~Grace Lily~
27th November 2005
10.08pm
2904gms (6lb 6oz) 49cm
For some reason I never really felt nervous about giving birth. I had read and been told all of the horrific stories….it’s a shame nobody really shares the good ones!! I had a dream earlier on in my pregnancy that my labour and birth would be a really great experience, and I guess I clung to this the whole time. I hadn’t organized a birth plan we just wanted Duane to be there and cut the cord. I had also asked my mum and Duane’s mum to be there too.
Based on my last period I had worked out my due dates to be the 28th November, however after my first scan this was revised to 4th December. This was changed again after my 20week scan to the 6th December. I always had a feeling that Grace would come early….before the end of November. I had arranged Mum’s flight from Tassie for the 28th November….fairly sure that this would be a safe date!!
I had a very uneventful pregnancy. I actually really enjoyed it and never got to a point that I was over it. I loved the feelings of movement and this is something that I miss even now. I was just amazed through the whole process how your body copes and the changes that it makes to grow the little baby! It is such a beautiful time! At 35weeks I went for my usual weekly check up and was told that my blood pressure was up and there was protein in my urine. I was sent home and put on complete bed rest for 3 days. Trudy and I had organized to go shopping at the new Westfield…..I was very disappointed that I couldn’t go! Once I realized that if my blood pressure didn’t go down there was a chance that I would have to go to hospital and could be induced or even have a Caesar I was very scared. I called Mum when I left the doctor’s and I was crying, mainly because I really didn’t want to have a Caesar.
I went home and rested and when I went back for my next appointment my blood pressure had come down again. My blood pressure stayed up slightly until my 38 week appt, when it was up high again. I was told to go rest in the surgery for 10mins and have it taken again. If it hadn’t gone down I was going to hospital. It was also at this appt that the Dr told me that she was concerned that her head hadn’t started to engage yet. She told me that it should have happened at about 36weeks and because it hadn’t could indicate that my pelvis was too small for the babies head. This would mean that they would trial me in labour, but there was another chance that I would have to have a caeser. My blood pressure had gone down a little bit, but she did say that I could go to hospital and be induced if I want! She said “don’t you want to meet your baby now”…I wasn’t quite ready and plus my mum wasn’t going to be here until next Monday. That was when my next appointment would be and it was nearly definite that I would be induced then. I called mum and asked her if she wanted to come up on the Saturday, just in case. She said she would if I really wanted to but Stephen (my little brother) was starting a new job and she needed to help him out.
I spent the week just pottering at home and on the Friday went out to lunch with the girls from Jalpak. I felt really good, but the pressure from standing up was starting to hurt. On the Saturday morning I got up with Duane and did my usual morning toilet run. It was then that I noticed dried blood in my pajamas. I didn’t really know what this was so I quickly grabbed my pregnancy book and had a read. I wasn’t sure if it was my plug or not. I read that if it was it didn’t mean Labour would start straight away so I just told Duane to go to work and I would call if anything was happening. I did actually call the hospital and they said that it can be anything up to a week away…so just relax! I was really calm…but a bit giggly to think that it had all started! Duane seemed really calm, but as soon as he left for work he called his mum to come up and stay with me!
Wendy came up at about 7.30am….but nothing seemed to be happening. I spent the day cleaning out the study for Mum to stay in.
Saturday night at about 6.45pm I asked Duane to get me some icecream with walnuts and ice magic. When he bought it over to me I yelled at him for not having enough ice magic on it! He told me off for speaking to him like that. I told him that I was sorry but not very comfortable at the moment I was starting to get little pains!!
We went to bed at about 9.30…I was waking about every 20-30mins with little period cramps. They were nothing too bad….I think that I even slept through a few. The next morning when I woke up I was still having the pains but I felt really calm and relaxed. Duane went and got fruit loaf and the papers and we sat out the back having a nice relaxing breakfast. I had some panadol, thinking this might just take the edge off. Duane called his mum and she came straight over. I just made Duane promise that I could stay at home as long as I wanted to. When Wendy got here my pains were still only really slight, but she was a little worried as they were about 5-6 mins apart. She thought that at this stage I should be at the hospital. I didn’t want to go; I really believed that when I need to go my body would let me know. I did call the hospital at 9.30am and the midwife that I spoke to said to stay at home until the pain was unbearable. When I told her that they were about 5 mins apart, she said “so have you had one since talking to me” and I said “just finished one actually” She said I wouldn’t be in labour if I could still hold a conversation. I told the midwife that my mother in law was worried that I wouldn’t make it to the hospital and she told me that she must watch too much ER and I probably had another 24hours to go.
I called Trudy, and her and Murray came over to visit. I was still having pains! (I was in denial and didn’t want to call them contractions) I felt fine though. I did have to start standing up and breathing through them though. I hadn’t done any classes but I had read if you tense up and hold your breath it makes them worse. Nicole came over and helped me finish setting up Gracie’s room. We put the pictures and light up. I was still having contractions but as long as I stopped and stood up all was fine! At about 4pm they were starting to get a little painful, Wendy and Duane suggested that we go to the hospital. I really didn’t want to but went anyway. When we got to the delivery suites, Duane picked up the phone and told the midwife that his wife was expecting a baby. This just cracked me up, and when the midwife opened the door I said” I’ve some to pick up my baby!” As soon as I said this she said that I wasn’t in labor as I was laughing and joking! She hooked me up to the monitor to check the contractions and the baby’s heartbeat. My contractions were a little irregular and still only about 5 mins apart. Grace’s heartbeat was fine….but she had fallen asleep so it didn’t look like anything was going to happen. She gave me an internal and I was only ½ cm dilated. She sent me home with some sleeping tablets and panadol and said that nothing would probably happen for another day or so!
We got home at about 6pm. When I got home the pain was starting to get stronger. Not unbearable but enough for me to not do anything in between but relax. I wanted to hold off taking the sleeping tablets for as long as I could. I wasn’t sure how long they would last for, but I guessed about 6-8 hours. I wanted to take them as late as I could so that I could sleep the whole night. I spent about ½ hour in my bedroom trying different positions to get comfortable…at one stage I was laying on the floor squeezing Daisy’s paws! She didn’t seem to mind though. Duane ran me a bath. it was really nice to feel the water but because our bath was so small I couldn’t fit my whole body in so my belly poked out! I just poured water over it which helped. My pains were starting to spread to my back. It was like a tightening of my lower stomach and lower back. I just concentrated and breathed through them. Wendy left whilst I was in the bath. I got out of the bath at about 6.30 and decided that I wanted to take the sleeping tablets. I was unsure how soon they would kick in so I kept walking from our bedroom to the pool table, which was at the far end of the house. I just wanted to keep upright; I found I dealt with it better this way. I wasn’t timing my contractions but I was having 2 every return trip. I would lean over the dining chairs and just breathe. By about 7.15 the sleeping tablets didn’t seem to have kicked in but the pain had! I got Duane to call the hospital and ask when the tablets would kick in…I needed to know! He must have said on the phone that it didn’t sound like I was getting any relief and so they suggested that I go in for a shot of pethadine to let me sleep.
We got back in the car and headed back to the hospital. As I was getting into the car 2 women walked past our house. One of them said that they hoped I felt better soon…I mustn’t have looked too good with the hot water bottle over my stomach. I just told them that I thought I was in labor and I was on the way to the hospital!
We didn’t have time to park the car…we just left it in the turning circle! I really thought that I was just going to get my shot of pethadine and then head home! We got up to the birthing suite a little after 8. I wasn’t feeling too bad…but I kept a sad face on so that they didn’t think I wasn’t in labour! It was the same midwife and she took me to a suite and got me up on the table to do another internal. I was 3cms (8.20pm) by this time & my contractions were about 3 mins apart! The midwife said then that I would probably have another 7 hours to dilate and then up to an hour of pushing as this was my first baby. My contractions started to become quite painful and I couldn’t believe that I was going to be in even more pain for the next 8 hours. I really didn’t think that I could cope for that long. The midwife could see that the contractions were starting to get painful and offered me the gas.
At this stage I was happy to take drugs. I hadn’t really thought about pain relief before, I just knew that I didn’t really want an epidural. I was a little scared about the needle going into my back. I started on the gas…not really sure if I was sucking it right but it gave me something to concentrate on. This bit is a bit of a blur but I remember just leaning over the bed with Duane rubbing my back. I think that the midwife went and got a heat pack to put on my back. I think that it helped but I remember asking Duane “Why is something so natural so painful??” It was 8.45pm and I was leaning over the side of the bed when I felt a weird sensation and then a pop. I looked down and saw a puddle of water tinged with pink. I turned to Duane and said “I guess that’s my waters breaking!” I remember calling out to the Midwife to tell her that they had broken and for some reason feeling very excited. The midwife grabbed a towel and wiped up the water and I then she looked at me a little weird. Looking back now I think that she then realized that things might be going a little quicker than expected.
As soon as my waters broke the pain intensified. I can’t remember there being a break between my contractions, I think that they were on top of each other. I couldn’t comprehend that the pain could get any worse so I asked for an epidural. The Dr was notified but I was told that the operating theatre was busy and there was a 40 minute wait. I couldn’t believe that I was going to have to put up with this pain for another 40mins!!! It must have been the gas talking because I was starting to get very paranoid. I thought that it was a conspiracy to keep the epidural away from me. The Dr came in to put the canular in for the epidural. He looked vaguely familiar and I thought that he was the trainee sonographer that had done my last scan. I kept on asking if he was a trainee and pleading for my epidural. I know that I didn’t really want the epidural but once I decided to have it I wanted it NOW. I still was a little paranoid that they were just telling me it was coming. I remember telling the Dr He was lying and “bullshit” it was coming. As it turned out they were telling the truth! I was standing at the end of the bed sucking the gas for dear life. Duane was on the right hand side of me whist the Dr had my left hand trying to get the canular in. I can’t even remember the pain of the needles going in, but I vaguely remember that he had trouble getting a vein. He had 2 goes at the top of my hand and blood was going everywhere. I just remember sucking on the gas and I don’t think that I was too cooperative in keeping still for him. At one stage I was just sucking on the mouth piece of the gas, it wasn’t even hooked up! I felt that the gas wasn’t working so I kept trying to turn the machine up. I think that the midwife turned it down a few time and I was hitting the machine to turn it back up. I also told the hospital to “pay there gas bill” because I kept thinking that the gas had run out. Even though it felt at the time that the gas wasn’t working I think it gave me something to concentrate on. I probably would have been fine with just the mouth piece!
I was still wondering where my epidural had gone. The Dr was still having trouble getting the canular in and blood was going everywhere. I asked if there was a problem and he kept saying no problem but please keep still. I looked over and Duane was slumped in the chair in the corner. I though he looked really relaxed (he was actually nearly passing out because of the blood) and asked if they had given him my epidural. I remember thinking “bastards” that was mine! I also offered him my gas but he declined! Once the canular was in I went in to the shower, it was now 9pm. It was now that I had to give up the gas…the cord wouldn’t reach to the shower!!
The shower felt beautiful. I was on the fit ball with 1 hose on my tummy and Duane with another on my back. It felt so nice with the warm water. I was just rocking and moaning. I was moaning and making weird noises through a contraction. When it had finished I looked up and Kerry the midwife was standing above me with a puzzled look on her face. She said that if I needed to go to the toilet to let her know. I thought “as if I am going to be able to go to the toilet!!!” Even though the toilet was right behind me there was no way I could even have been bothered to move to there!!! I didn’t understand that she thought I was nearing to push.
I was only in the shower for 30 mins, but had managed to flood the bathroom. I had somehow got the fitball over the drain and no way were they going to tell me to move it!! I must have started to make some weird noises again and also mentioned that I wanted to do a poo. Kerry was back and asked me to go to the bed to get checked again. She did an internal and I was fully dilated. Wow I had gone from 3cms at 8.20pm to 10cms at 9.30pm!! Once I was on the bed a new nurse came in for something & I asked if she was going to give me my epidural!! I was way too gone for one but I still had it in my head that I was getting one. Kerry & the Dr just laughed! I had the uncontrollable urge to push. It was such a primal and overwhelming urge…there was no way that I could stop it. I didn’t understand that you didn’t push from your vagina. Nobody had told me that’s not how you did it. For the first few pushes I was getting it all wrong. Kerry put her finger on my perineum and told me to push there. It sure made things a lot easier! I was pushing about 3 times with every contraction. With each push it felt like my head was going to blow off. It felt like I was pushing for ages and I was starting to get a little disheartened. I put my hand down and felt the baby’s head…I could feel hair. The Dr, Kerry & Duane kept telling me how well I was doing. They got a mirror and I could see only about the size of a 20 cent piece of her head. I couldn’t believe it I had been pushing for ages and that was all so far!! How was I going to get the rest out?
I watched with the mirror for a little bit but then decided to just concentrate on pushing. After a few more pushes her head started to crown and I got the “ring of fire” It fells like somebody is stabbing you with a red hot poker. I told Kerry that it was burning and they got a warm face washer and supported my perineum. This was instant relief. With the next push her head was out. I felt so in control with the next few pushes. My midwife didn’t guide me at all I really felt when I had to push and I had so much control over how much to push. Kerry and the Dr commented on how much control I had. I really believe that listening to my body prevented me from any tearing! It is such a weird feeling lying on the bed with a head hanging between your legs. I felt like I couldn’t lay flat, I just wanted to raise my lower back and bum of the bed. I really thought that I would squash her! After a little rest and then 1 more contraction the rest of her little body slivered out and delivered straight to my chest. That was the best feeling!! I loved that feeling of instant relief and emptiness. It felt like so much pressure inside me and then after she was born just instant emptiness and relief. She came on to my tummy…my little purple, gooey, gorgeous girl! Grace Lily Penney, born at 10.08pm. Just 2 hours after arriving at the hospital! My instant thoughts were that she was a boy because of her swollen “bits” but they reassured me that she was a girl.
~Relieved and exhausted Mummy~
