Grace is 2 1/2 years old

My beautiful, sweet first born is 2 1/2 today.

But instead of celebrating, she is asleep beside me on the couch. Raising her head every 20 mins or so to start crying, then shaking then puking. It seems my little Grace has Mummy's bug from the other night.

It started about 6pm when she started crying and saying her tummy hurt. She then layed down on the couch and said she wanted to sleep, then the vomiting started. So it looks like a long night ahead for us. I'm going to spend the night in the lounge with Grace, I would hate to leave her alone and have her be sick in her sleep.

Ok, so I wanted to write a few things about Grace at 2 1/2.

Grace is growing into such a beautiful girl. She is just gorgeous and amazes me everyday with the new things that she has learnt.

She is developing such a great sense of humour and cracks us all up with the things she says.

"He's MY Daddy first Xavier"

"I don't just think so Mummy"

"Just Kidding Mummy"

"Just the girls shopping, Stinky boys at home"

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy.......KIRSTEN"

"Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.........DUANE"

She loves kisses and cuddles, and has just started randomly saying "I love you Mummy" So, So sweet! She is always there to offer a kiss if Xavier has hurt himself, saying "You all right little buddy?"

Grace's manners are just beautiful. She still sometimes needs a prompt, but I get so excited when she says Please & Thank-you without a reminder. She also apologises with a sweet little "Oops sorry, No mean to" If she accidently bumps into someone, it sounds so cute.

Grace's favourite things to do at the moment are helping me to clean, drawing, cutting paper, gluing, making collages, painting, playing in the sandpit, playing shops (with Xavier as the reluctant shop keeper), building lego houses for her animals, bouncing on the trampoline, making cubby houses, fussing over dolly & cooking. She loves playing the role of big sister, bossing Xavier around and making sure he only gets into what he is allowed to.

She's fantastic with the toilet. No accidents at all during the day, she just takes herself off to the toilet whenever she needs to. She goes on the toilet now without the insert, just balances herself. She discovered that she can sit on the toilet and flush it at the same time, I hear her laughing her head off as the water splashes back up to her. She also has developed a funny little habit with the toilet paper. She folds it up ever so neatly before she uses it, I'm a scruncher so not sure where she got that from.

I am so in love with this little girl. Her personality is just gorgoues, I am so blessed that I get to share every day with her. I adore her and can't believe how much she has grown from the tiny, precious newborn that I first met. I love that we can have conversations now & most of the time I understand what she is on about. I love that she is expressing her emotions and learning more about herself.

My beautiful Grace, I love you all the way to the moon, and back.

Yuck, Yuck, Yuck!

I had such a horrible Saturday night.

It started off nice. Xavier went to bed at 6pm, then Grace, Duane & I sat down for chicken Tacos. Yum, Yum!!

They were so yummy and we all had very full tummies at the end. I was feeling ok then, just my mouth was a little salty but I put this down to the taco's.

Grace went to bed, then Duane & I went for a relaxing spa outside. I started getting really hot, and my mouth was getting even saltier and saltier. I thought that I was getting a bit dehydrated so I got out of the spa and filled up on water.

I still wasn't feeling great, so headed to bed for an early night. I had just gotten to sleep when that horrible lurching feeling in the bottom of my stomach started. I raced to the bathroom and up it all came. I really detest vomiting, once I start I just can't stop. Lucky I don't vomit too often, I think that last few time have both been when I was pregnant.

So then night when on and on like that. I slept in the lounge and had no sleep, mainly because I felt like crap but also because I was too scared to go to sleep in case I vomited again. Xavier woke at about 2am for his normal feed, Duane tried to get him just to go back to sleep with him, but he wanted booby. So I waited until I had been sick again, (that seemed to give me about 1/2 hour of feeling ok) then went and fed him. He went back to sleep ok then.

I spent all Sunday crashed on the couch trying to catch up on rest & regain some energy. I was exhausted and drained. Duane was so sweet though, bringing me Gatorade and doing ALL the housework, washing, meals and everything to do with the kids.

I started to feel a little better last night, so Duane made me some mashed potato as I hadn't eaten since the night before. Last night I slept well, and feel so much better today, still don't feel like eating though.

So I'm not sure if it was the Tacos, even though no one else was sick or if I had Gastro. Gastro seems to be going around. Chelsea had it on Friday, she was feeling very crappy and asked me to look after Malia for a few hours for her. I did see Chelsea for a few minutes, but I don't really thing I would have caught anything then.

So who knows? I just hope that none of the kids get it.

2 funny things today

1)

We were all sitting at the dining table enjoying lunch when Grace & I had this conversation:

Grace: "That's my 'puter Mummy"

Me: "No Grace, that's Mummy's computer"

Grace: "I don't just think so Mummy, that's Grace's 'puter"

Me: "That's Mummy's computer Grace, not for Grace to play with"

Grace: "That makes Gracie very sad now Mummy" (said with a very forlorn face)

I couldn't help it, I just laughed. It seems my little girl is getting the hang of emotions & is learning how to express them. Or is she just starting to manipulate me????

2)

I was changing Xavier nappy this morning when I noticed something in it. On closer inspection I realised that it was a sticker from a mandarin. Then I remembered yesterday fishing out mandarin peel from his mouth. So it seems my little boy has swallowed the sticker whole and it has come out the other end whole too. Yuck, yuck!

Sure, I'm interested in buying a Racehorse

We have had such a great day!

I reverted back to my pre-kid days and crashed a 'fancy horse-buying' event, all because it advertised "free food and pony rides for the kids".

I had heard all about an opening day for a new business that allowed you to buy shares in race horses. They were having a big get together to no doubt get prospective buyers in and hopefully spend up big. Now we went with absolutely no intentions of purchasing a race horse, but the lure of seeing Grace riding a pony was enough for me to at least pretend that, A) we had the cash to do it & B)if we had said cash, yes of course we would pour it into horses.

So we threw on our most expensive threads & jewellery (great opportunity to drag out the Rolex) & headed into the hinterland ready to check out the horse talent.

The setting was beautiful. It was located in a gorgeous lush valley, with horses as far as you could see. The horses were stunning, and after seeing them I seriously did think about pouring all my money into them.

We talked and patted some of the horses in the paddocks. One of the cheeky things even tried to steal Xavier's sandwich as he was munching on it in his pram.

Grace then lined up for her pony ride. She was confidant but I was a little scared for her it was a huge pony, it's back came up to my shoulders. Grace loved every bit of walking around the "horse buyers" perched up on the pony. I nearly asked about purchasing shares in the pony, but thought that might out me as a non-potential buyer.

There was a fantastic playground set up for the kids. Grace played on the monkey bars and slide, whilst Xavier crawled around the bottom munching on leaves and grass. He had a few goes on the slide and loved every minute of it.

We even got a beautiful big BBQ lunch to enjoy. There were sausages, hamburgers, steak, salads and bread rolls. There were eskies laden full of beer, soft drink and wine for anyone to get what they wanted. We were not even asked about if we were interested in buying shares, everyone was pretty much just left to enjoy themselves.

It really was a beautiful setting, surrounded by mountains and horses. The wind was very chilly though, it was actually the coldest day on the coast this year. Lucky there was hot tea & coffee to keep us warm!

So after we were full of food, had fun on the swings and patted all the horses we headed home for a snooze.

It was a beautiful (cheap) day out and no doubt I will be scouring the paper for anything like that happening again.

Xavier is 10 months

AAAARRRRHHHHHH.....My second born is 10 months already......which means only 2 more months until the big one!

This month seems to have been a rather productive one for Xavier, he has learnt so much & is just getting more adorable every day.

Xavier is standing alone alot more now, the longest has been about 1 minute. He stands so still, just like his big sister did. Wonder if he will be walking by 11 months like she was? He is into absolutely everything. He loves climbing into the dishwasher, as soon as he hears me open it he is there in a flash. He loves pushing things around; chairs, prams, toy cars and Grace's old ride on car. The pram is his absolute favourite though, Grace gets a little upset though. When she is at school on Friday's I bring the pram out and Xavier has a ball playing with it all day....Grace is none the wiser!!

We spend alot of time outside & poor little Xavier was hurting his knees crawling around on the concrete so he has adapted his crawling style. Remember those people that were on 60mins ages ago that walked on their hands and feet? Well that's how Xavier has decided to do it too. It does look very strange but I do get the practicalities of it! No sore knees and it also saves his clothes from getting ruined!

Xavier loves putting things into things. He is always looking for a little nook or hole to put toys into, I often find a little stash of his toys in a hidden spot or jammed into some container. Xavier also loves to pack the toys away into containers. He always packs the Lego's up, even when Grace is still busy playing with them. He concentrates so hard in trying to put lids on containers and has even mastered putting duplo together. He doesn't get it together every time, but sometimes get the 2 plastic blocks to lock together. I find it amazing the difference in interests between my two kids at the same age. I have put it down to a boy/girl thing, but maybe it more a personality thing. Xavier loves making LOTS of noise - bashing things together or running his cars up the wall. Anything to get the noise happening.

Bath time with Daddy & Grace is one of his favourite times of the day. He loves splashing about in the bubbles and sucking on the face washer. He also laughs and giggles when Grace pours a bucket of water over his head (which happens continuously at bath time!) The kids have a basket ball hoop set up in the bath and Xavier loves shooting hoops, he gets the ball in most of the time. I am actually quite amazed at how coordinated he is.

Xavier loves his food. He is enjoying a wide and varied menu of tuna, salmon, spag bol, pasta bake, steak, Mummy's home made yoghurt, cheese, all vegies, all fruit, weetbix, rolled oats, cheese sauce, cruskits, rice cakes, avocado & for a special '10 mth' b'day treat he got to taste a childhood favourite; Milk Arrowroot biscuits. He ate it so delicately, biting of little bits and nibbling on them. I am sure they will be a favourite 'sometimes' food!

Xavier still enjoys his day sleeps, usually going for his first sleep at 8am-9.30am & then again from 12.30pm-1.30pm. We have had a few days of trying him on just the one day sleep, but he struggles staying up for so long. I have only done it when he has slept in of a morning and hasn't been ready to go back to sleep so early, so I was trying to get him to have the same sleep time as Grace. I prefer him to have the 2, but I also need them to sleep at the same time during the day, that's my break time!!

He goes to sleep so well, sometimes a bit of a grumble but most of the time just quietly slips off to la-la land. I lay him down (on his tummy) and he just stares at the side of the cot. Sometimes he just wants to play and we spend a few minutes walking back in to lay him down again, but eventually sleep wins. Xavier is still waking for his milk overnight. We have a nice snuggle in bed while he has a feed, then depending on if I can be bothered or not, he either goes back to his bed or stays with us. If he gets a little fidgety and won't sleep, he goes back to his bed and 99% of the time goes straight off to sleep. Xavier is still enjoying mornings, and loves to wake at the crack of dawn (5.30am AHHHHH...too early) If Mummy is still to tired to function, he goes onto her bedroom floor for a play and to read his books.

Xavier is trying so hard to talk and is busy mastering new words. He says Mum all the time now, and I really think that he knows it's me he is talking about!! He comes up to me saying, "Mumma, Mumma" Gosh it's adorable. He has said what sounds like dog a few times, not sure if he meant it or not. He loves copying the sounds that Grace makes, that includes the squealing ones too.

My little boy has discovered the joy of kissing. When I give him a kiss he leans in and opens his sweet little mouth ready. I love it! Also now when I say kiss to him he smacks his lips together and makes a gorgeous little kissing sound.

Grace & I are always singing 'twinkle, twinkle' and doing the hand actions, and now it seems Xavier has picked up on it. He scrunches his little fists up and open and closes them as we sing. I am so in awe of what he is learning, his little brain must be working in overdrive!

We are both still going well with breastfeeding. Xavier has somehow worked it all out so he only feeds morning, lunch time and just before bed. They are only very quick feeds, but I have no doubt that he is getting exactly what he needs. He is such a wriggly feeder and most of the time worms his way around that much that he is sitting up right on my knee and still feeding.

Xavier, I absolutely adore you. You continue to amaze and intrigue me with your funny little ways. I am so in love with you and although I love seeing you grow and learn; I really want to freeze time for a little bit. I am not ready for you to be nearly 1, nor for your baby days to be over. So lets just take the next month very slowly hey? It's all going a little too quick for Mummy!

Xaviers Birth

Xavier's Birth
17/07/2007

After the birth of Grace I felt so strong and powerful. I was on top of the world and totally amazed by the strength of both my mind and body. At the time her birth was exactly what I wanted, but looking back there were lots of things that I would like to have changed for my next birth. I didn’t feel like it was my birth, it was something that I was participating in, but I felt that I didn’t fully own all the decisions or used my body and its natural endorphins as well as I could have done.

So when I fell pregnant for the 2nd time, there were lots of things that I wanted to do differently. My dream was for a homebirth, mainly so that I could have more choices and decisions over the birth. I came across the Birth Centre and I immediately felt comfortable with their policies and was confident that I could give birth the way I wanted to there.

I met my Midwife Tracey when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. I knew instantly that I would feel comfortable having her at my birth, she had such a gentle and reassuring ease. I was so excited after this meeting, and always loved our appointments. So much nicer than my previous pregnancy and having to wait so long for appointments, they always felt like a cattle call. This was so much more friendly and personal. Labour and birth is such an intimate moment in our life, why would we want someone there that we had only just met? This felt so right.

My pregnancy progressed well, I felt great. Mum came up from Tas on the 6th July. She had missed Grace’s birth by a day, so I really wanted to make sure that she made it this time. I really thought that I would go into labour a few days after she got here and it would all be perfect timing. Well timing is not something that my future son was interested in! He wanted to stay put a little longer.

After trying all the conventional methods of a natural induction (curry, pineapple, EPO, walking, stairs) nothing seemed to be happening. We tried the sex thing, but it made it a little difficult as Duane had hurt his back and was high on Valium. Anyway after chatting to my cousin she suggested seeing a homeopath to get a concoction of blue/black cohosh and raspberry leaf. Needless to say I was booked in and given the nasty potion along with the advice that labour would probably start soon so go home and rest.

After taking it I knew that something was going to happen, I just had that giddy excited feeling. I went to bed and read some positive birth stories, visualising my little baby going down the birth canal and remembering the beautiful moments of Grace’s birth.

I woke at 10.30pm and felt slight pains. It wasn’t enough to get me out of bed, so I just went back to sleep, I figured if it was anything it would wake me up. I woke at about 12.45pm with stronger pains. I tried staying in bed but I found it harder laying down, I felt like I had to get upright. I woke and came out to the computer and started writing in my diary. I had a contraction at 12.52, 1am, 1.07am, 1.16am, 1.18am, 1.23am, 1.26am and 1.30am. They were starting to get more painful but I was able to walk and breathe through them. I knew that things were definitely happening now! Duane had woken by this stage and came out and made me a cup of tea. We woke mum at about 1.30am and she came out too. We all were so excited that things had started.

My contractions were very regular after this, coming about every 2 mins and lasting for about 30 secs. I was still able to breathe and walk through them. I was very calm and alert between the contractions and started organising my hospital bag….I hadn’t packed anything yet! When the contractions started getting more intense and needed my full attention, I went into the lounge and leaned over Grace’s Dora couch. It really helped to be in the dark and alone at this stage. I would go in there as soon as a contraction was coming and breathe and really concentrate on relaxing into each contraction. Once they were over I was fine and went back out organising things. At about 2.10am I had a few really tough ones and I remember thinking that things might be going along a lot quicker than I thought. As Wendy was going to be looking after Grace I told Duane to call her and her to come ASAP. He called her at 2.13am. I think at this stage the contractions were getting a lot more intense and harder….they needed my full concentration.

Duane was busy putting the car seat in and Mum was finishing of packing my bag. I told Duane to call Tracey and let her know what was happening. I didn’t want to go into hospital yet as I thought that things hadn’t gotten that far yet and I still had a while to go. I really didn’t want to go in there and be sent home. I chatted to Tracey on the phone and explained how I was feeling. I had to hand the phone over to Duane at one stage as I had knew a contraction was coming and wanted to get back in the comforting area of the lounge. Tracey suggested that we stay at home a bit longer as things had only just begun.

Wendy came at about 2.40am and asked how far apart the contractions were. I had been writing them down and they were on the bench….I turned the paper over so she couldn’t see because I knew that it would freak her out and I didn’t want any body around me stressed. My contractions were still 2 mins apart and some were even 1 min apart. Still with every one I would go into the dark lounge room and lean over Grace’s couch with my head on our couch. I really like the pressure on my forehead; it was to become my distraction. I was coping really well though - but I knew that they were getting more intense so told Duane to call Tracey and let her know that we were coming in. He called her at 2.42am and she said that she would meet us at the birth centre. I had gotten Duane to find the hot water bottle and fill it up as I was starting to get some back pain.

I had another few contraction whilst Mum and Duane got the car ready. I really was dreading the car ride; I remembered how much I hated it with Grace’s labour. That’s the main reason why any other children I have WILL be homebirths!!

Mum and Duane hopped in the front and I tried to get comfy in the back seat. They had grabbed some towels in case my waters broke. I told Duane to hurry up, I felt like he was driving so slowly. I lent over the back seat with my bum pointing between the 2 front seats. Imagine if my waters had broken then!! The car ride was horrible & distracted me from surrendering to the contractions. I felt every bump and crack in the road. I yelled at Duane to stop driving so badly and to stop hitting all the pot holes & also that it was the worst road in the world. The drive seemed to take so long. Duane ran all the red lights; I think that he was scared what I would do if he stopped!!

Mum was rubbing my back all the time and at one stage she told me that she could feel the babies head near my spine. I did not get much of a break from the contractions, they were pretty constant the whole trip. I thought at one time that my waters were about to break, I told mum this and she looked at me a little strange. She told me later that she really thought they might be delivering the baby on the back seat!! She had offered to come over the back with me, but I doubt there would have been enough room, what with my big pregnant self and the car seat!!

Once we finally got to the hospital, Duane dropped Mum and me off at the entrance. I got out of the car but knew that another contraction was going to come soon. They were quite hard at this stage and I didn’t want to walk through the Emergency department until I was sure another one wasn’t coming. I waited out the front and braced my self on the rail waiting for the next one to come. It came and it was a tough one. After it was over I told mum that we were going to run through emergency, because another one was not far behind. We raced through and another one came just as we got into the hospital foyer. I knelt on the floor and pushed my head into one of the seats. After that one we raced to the elevator, we made it up to the 3rd floor without another one. Once I was buzzed into the birth centre entrance another one hit. This one bought me to the ground. I needed to be down and in a dark place; the bright lights were distracting and seemed to be magnifying the pain. We let our self into the 1st birth centre room, it was around 3am.

Tracey hadn’t arrived yet, so we made our self comfortable. I had another contraction leaning over the side of the bed. I remember relaxing once we were there. It felt comfortable and familiar. I desperately wanted to get in the shower, remembering the relief it gave for Grace’s labour. So I stripped off and got the fit ball, sat on it and started rocking. Duane had the shower nozzle on my back and Mum had the one on my tummy. Every time a contraction came I would moan & roll on the ball. I also put my head into the corner of the shower; I was even banging my head on the wall. I just found the rhythm of this really helpful.

Once Tracey arrived she came in to see how I was going. She checked the baby’s heart rate and just observed how I was going. She then went to fill the bath up.

I spent the next bit of time just rocking on the fit ball with the Mum & Duane pointing the shower on my back and belly. I needed the water all over me, the shower nozzles seemed to small and not able to cover everything. I started to feel pressure and found it hard to stay on the fit ball. I pushed it out of the way and tried to stand through the contractions, but my body felt too heavy and my legs were starting to shake. Tracey grabbed some kneeling pads and set them up on the floor. I knelt on them and put my head in the corner of the shower walls, still rocking and swaying my hips. I had a few really strong contractions that were starting to get the better of me. I was starting to tumble with them, not riding them as I had been. I felt for a brief moment that I was loosing control; I needed it back to continue. Between the next few contractions I visualised my baby descending into the birth canal and my cervix dilating, this gave me the focus back, enough to relax back into every contraction. My legs started getting shaky, I told Tracey this and she whispered back that was good and things were moving well. I hadn’t even thought how close I was yet, I was just taking each contraction and trying to maximise its effectiveness. With each hard contraction blood and globs of mucous would start coming, up until then I hadn’t had a show or lost my plug at all.

My good friend Trudy arrived now, she was going to photograph/video the birth for us.

Tracey told me that the bath was full and asked if I wanted to get in. It was absolute bliss. The water covered my whole body and seemed to dull down the contractions, it was also nice to feel weightless.

I had a few hard contractions in the water, but I was handling them well. They were never getting on top of me. At one stage I felt a thud and then a drop, I am sure that this was bub dropping lower into my pelvis. I still didn’t realise then that it wasn’t much further along, I was actually really enjoying it. I was leaning forward on the side of the bath, Mum was rubbing my upper back and offering sips of water, Duane was in with me rubbing the lower part of my back.

All of a sudden my body made a involuntary grunt, I remembered this noise and said, “That was a bit weird, It wouldn’t be time yet would it??”

I was so conscious between contractions and could hold a normal conversation. I also remember after each contraction hoping that I wasn’t scaring Trudy, I wanted it to be a great experience for her. Of course that all went out the window when a contraction came!!

I had been hoping to have my baby born in the caul, however at 3.56am I felt the familiar “Pop” and release of pressure. I turned around and could see bit of mucous floating in the water and immediately said to Tracey “Oh bugger, I didn’t want that to happen!!” She just laughed and said the time was 3.56am.

The contractions were still powerful but were changing in from a chomping pain on my cervix, to pressure in my bottom. The pain seems more intensified, but not in a painful way.
I made a few other low groaning noises and then I knew that this was it….I was going to be meeting my newborn son soon. I didn’t want to just push for the sake of pushing, like I did with Grace. I wanted to just breathe this baby out and let my body do the work however long it took. After a few more grunts and light pushing from me I could feel him descend further and further down. His little head was coming out and then going back in, but I knew this was ok.

I started to get a little confused and unsure so I asked Tracey what I should be doing. She calmly replied to do whatever I felt like doing & that I was doing great. Now at the time I felt a little terrified that I wasn’t being told what to do, but I really know that this is the best way to birth. Just doing what the female body knows best & going with the flow of the birth.

At one stage I pushed and I knew that I had pooped in the bath. I told Tracey and she said, “I’ll just grab the pooper scooper and get it out” I laughed at her and said, “Ok, lets not call it that, maybe call it a net thing!!” Anyway she got her “net” and got all of it out (there wasn’t much actually)

The urge for my body to push was unbelievable. It is so primal and from the deepest part of my body, it cannot be stopped or fought against. After a few hard contractions I can feel my perineum stretching and the burning sensations of my baby crowning.

As things started getting closer Tracey asked if I wanted to catch my baby, I hadn’t really thought about it much but I immediately said, “No, Duane will.”

Duane was at my back, one hand on my lower back and one down ready to support the baby’s head as it came out. I had one almighty urge and I lightly pushed and breathed his head out. It was out!! The feeling of him emerging from me is something that I will never forget. His little head came out so slowly; I felt the ridge of his nose as he was birthed. Trudy was filming the whole thing and cried out, “Kiks, I can see his head and he is soooo cute!!”

Duane has both his hands on the baby’s head and we were just waiting for the next contraction. It seemed to take forever, but was about 1 minute. It’s the weirdest feeling having a baby’s head hanging out of you. In one way it’s a relief to stop that feeling of being jabbed with a red hot poker, but on the other hand it’s an uncomfortable feeling of still having the body inside.

The next contraction came and I pushed him out, well I thought I had but he had only gotten out to his knees. I should have realised then because I still felt so full, not the relief that I felt after Grace’s birth. Tracey was clearing the water around bubs face and whispered to me, “Just one little push Kirsten” So after a little push my little boy came sliding into the water, straight into his Daddy’s hands. I immediately wanted to see and cuddle him so as Duane held him I turned over, flipping my leg over the cord as I went. Once I was over Duane passed me my gorgeous purple & puffy newborn.

XAVIER THOMAS

17/07/07 @ 4.07am weighing 8lb 7oz
Weight: 3845 gms
Length: 55cms
Head: 35cm

Pushing out and meeting your baby for the first time would have to be the best feeling in the world. I was on such a high, I had trusted my body and it had birthed perfectly again. We sat in the water for a while admiring the new baby as he just gazed around the dimly lit room. Tracey was right there making sure that the exhausted Mummy didn’t let the slippery newborn dunk under the water (I actually did once!!)

Poor Daddy was a bit overwhelmed by it all and nearly passed out at one stage. I was leaning back into the side of the pool, beaming and so excited about my newest addition. Duane was over the other side, with my Mum rubbing his back and offering him water and trying to not let him pass out!

After about 10 minutes of soaking it all in, we moved to the bed to deliver the placenta & for Xavier to have his first feed. I layed him on my chest and he started rooting around for a feed, then slowly made his way to my right nipple. He attached perfectly the first time and stayed there for the next 45 mins. I didn’t want to have a managed 3rd stage, so it was important that Xavier was feeding as soon as possible so that my uterus would start contracting. I was exhausted at this stage and just wanted to cuddle and gaze at my beautiful new son. My contractions were not very strong and I was lazy in trying to push the placenta out. After about 45 mins I remembered that I had about an hour to get it out, so I pushed and pushed and finally it came. It was a relief to finally be empty of baby and placenta. As per my request the cord was only cut once it had stopped pulsing.

After an hour I gave Xavier over to my Mum for a cuddle and for her to dress him and Duane & I went to have a shower.
I stood in the shower washing away the remnants of the birth, with Duane supporting me. I was on such a high and just so proud of what we had just done. Giving birth is the most exhilarating, hardest, beautiful and natural things that I have ever done; I loved everything about the experience. I loved going through the birth centre as I felt that all my decisions were respected and pregnancy and birth were treated as normal, not an illness that need to be monitored and treated. I loved that I had no internals at all or any tears. I loved that I was home in my own bed snuggled up to my precious newborn just 4 hours after he was born (Xavier was born at 4.07am and we left the hospital at 7.30am).

I am so thankful for the support people that I had with me.

My beautiful Midwife Tracey who stayed in the background, offering encouragement when it was needed and helping me to trust and believe in birth and my body's ability.

My Mum, it was so special to have her at my birth, she has 5 children and I know how much she loved being with me at such a beautiful time (also for her nice firm back rubs, hitting just the right spot everytime!)

My beautiful husband, who remained so calm on the outside (although not on the inside!) and was constantly by my side offering support and encouragement.

Trudy my personal "paparazzi". She captured all the special moments & videoed the "grand entrance" of my gorgeous boy. Even though she had never seen a real-life birth, I knew that she would handle everything well. I loved being able to share this amazing experience with her, and to have someone to talk & reminisce with now. It was also my little contribution to 'normalising' birth and being able to share how wonderful it is.

Although I love having Duane at my births, I have a need to be surrounded by women. Not sure what it is, but it is a comfort to me to know that there are other women near me, who know the power of the female body and mind, even if they haven't realised it yet.

Both of my births have not just been about 'pushing a baby out'. I have been stripped bare and taking on such a journey into myself. The space in your mind that is purely reserved for birth is so full of raw emotion. I feel so lucky and grateful that I have had these 2 beautiful experiences.

Mother Day 2008

I have had a lovely Mother's day. Plenty of kisses, presents and being extremely spoilt.

Xavier was very excited about the whole thing, so much so that he had to be up at 5am to start the celebrations! He also came bearing a lovely little surprise in his nappy, I guess if was too much to ask to have a poop-free day. He also surprised me by starting to say "Mum" again. He hasn't said it for ages, but started again yesterday. Ahhh.....the boy has timing!!

So after assisting Duane in changing the wriggly monster, I got to sleep in and the kids & Dad went in to the lounge to play. At about 7.30am the 3 of them returned with toast & a cup of tea for me to enjoy in bed. Of course I had to share the toast with the 2 little munchkins. Grace then presented me with a gift bag, 2 cards and "Happy Muvvers Day Mummy" all wrapped up in a big cuddle. Xavier was disinterested and too busy trying to throw himself off the side of the bed or reprogramme the alarm clock. I opened my present and it was a pair of soft white slippers! Perfect as my last pair are falling apart and the stuffing is starting to come out.

After hanging around in bed for a while, we all got ready to go out for the day. Just as we were about to leave, Grace came up to me with another present bag. The name on it was a dead give-away though "Kazzaz", Yippee! It was my Pandora bracelet that I have been obsessing about for ages. Its a beautiful silver chain with the one charm on it, a heart like the one on Grace's. I am so lucky & I can't wait to add to it.

When Duane had bought it for me the shop Had suggested that I go in to make sure it was the right size. So we went straight to Westfield to get it checked and to also drool over future charms. There is one there that I would absolutely love. It's a mother holding her baby, might have to hint for it for another occasion. I do absolutely love the bracelet. Although its still bare, I can imagine how special it will be with all the charms on it. I haven't taken it off and I love hearing it clink and rattle on my wrist.

So after looking around for a bit the kids were getting tired so we headed home for nap time. We all had a nice luxurious sleep, then after waking headed to the hinterland for a picnic. We went for a drive to Hinze dam, but it is closed so we went searching for horses to look at. We stumbled across a riding school with lots of horses for Grace to ohhh & ahh over. We were heading to a park to have a picnic when I looked over at Grace as she was making a strange noise. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Gracie got sore throat Mummy" Great, I thought she must have gotten Duane & my germs. Then she threw up.....everywhere. Seems Mother's day shouldn't be void of Poo or spew. We quickly pulled over and got her out to clean both her and the car out. Poor little thing was standing on the side of the road naked, whilst we frantically searched the car for towels, blankets or anything to quickly stop the runny vomit from seeping into the crevices of the car seat. Once that was cleaned up as best as it could we headed straight home. She was fine after that, so I think it may have just been a touch of car sickness.

Grandma & Poppy came over for dinner, yummy silverside, vegies and cheese sauce. Grace was in her element performing and showing off all her tricks. She loved giving Grandma her present (slippers) and card with a big kiss, cuddle and "Happy Mothers day Grandma" She really is a sweetheart!

So all in all it was a fantastic day. I also got some lovely presents & card that Grace had made at school. A flower on a plaster stand. Also at playgroup the kids had made me a bookmark, with a little painting & photo of each of them on it. So special! The little hand made things are just so precious and i am looking forward to receiving more over the years.

Although my kids show me they love me every day, it is nice to have an extra special day!

All better now Mummy!

Grace is still at the delightful age of a kiss fixing everything. So after my 3 weary days of lying on the couch and the kids pretty much fending for themselves, Grace kissed me all over and declared, "All better now Mum, lets go play" I guess she was getting sick of all the TV and sandwhiches that I had been feeding them!

Anyway, I am all better now, I think its more to do with the course of A/bs and the horrid sinus infection clearing though! I'll take Grace's kisses just in case though. My sinus's finally cleared on Friday and it was DISGUSTING. It was 2 huge globs of yuck, but it felt sooooooo much better once it was out. The horrible things were starting to drive me mad and they had even started bleeding which was just yuck!

So just as I was getting all better, the man of the house decided he needed a little rest so he decided to inhale the germs. I really wish he hadn't of got it because he makes a shocking patient, nothing like a case of 'man-flu'. I guess it is kinda good though because at least he realises how hard it was for me being so sick and still having to deal with the kidlets. He keeps saying, "How did you do it....I am dyyyyyyyyiiiinnnggg, you must be superhuman" I've got no real answer except that I had no choice. It's not like I get sick leave and could just wallow in misery whilst tucked up in bed. He does get this luxury though, but I think he feels a little guily so he has been helping me out with the kids!

My little munchkin Xavier has decided that he doesn't want boob before he goes to bed of a night. He didn't last night or tonight. I offer and he just pushes me away and starts crying. He did have a feed last night, and I am fairly certain that he will visit again tonight. Its just a pain though as tonight my right boob feels a little blocked and there is a lump there. I might wake him for a feed before I go to bed just in case.

No other news really. Grace and I had a girly afternoon shopping together. Well mystery shopping, I had a few jobs today so she tagged along. The boys stayed at home together, no doubt playing cars or something masculine.

I really DONT want to hear this statement again for a long, long time (if ever)

I was in the bedroom changing Mr X who had done a nice sticky pumpkin coloured poo. I used a million wipes trying to get all his bits clean and fresh again. Grace came into the bedroom to see what was happening then we proceeded to have the following conversation:

Grace: "That's Xavier's penis"

Me: "Yes Grace that's Xavier's penis, Mummy is cleaning all the poo off it"

Grace: "Mummy"

Me: "Yes Grace"

Grace: "Gracie likes penis"

I'm really not sure what I muttered after that, I think that I just brushed passed it and started talking about something else.

Wiggly Day

The Wiggles were at Dreamworld yesterday and as we have annual passes I thought it would be nice to take the 2 kidlets. It's not school holidays, there wasn't a lot of advertising for it & surely people wouldn't just pay to go to watch the wiggles for 1/2 hour, so I really thought it wouldn't be that busy, maybe just pass holders and competition winner. Well was I wrong.....it was absolutely jam packed with under 4's & nearly every single adult has a pram just to add to the crampiness!

We had gotten there early parked our self under a shaded tent just to the right of the stage. I was so thankful that we did get a bit of shade as it turned into a very warm day. So after squeezing the pram into our tight little spot we had the joy of waiting. It was 10am, The Wiggles would not be gracing us with their presence until 11am! Great, how to amuse the kidlets knowing that the littlest one would be wanting booby soon? Grace was happy to munch on a mandarin and gaze around at the squillions of people around her. Xavier was happy to pull his socks half-way off then suck on them!

Jen & Cass were coming too, so when they turned up we had the task of getting them through the crowd into "our" spot, all whilst avoiding the evil glares we were getting from the other sardines packed around us! It was now that Xavier decided he was hungry and wanted a boob. There was nowhere for me to go to feed without giving up our prized seat so either he went without or I had to feed him there. Of course he won, so I sat down on the concrete and gave him a quick feed. The air down there was thick and hot, the view was just a see of legs. Lucky he only wanted a quick feed, I couldn't have sat there for too long - it was claustrophobic.

So once we were all in and comfortable it was a wait until the 4 strange men in bright coloured skivvies showed up. There was a warm up guy, he was just annoying and not appealing to the kids at all. Then finally the time come for Wiggles to come on stage. First they all did a lap around the audience, then up on stage to sing a few of their favourite songs. Now I am not into the Wiggles, and Grace knows who they are but has never watched a Dvd or them on TV. We sung and danced to the songs as best as we could. Grace was more interested in the other characters (Dorothy, the pirate guy and the dog) than the main attractions.

After about 1/2 hour it was all over and the crowds started to disperse. Jen & I took the kids down to the baby farm animals and the girls had a great time feeding them. It was all a little too much for Xav and he crashed in the pram. Grace insisted that we watched the cow being milked, so after that we headed home.

UPDATE ON SICKNESS:

After feeling the worst that I have felt in a long time, I am starting to get better. I have been on A/b's since Monday and they seem to be only making a slight dent in my illnesses now. My throat is still so thick and sore, my ears are blocked, my cough is going but still annoying & the worst now is my sinus's. They are so blocked and nothing I do will clear them. I have been to the chemist and spent $70 on everything they had that I could take when still breastfeeding. So I have sinus flush - the rinse stuff that you pour up one nostril and it is supposed to clear the sinus and then pour out the other nostril. I also have a nose spray that I can use of a night to clear it enough to breathe.

Then I have the prodeine (panadol and 15mg of codeine) that the Dr prescribed to me. I had been only taking 1 a night, but because I felt so crappy yesterday I took 2 last night (the script says I can take 2 x 3 times a day) Anyway, I WILL not be doing that again. The stupid things made be 'high as a kite' and hallucinate madly. About 1 hour after taking them my temp spiked up to 38.5, then slowly came down over the next few hours. I went to bed at about 8.30pm and then it all started. My head felt about 6 times bigger than it was, and it was all fuzzy. When I layed down I started to hear conversations far away in my head, and also music. The feeling was kinda like after being at a nightclub and then going home to silence. Every time I closed my eyes a really bright, realistic vision would come up. It definitely wasn't a dream as I was fully awake. It was so scary as some of the things that I was seeing were horrible and involved my kids. I was too scared to close my eyes so I just layed there with my eyes open, but still the noises where in my head. Then I started seeing things floating around the bedroom. Not sure what they were, but they looked like orange boxes. At one stage they seemed so real that I woke Duane just to double check they weren't really there. It was horrible, but eventually I got to sleep. I did have a great nights sleep though!

So it seems that my little trip might have also sent Xavier a little loopy. He woke the next morning (after having a feed o/night) very chirpy and full of new things. First he woke me up saying "Huuu-woo-woo" (Hello) and then was was standing near the couch and just threw his arms in the air and said "Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah" Not sure, maybe he was catching the flying orange things!! He spent the rest of the morning zooming around and the chattiest I have ever seen him.