaining of a sore throat, then it all came up. Vomit all over me, her and in every crevice of the couch. It was disgusting too....real, chunky smelly vomit. How I didn't heave myself I'll never know. Cleaning up was not much fun, it has been raining her for the last week and the washing is piled up. Lucky I guess that my practical husband bought me a dryer for Christmas one year, and that was even before kids!

So it was no school for her. How was I going to cope considering I was feeling so crap myself? Super Daddy to the rescue.

Of course considering the crappy weather Duane was quite willing to take any excuse, so within an hour of my distressed call he was home tending to us all.

We all went to bed together for a lovely sleep and now the boys are out getting some groceries. Grace is lying on the couch munching on some apple in between joining me for some cuddles. Although she is sick she is still insisting on wearing her pink fairy skirt. Cant imagine all that tulle is very comfortable to sleep in, but oh well.

Oh and after Xavier's party on the weekend my camera decided to conk it. I'm glad it made it through Xav's first birthday, but I hate not having it on a daily basis. I love just taking random photos of my kids every day. At least it is under warranty, but wont be back for a week or so. Lets hope its here in time for out holiday on the 2nd August. I am so excited about this. We are going to stay at a farm stay in the Hunter Valley. Will be lovely to get away together as a family. Kids can watch the animals and Mum & Dad can sip on wine!

1st birthday Celebrations

~~Our family on Xavier's Birthday~

So we have spent the last week dragging out Xavier's first birthday celebrations.

It all started with Xavier coming into our bed nice and early on his birthday morning. Obviously was feeling sentimental and wanted to share the moment with Mummy and Daddy. I woke at 4am and spent the next 10 minutes awake cuddling my little boy and reminiscing about his beautiful birth. I was even tragic enough to grab the camera and take some snaps at exactly 4.07am, but they didn't work too well as he flipped over and squashed up to Duane's back!

Duane left for work at the usual time of 5.30, but I got to snuggle in bed with both kids until 6.30am. Grace & I sung Xavier Happy Birthday (actually Grace didn't stop singing this!) We enjoyed a yummy breakfast and more cuddles then it was time for playgroup. Grandma came around so that she could come along with us (and to firmly hold the cake in the car).

We had spent the night before frantically preparing Xav's train cake which he was going to share with all his playgroup pals. Didn't turn out too bad, there were a few dodgy bits but overall it looked pretty good. It was also suspiciously missing some of the decorations, mainly the smarties. Seems Grace had taken a liking to them and had been venturing to the fridge and stolen a few.

Xav had a blast at playgroup, mainly doing the usual bolt to outside and making Mum chase him around. All the kids happily sat around munching on their fruit, cramming it all in as they knew that cake was coming. As the cake came out there was a chatter of excitement, seems the under 4's were impressed with my cake decorating skills!

Taa-da:

~~Train cake - Version 1~~

Xavier just wanted to get into in straight away, he really didn't care for the singing business he just wanted to EAT. We managed to make it through a quick version of happy Birthday before Xavier grabbed hold of the cake and swiped a piece of licorice and a handful of icing.

~~Xavier waiting to dig in~~

So the cake was demolished and all the kids stuffed their face full of the sugary goodness. Grace was most impressed with the lollies & the icing, couldn't really care for the cake though.

All that hard work and my masterpiece was reduced to being smeared over kids faces!

Do after the clean up, we went back to playing. Xavier and I were doing some puzzles, when I looked up and Duane walked in the door. What a surprise! He wasn't supposed to finish work until 11.30am, but he had gotten of an hour earlier to come and spend some time with his little boy. Grace was excited because she got to show him off and around. He had never been to our playgroup before, but with Grace as a guide he got to see EVERYTHING and meet EVERYONE.

Xavier was starting to get exhausted, seems this being 1 business is tiring. He crashed in the car holding onto his dangling spider toy. He always holds onto it when he falls asleep in the car, very cute.

~~Falling asleep on the way home, clutching his toy~~

We were going to have a picnic or head out to dreamworld, but the weather was a bit yucky so we decided to just stay at home and have a little indoor family picnic. We also gave Xav his present from Nanny, his first Tonka truck. He loves it, mainly piling all his favourite magnets in the back and pushing it around the floor. Xavier then got to unwrap his present from Mummy, Daddy & Grace. It was 2 beautiful wooden play centres, one is a farm and the other is a town. They are probably a little young for him now, but I don't think it will be too long before he is constructing cities.

So after playing the afternoon way, it was dinner, bath, boob, book and bed for Xavier. Then Mummy sat down and watched his birth again and bored Daddy to tears going over every minute detail.

As Xav's actual birthday was a Thursday, we decided to have a little party for him on the Sunday. It was an early lunch party, so the little kids could all go home and snooze later. They all had fun jumping on the jumping castle, playing on the swings, bouncing on the tramp and eating lots of food. Lia was so exhausted by it all she fell asleep on the swing....how cute!

~~Emily, Cooper, Malia & Xav enjoying sausages~~

~~This partying is all too much!~~

Grace and Cooper were having a great time in the dress up box, coming out and parading around in all sorts of lovely creations. At one stage cooper was insisting on wearing Grace's pink headband & the helmet!

~~Train cake - Version 2~~

I did a modified version of the train cake. After having so much left over from the one I made for playgroup, I culled a few of the carriages for the party one. Still looked ok, and everyone said it tasted great. Xav and Grace both enjoyed making a mess with the blue icing, smearing it everywhere. ~~Good balance Xav!~~

~~Sticky fingers~~

This photo hear just crack me up. It's taken just after Nicole had asked Grace to move out of the way so that she could get a photo of Xav with his cake. Well it seems that nobody puts Grace in the corner, she was devastated to think that somebody didn't want her in the photo.

~~What about me, it isn't fair~~

Xavier was spoilt rotten with presents. He was given t-shirt, hoodie and book from the Dews, taboodle crayons from the Cahills, wooden blocks from the Truets, boat bath toys from the Ryans, set of Cars books (complete with fluffy dice) from the Sparks, Adidas shoes and Myer voucher from the Pengs and a train set from Grandma and Pop. Completely spoilt!

I was also surprised with a gift from Nicole. A gorgeous pic that she had taken of Xav and I together. It was a total surprise & I absolutely adore the photo. The Pengs also generously gave me a bottle of Chloe perfume, Duane a pair of sunglasses that are also an MP3 player and camera & Grace the most beautiful yellow Cristian Dior sundress. I can't wait for it to warm up so she can swan around in that. I would have loved it for myself, but unfortunately the darn thing doesn't stretch!!!!

So after a lovely lunch we all went to bed for a nice relaxing snooze. I love our afternoon siesta's together. Just beautiful.

So there was our week of celebrating Xav's first year.

Happy 1st Birthday Xavier

Hooray! Your now 1!

And what a great year it has been.

Your now walking with more confidence. Stiffly and cautiously you put one foot in front of the other, hand clenched into fists and pressed to your side offering balance. Sometimes your concentration wavers and you break into a dance routine. Flapping your arms around and flicking your hips from side to side, we call it your "Peter Garret" dance. You have also mastered the art of walking and holding onto your toys or eating, such a clever boy! Just in the last few days you are able to get into a standing position without holding on to anything.

Your showing signs of being a determined little fella. If something isn't going your way or being taken off you, you certainly let it be down that you are not impressed. Although its great that you are so assertive, it is quite entertaining how one second you can be absolutely heartbroken and screaming only to go completely quiet and happy with a contraband item. My keys and phone are the silencers at the moment, guaranteed instant happiness.

Your absolute favourite toy at the moment is the stacking rings. You spend ages putting them all on, dumping them off and starting again. It's so cute to watch you hold each ring and bang it around on the stand trying so hard to get it through the hole. Your little mind knows what it wants to do, but your hands are sometimes clumsy. Once all rings are on, you sit back triumphionatily and give yourelf a congratualtey clap.

You are going through a "velcro" phase at the moment. You constantly want to be near or on me. It's cute and all, but geez I'm not that much fun, am I? I do enjoy the snuggles though, and I guess I did request a Mummy's boy. My fault.

You are starting to chatter in your own little language. We spend our first few moments together in the morning copying each other. You always wake up so happy of a morning and the exact same way every day. You little body squirms, then you raise your head and have a quick peek around. Your head goes back to the bed and you scrunch it in to the mattress as you raise you bum into the air (usually giggling at the same time!) Once your routine stretch is out of the way you immediately go over to the bedside table to get either the Air con remote or to fiddle with Dad's alarm clock. Every morning is the same.

Oh and yes....you spend nearly every night in Mummy and Daddy's bed. You still enjoy your overnight snack from Mum, and Mum is too much of a softy to deny you. You love cuddling up to Daddy or Mummy, even better if you can have a hand touching both of us.

You are still loving "Mummy's" milk. Having a morning, lunch (sometimes) and bedtime feed, and of course the overnights. Of a night when Daddy says it's milk time you get so excited and start making a cute little half giggle/half cry noise. Daddy puts you on the other side of the room so Mummy can watch you stagger so excitedly over to her. Your feeds now are so quick, I often wonder how long we will enjoy this time together. We have done so well to make it this far, but I hope we get a little longer.

You absolutely adore your big sister. When ever you see her your whole face lights up and your body shakes with excitement. You follow her around eager to get any form of attention from her. You are at your happiest when you and Grace are chasing each other up and down the hall or around the lounge room. It's so cute watching you both exhaust yourself, then collapse into a giggling mass on the floor. Watching the 2 of you interact is one of my favourite pass time, I could watch you both for hours. Grace is showing remarkable patience with you and some of your "ways". When she is sitting down watching a favourite TV program, you are constantly at the TV either turning it up full blast or flicking between the channels. You regularly check for our reaction then go straight back to giggling and pushing buttons.

~~Kisses with Mummy (and slipping in the tongue!)~~

Your kisses are just divine and one of our favourite moments together. You open your little mouth up nice and wide, whispering 'ahhhhhh' as you come in close. I kiss you with my lips together, you kiss me with your mouth wide open, then lay your head on my shoulder for a cuddle. These moments are when my whole world stops and it is just us, it is not often that you cuddle into me so still. I treasure these times.

Xavier, the last year has just flown by and yet you have learnt so much. You have grown from my dependant newborn and into a walking, talking, confidant toddler. I have often just sat back and watched you over the last year, hoping that you wouldn't grow so fast but also excited about seeing your personality shine through. You have bought so much love, happiness and life into our family. You have fitted in so well.

We all love you so much, you are our little spark. A breath of fresh air that adds shine to our life every day.

Happy 1st birthday my beautiful boy!

WANTED: 1 time machine, ability to stop time preferred!

Ok, I have searched Ebay but can't find one. I know I have left it a little late, considering the big day is tomorrow but I am still in hope that it can happen.

There just has to be a way to either re-live the last year OR just freeze time? I have done a quick audit in my head and I really don't think that I have been allocated the proper hours. There is 525600 hours in a year, have I really had that many with Xavi? Doubt it....I really think I have been ripped of.

So on those grounds I am asking for an extension of the first year.

Please don't make me go to bed tonight knowing I have a baby, then only have me wake with a toddler.

Oh dear, it's all a bit much for this sentimental Mummy.

It was 1 year ago today that Mum & I searched every Naturopath on the coast trying to get the labour potion.

It was 1 year ago today that I nervously drank it, hoping that I would be meeting my little baby soon

It was 1 year ago today that Duane massaged my feet, desperately searching for the 'induction' trigger that is supposed to be on your sole.

It was 1 year ago today that I went to bed just "knowing" that I would wake later in labour.

And so it is 1 year tomorrow that I gave birth to my precious baby Xavier.

Oh the memories!

That is a day of my life that I will always be able to remember with clarity.

It was such a magical experience, it was the journey to meeting my sweet baby boy.

Being that tomorrow is "The Day", I have been busy preparing a cake for Xavier to share with his playgroup mates.

It's a trial run for his party on the weekend, but I am happy with how it has turned out.

Feeling really flat....

I just feel so Blah today.

I know it's all hormonal, but knowing that still wont snap me out of my slump.

My stupid period is back to its delightful self. I thought it was too good to be true the last 2 times. It's now unbearably heavy and making me feel miserable.

We have just go back from such a beautiful naming day. It was Logan's special day, which also coincided with Loic & Gaelles 30th Birthday. It was such a touching ceremony, welcoming Logan and also remembering Gaelle. A real tear-jerker!

It must have been such a hard day for Loic. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain of loosing your twin. They were best friends with such a loving bond. There relationship is something that I wish for my children, it really was so special.

The ceremony was followed up by a lavish breakfast of fresh croissants and coffee. A perfect way to spend the morning. Xavier & Logan were so cute together, there is a photo of them kissing that I will find to post. Our 2 boys are little hotties....sure to break hearts when they are older!

Duane has just dropped me at home and gone off to golf. Lucky bugger.

Best go find some chocolate and wallow in self pity.

Second time round

I was a relaxed and easy going Mum when Grace was little, but I think I am even more so with Xavier.

I just feel like I have ditched all the unnecessary crap and just gone more with the flow. With Grace I was eager for a "sleep through", cause that indicated that I was doing everything right. Lucky for me she was a great sleeper and we never really had any night time dramas with her. She used to come into our bed at about 4am every morning, but never before. I tried co-sleeping one night with her, but found that neither of us got any sleep.

It's all so different with X. Although I would love a full nights sleep, Its not the be all and end all to get it. I still feed him overnight, which was a no-no with Grace. I remember the Mchn telling me that after 6 months they don't need feeding overnight, so I just used to re-settle Grace if she woke. She'd go straight back to sleep, which was more to do with her placid nature than me having some magic sleep cure. It just doesn't bother me having to feed X. I just find it so much easier to bring him into our bed when he wakes, he feeds & I sleep. Perfect! Night time is our special time. It's just the 2 of us, alone and together.

We had a beautiful moment last night. He was curled into my side, quietly feeding and drifting off to sleep. Duane was on the other side of him, already asleep and snoring. Xavier was stroking my arm as he fed, his warm body tucked into mine. I just layed there watching him and trying to etch the image of him in my memory. His sucking started to slow and he eased himself from my embrace and rolled over to his tummy. One arm reached out to his touch his Daddy's arm, the other reaching back to me. So, so sweet. Why wouldn't I want him sleeping beside me?

On a side note.......My damn period is back and it seems back to normal. I guess last months light one was just a one-off. This time I am so moody and my whole body is aching. I feel constantly nauseous, with a heavy drag in my stomach.

What can I do to make it stop again??????????

I really thought that I was ok.....

I really thought that I was OK with maybe never having anymore babies.

It's only been in the last 2 months that I have been contented and felt that I would be fine never having another child.

Now I am not so sure. I know that it is bought on by a few things, the main one being that my baby is toddling AND about to turn one. I just cant bear the thought of not going through the baby stage again. I am so not ready to pack up that part of my life and move on. Was I fooling myself to think that I was? I actually really thought I was fine with it, but maybe not.

The other thing that has just come up is the longing for a homebirth. I know you don't just have the baby for the birth, but it is on my list of things that I would love to do. I wouldn't just get pregnant just so that I could experience a home birth, but it is something that I know I will do if I am blessed with another child.

So the above has been prompted by the fact that my good friend has just had a homebirth, although unplanned. I am just so excited and relieved for her. Her first birth was traumatic and she was so nervous about this one. I only saw her yesterday, she was 41 weeks and due to be induced on Monday. I gave her all my labour induction potions in the hope that she didn't' have to transfer from the birth centre and have a medical induction. The excitement of her homebirth is for me (she is still in shock from it) but I am so proud of her that she gave birth to her baby boy herself, with none of the trauma of her first birth. She knew what went wrong in her first birth and was courageous enough to look into the alternatives and had a positively beautiful (albeit quick!) birth. I was so relieved to hear the news, but it also has shaken those feelings again of wanting another.

My husband doesn't really get it. He thinks, "Oh great, the kids are getting older we can do this and that with them now", which is great because he is getting on with it. Me on the other hand is being waaaayyyyy too emotional about it all. I find myself just reliving the last few years and wishing get that they could last longer.

I don't think he really understood what I was trying to out today. I tryed to explain it to him in between tears and flipping pancakes for breakfast. He thinks that I am blaming him for not wanting another child yet. It's not even that I want it now, I think i just want to know that there is an option of another child. Oh dear, maybe I don't even know what I want? His only solution was of course practical, "So do you want to go make a baby now?" Stupid fool suggesting that to me in this state of mind!

Damn people having sweet little babies. And I am surrounded by pregnant people, I really should learn to deal with this all now cause it's going to be like fireworks going off with all the babies due around September.

So a big congratulations to Jen and her her beautbiful family. Cass is going to make the best big sister ever & I can't wait to meet your brand new son. Such a special time in your life, enjoy.

Shopping, shopping and shopping.

Well I am extremely proud of myself. I managed to get the kids birthday and Christmas presents on layby without having to deal with the horridness that is the Toy Sale. Hallelujah for Target pre-orders and also getting the heads up that Big W's sale would actually start the day before!!!

It was fantastic, I went there at 4pm on the Wednesday quickly layby'd what I wanted and then left. I heard later that it was absolute chaos on the Thursday, lines snaking around the store to the exit. There was NO way I was attempting that with 2 kids. I am not that motivated by toys!!

The kidlets are getting 2 joint presents this year. First off is a new wooden kitchen, I am so in love with it! It's so cute with its microwave, dishwasher, fridge and oven. I am sure that the kids will be cooking up a storm in it. I know it's a bit girly but I think Xavier is man enough to handle it. I can't wait to replace the plastic one that we have now. It's part of operation "ditch the plastic" that Duane and I are in the process of. More on that later

The second is a fold down table thing that will be for the wooden train set that Xavier is getting for his birthday. I wanted something that they can set the train up on, but still be able to fold it away if need be. This is absolutely perfect. We are going to contact over the picture on the table so it doesn't detract from the train set at all. Duane and I are both super excited about playing trains. I imagine that we will be spending many an hour setting up tracks around the lounge room. I imagine there will be lots of, "Xavier, the train track goes together not apart", "It's not for walking on Xavier", Uh-oh, Xavier has de-railed the train again!" Ahh the fun to be had!

So that will be the bulk of the Christmas presents. The kids also have a hand-made stocking with their name on it, which will be filled with all sorts of fun things. For Grace I am thinking craft stuff, undies and maybe some dolls for her doll house. Not sure about X's, probably some wooden blocks, some cars and maybe some new clothes.

Ahh...feels good to get that out of the way without spending too much money!

Now for Grace's birthday we have gotten her a gorgeous doll house.

I know that this is going to be a hit, so lucky it's on layby otherwise I am sure that I would have ripped it open by now and set it up. You see it's me that is eager to play with the doll house, I can't wait. I also know that Grace is going to love it as she plays with the exact same one when we get our hair cut. It's at a private house and the kids have the doll house, it's great cause it keeps Grace amused and in the one spot!! She is going to be over the moon about it. Bring on November!!

It's a certain little boy's 1st birthday in 2 weeks time. I have his present also, a wooden train that magnetises together and also a wooden farm set. I am in denial about it though, so don't want to think about it too much. I am just going to enjoy the last few weeks of babyhood, blissfully happy not thinking about the up-coming event.

Also Xavier is starting to walk more and more. He is getting more confident at toddling between the couches, but still crawling for long distances. It is so cute watching his little waddle. I have video footage now, it is adorable. He is adorable.

Xavier and I also scored some good books today at the Lifeline Annual Bookfest. Oh my goodness, I was in book heaven. Actually I was so overwhelmed with the amount that I probably would have preferred not as many choices. I spent about 1 1/2 hours pouring over the many titles. I was desperately searching for some of my favourite birthing books (Spiritual Midwifery, Active Birth, Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering) but no luck. I really want to build up a stash of trusted birthing books to lend to people. Oh well, I'll keep searching.

I did find some great kids books though. Lots of horse books to quench Grace's insatiable appetite for all things horsey at the moment. I also got a classic "Black Beauty" one, which I can't wait to read to her. I also was on the look out for a copy of "Snuggle pot & Cuddle pie". I did manage to find one but it was a limited edition one with a BIG price tag. As much as I would have loved it I don't really think spending $68 on it would have been ok.

We have a big day planned tomorrow at the Mudgeeraba Show. I have promised Grace horses and animals, so lets hope things go to plan!